Love me some pickles. . I Anonymous 12/ 23/ ) No. 522930202 Tell me about it. sweat to the stare an Thursday abought a half gallon jar of pickles Have me same p 4Chan pickles

Love me some pickles

I Anonymous 12/ 23/ ) No. 522930202
Tell me about it.
sweat to the stare an Thursday
abought a half gallon jar of pickles
Have me same pickles
seat we as saw as I get home
we good I decide I' ll have a few mare
awalk hacket my computer and start to work but the urge is not sated
shat by a long shat
name hacket pickle jar several mare time
seat several pickles each time
rafter an hour the jar is empty
I] of my daily sodium livertaster m good
minutes later I hear a churning in my stomach
mat a light rumbling, sounds like the noise an old tub makes when Wu suddenly pull the drain
sprint to bathroom made
bearely get my ass an the tailed as a ******* waterfall emerges my asshole
waver in my life have relief and horror been such close bedfellows
rafter about ten seconds of continuous familt it subsides to a trickle and stops
itoilet water is green and smells like vinegar
ybody didn' t even trata digest that ****
mclean up and W hacket computer
thiinking "thank god that' s over"
Even. Close.
Mave minutes Afterthe rumbling is back
seven time
reprint to bathroom, lather, rinse, repeat
tthis happens five mare ******* times
aite; finally all gane
is concave: I have never had less food inside my body
cleaned out
bcue rumble
asit an tailed but it' s different this time
kl ; nothing in there
whit out a tiny amount illiquid, immediately feel better
Ewell I guess there was just a tiny bit left. that wasn' t m -"
sail at ance the burning fire afa thousand ) suns sets man my anal sphincter
kl had just shat out pure stomach acid
gigantically wipe at my ass to prevent it melting away like the spaceship :) or in Alien
in shower, turn cold water an full blast, and lie prone while gently sobbing
off and crawl exhausted into bed at we in the afternoon
asleep hours
In retrospect, it was all tatally worth it.
Have me some pickles.
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Submitted: 06/11/2014
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#9 - masqueraide (06/11/2014) [-]
Not the first time OP's butthole has been ravaged by a pickle.
#35 to #9 - elgrind ONLINE (06/11/2014) [-]
No, I don't see what you mean.
#27 to #9 - ewr (06/11/2014) [-]
User avatar #46 to #9 - catpisseverdeen (06/12/2014) [-]
First time I've seen that properly used.
User avatar #52 to #46 - drewhamster (06/12/2014) [-]
It has been awhile.
#5 - chodes (06/11/2014) [-]
I've been there before. I know the pain he describes.   
The most unholy of burns.
I've been there before. I know the pain he describes.

The most unholy of burns.
User avatar #81 to #5 - orangepikmin (06/12/2014) [-]
It sounds like you were both put in quite the pickle.
#6 to #5 - anon (06/11/2014) [-]
how do you **** out stomach acid?!
#7 to #6 - chodes (06/11/2014) [-]
Very carefully.
User avatar #34 to #6 - dsendz (06/11/2014) [-]
through your ass
User avatar #28 to #6 - lolikikolik (06/11/2014) [-]
you dont, its ********
#40 - anon (06/12/2014) [-]
>like the spaceship floor in alien

******* lost it. Pic related, its his ass
#2 - immatakeaduty ONLINE (06/11/2014) [-]
"frantically wipe at my ass"
User avatar #84 to #2 - landartheconqueror (06/12/2014) [-]
"my ass is eating my hand! it hungers... for more!"
#8 - casualbench (06/11/2014) [-]
**casualbench rolled image**
**casualbench rolled image**
User avatar #98 to #8 - butterduck (06/12/2014) [-]
The amount of relevence is real.
#1 - daftiduck (06/11/2014) [-]
Well, I haven't heard that one before.
#55 to #1 - ishotthedeputy (06/12/2014) [-]
You still haven't heard it You saw it hue
#17 - ihateaccountnames (06/11/2014) [-]
I guess you could say he got into a bit of a pickle    
 Or it got into him
I guess you could say he got into a bit of a pickle

Or it got into him
#48 - catpisseverdeen (06/12/2014) [-]
Seriously? None of you faggots?
User avatar #57 to #50 - gothpride (06/12/2014) [-]
Here you go. "Consumtion of some sugar free candies may cause stomach discomfort and/or a laxative effect.
Individual tolerance will vary.
If this is the first time you've tried these candies, we recommend beginning with one-fourth of a serving size or less."
#103 to #50 - anon (06/12/2014) [-]
User avatar #96 to #50 - thighhighkneesocks (06/12/2014) [-]
(I'm going to warn you, this is coming in segments.) This review is from: Haribo Gummi Bears Sugar Free 5lb Bag (Grocery)
Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.


I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.
User avatar #97 to #96 - thighhighkneesocks (06/12/2014) [-]
I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile.
#70 - Holyshizznips (06/12/2014) [-]
Done this multiple times and can attest, the pickle cleanse is the best.
#75 to #70 - bananamann (06/12/2014) [-]
Did you mean to rhyme? Nice job, anon.
User avatar #77 to #75 - Holyshizznips (06/12/2014) [-]
now thumb me you whore, or you get no more.
User avatar #76 to #75 - Holyshizznips (06/12/2014) [-]
To be quite honest It just came to me
But I do think, it was meant to be.

dem pickles.
User avatar #82 to #76 - exclamation (06/12/2014) [-]
Your rhymes have the sickest flow
Don't get crazy; be calm and take it slow.
User avatar #16 - captainpickles (06/11/2014) [-]
<3 love you too
User avatar #62 to #61 - badmotorfinger (06/12/2014) [-]
User avatar #86 to #61 - dudewitharake (06/12/2014) [-]
never forget
#49 - greatcornholio (06/12/2014) [-]
*roll pitcher*
User avatar #68 - ohshoot (06/12/2014) [-]
Peanutbitter? Are you alive? We have a mission for you.
#90 to #68 - wagenmaster (06/12/2014) [-]
User avatar #93 to #68 - dudeyouisnasty (06/12/2014) [-]
No, I have done the peanutbitter thing, eating tons of sugar free gummie bears. But this is too much, no one should have to endure that. If he thinks the gummies were bad, hes never **** pure stomach acid.

One of my bad cravings for pickles caught me off guard. I ate 1.5 liters of hamburger pickles in one sitting. It was pure bliss. Then 10 minutes later the force of poseidons trident was at my hole. I couldnt even make it halfway to the bathroom (30ft) before my bowels exploded. There was no holding back. It just kept comming for what felt like 30 seconds. That **** burned as if I just shoved ghost peppers up my ass and smeared the juice all over. I sat on that toilet for 40 minutes. I had cramps and muscle spasms that would rival a pregnant girl. I ran out of **** after a few minutes, then a almost clear stomach acid seeped out for 20 minutes. Every time I tried to stand up and wipe it off in order to make a run for a bathroom with a shower or tub my bowels felt as if they were about to rupture and I was forced to sit back down or pour more white hot liquid all over the ground.

When comparing it to when I broke my arm both times, my leg, ankle, toes, or fingers, falling off a two story roof, or getting run over by a tractor. The bathroom pickles explosion was by far the worst thing to happen to me in my entire life.
#85 - GShock ONLINE (06/12/2014) [-]
User avatar #74 - wearethedead (06/12/2014) [-]
Does anyone else desperately want to see the story that prompted this guy to say 'Tell me about it?' and then add that glorious story?
#83 to #74 - issamn (06/12/2014) [-]
definately want
User avatar #18 - howunexpected (06/11/2014) [-]
As part of a pep-rally for my school, I participated in a hot-sauce drinking contest.
I lost in so many ways.
The burn going down was like swallowing boiling water and then squirting acid on my face
The lasting burn was undescribable
But the eventual poop... oh god. I was seconds from applying Mineral Ice to my sphincter
#3 - maela (06/11/2014) [-]
#71 - Mebeshe (06/12/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #63 - cancerstickfiend (06/12/2014) [-]
I went and got a pickle after reading this.

Love me dem pickles.
#38 - skittlesinexcess (06/11/2014) [-]
Could just used the pickle as a butt plug and saved him self the trouble.
Could just used the pickle as a butt plug and saved him self the trouble.
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