Lesson in manliness

mysticado

MAN TIP #2
TEAA( 9
BECUSE IF mu _ KNOW HUM
YOU ARE REQUIRED To TURN w YOUR MAN CARD.
DOM’ BE A VICTIM.
FIRM UP: THE WM
wig
WHAT ABOUT THE REST’
THESE ARE FOR MANLY MEN
THE REST ARE FOR LADY MEN
HEAVEN
OUIJI( TIN
WHILE PRIME is LIKE A NAKED .
DRY AGED PRIME BEEF Is um A NAKED SUPERMODEL ORGY.
PRIME RIB Is A cur. NOT RIB THAT Is RATED PRIME.
WHAT mu ARE LOOKING FOR is PRIME PRIME RIB.
FREEZING BEEF IS WORSE THAN YOUR DOG.
NEVER MM/ S BEST FRIENDS.
My You BOT w HELL It You DO EITHER EVER.
PREP TIME
NEVER EVER
BECAUSE or THE NATURE or SEA SALT. THIS ts A HUGE
FOR ITEM. NEVER USE CHEAP **** .
II Us?
I' EXTRA ‘VIRGIN PA" OI
REM MEN - LIKE.
ANYWAI
gain AS you / E Ir
LIKE THIS AT. 'FTER ' a
AROUND 15 MIN
Nay /5 saw TIME FIRE THE seed ,
BLAZE OF GLORY
HOW NOT WOULD THE GRILL BE?
IT ON THE OF THE Sook.
THE MORE moan, THE LOWER THE TEMP.
USE THIS A SMALL GUIDE As EVERY GRILL is WHERE
BLUE RARE
AC HIGH Ag THAT BEAST
WILL so
MEDIUM WELL
MEDIUM RARE
MEDIUM HEAT
HOW II( NOW WHEN MY MAR
B? GRILLED TO THE PREFECTION
IWANT IT?
mm um
Br moat.
ON WHICH FINGER mu TOUCH VOER’ Thl/ MB rot
N STIFFENS THE MEAN PART UNDER THE THUMB
MEDIUM ts BOTH MIDDLE AND RING FINGERS TOUCHING THUMB
AND F Mot’) USE sum YOU ARE A 'iiu' e A .
JUST LIKE Au. , Wis is To ' etre" s
BAD First cg» STEAK
mews 4 'scilla' s,' bbts' rsi' is A CRIME AGAINST whim
FT sums .
STEAK SPA.
SAUCE ST! STEAK
I saucy
FINAL THOUGHTS’
THERE' S Too MUCH STUFF "NERDD HERE To Do THE
WWW PANTS NOTES COVERING ADDITIONAL mum
FEEL FREE re ASK ‘ I' IONS w COMMENTS or MESSAGING
ME IF I MISS THE COMMENT.
THERE' S ALWAYS BOOGIE Too.

...

+287

Views:	18916
Favorited:	206
Submitted:	10/18/2014

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+27

#30 - willys (10/19/2014) [-]

So in other words,

1. Don't buy your steak from the grocery store when you can pay twice the price at a butcher for beef that came from the same damn plant originally anyways.

2. Eating only like 5% of the cow is manly and the rest is girly.

3. Don't use higher quality olive oil.

4. Salt that thing like it's the 1700's and you're trying to preserve it for a year.

5. Cooking every last bit of flavor and juice out of it (well done) is perfectly acceptable.

6. Supplementing the flavor with a well-crafted sauce is unacceptable.

I don't think you know as much about steak as you'd like to think you do.

#58 to #30 - jcrequiem (10/19/2014) [-]

The reason you should buy from the store is that butchers hang the meat for 14-21 days in the store/fridge depending on butcher, stores get the meat stright from the slaughterhouse, boned cut and wrapped in plastic. a good steak is a hung steak.

Always ask your butcher if he cuts his own beef

#59 to #30 - toguro (10/19/2014) [-]

In all fairness the butchers where I live I can get seriously ******* good meat for very low prices, 1KG of pork sausage for about £3-4 depending on which variant I want.

#55 to #30 - anon (10/19/2014) [-]

I agree with all of these points except one, a beautifully seasoned and cooked steak definitely doesn't need a sauce added. I mean its not unacceptable, but I also do think your something is wrong with someone if they NEED (as in, can't eat ti without it at all) to add them ,WANTING to add them is a different story however

#63 to #55 - willys (10/19/2014) [-]

Oh I totally agree with that. If people drown every steak they eat in that stuff without even tasting it first, they're doing it wrong. But to say that adding it at all at any point makes you less of a man is silly.

+44

#10 - thechosentroll (10/18/2014) [-]

Or how about I cook it however the **** I want, because I'm a grown-ass with their own taste, who doesn't need a guide on how to make a steak? I mean, a steak is just a slab of meat and can be prepared in the same way as any other type of meat. There's not just one universal way to cook a steak. My prefered method is pretty easy:
1. Get any old pork steak from a buthers' shop. Doesn't have to be cut from an angels' ass to make a good steak.
2. Carefully de-bone and remove any ligaments.
3. Tenderize by punching the steak into submission, because hammers are too rough and it's more fun this way.
4. Mix whatever condiments I feel like using this time, usually including salt, pepper, mustard and often some kind of alcohol. Make lots of marinate.
5. Let steaks marinate in it overnight
6. Toss steaks in oven and cook at about 150 degrees until they seem medium, then turn that bitch up to 250 to get them nice and crispy.

You get reasonably priced tender steaks that don't require a grill, are well done and juicy on the inside and crunchy on the outside. The marinate tends to form this little crust on top that makes them extra crunchy. It's the same method I use for kebabs.

#16 to #10 - anon (10/19/2014) [-]

Because remember kids, there is nothing manly about needing a grown man to take the bones out of your stake for you.

#19 to #10 - jaysnk (10/19/2014) [-]

Or how about I cook it however the **** I want

#48 to #10 - securityexplain (10/19/2014) [-]

I thoroughly disagree with 2.
Depending on kind of meat, leaving the bone can make it noticeably tastier. Good old pork, for example.

Also, about number 3, just grab a mallet thats meant to be used for tenderizing meat, and dont hit the ******* thing like you're trying to tear out foundations of a ******* building.

-1

#50 to #10 - enduranceathlete (10/19/2014) [-]

#34 to #10 - greyhoundfd (10/19/2014) [-]

Enjoy your ****** steak.

#32 to #10 - norkas (10/19/2014) [-]

>kebabs

#2 - lotengo (10/18/2014) [-]

for **** sake son, you dont want to keep poking your steak with a thermometer, thats how you lose all the juices.

Cooking steak aint science, just do it a few times. You'll get the hang of it within a few times.

#37 - funkmasterjunk (10/19/2014) [-]

I work as a butcher at albertsons we still cut all our steaks in store and its all USDA choice. Prime is totally over rated its like you could have a 10/10 really hot but high maintenance supermodel or you could have a 9/10 still really hot, low maintenance babe who's awesome as **** (in other words you pay more for prime than its usually worth). That being said, if you can find dry aged prime it is always worth buying. Dry aging is an old school technique where basically you set the **** on a rack for like a month or two, cut the moldy outer layer off, and the good, inner meat has the most ridiculously amazing flavor ever. Now a days most beef/pork/lamb/etc is wet aged, or basically put in a bag of its own blood for a month or two. You can faux dry-age a steak by setting it on a plate unwrapped in your fridge for a couple days, although its still nothing like the real deal.
Back to the prime choice thing. About 50% of all cows in the industry are labeled choice these days. This means at the grocery store level we get all huge variety of different qualities, including top tier choice. If you are a chill person who's not a picky asshole, most butchers will go in the back and find a good quality loin to special cut your steaks from. That being said, if you act like an asshole to a butcher theyre gonna piss on your head and call it rain, cus most butchers dont really give a **** about your dinner unless you give em a reason to.
One final thing. New Yorks, ribeyes, and t-bones are the classic steaks everyone buys. But there are a ton of other great steaks out there that are cheaper and have good flavor, despite being a little tougher. Flank or skirt steak is a really freaking good steak, especially if its been run through a tenderizing machine. Chuck Eye steaks are basically little mini ribeyes. Flat irons and top sirloin are also delicious and cheap. And a side note if you get a New York and it has distinct semi-circular part like the picture, thats liver and its nasty

#51 to #37 - enduranceathlete (10/19/2014) [-]

#40 to #37 - kameli (10/19/2014) [-]

You know your **** , my nig nog.

#41 to #37 - independantnight (10/19/2014) [-]

I like liver. Also, you left out that Dry aging involves leaving them in what is basically a wine cellar with a bunch of salt blocks. It's kind of important I gather…

Otherwise, very useful post, thanks!

+14

#9 - poopums (10/18/2014) [-]

***** DONT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE AND EAT MY ****** STEAKS!! IF I WANT SOME GOD DAMN SWEET BABY RAY'S ON MY ****** STEAK IMA EAT THAT SWEET BBQ'D DELICOUSNESS WHILE BATHEING IN SWEET BABY RAY'S.

Either way, steak is still tasty as **** .

#36 - pokimone (10/19/2014) [-]

So in other words real men have more money and time than they know what to do with. Shouldn't a real man be out building a god damn house or killing bears instead of nitpicking what someone likes on a damn steak. I love some damn A1 sauce, and if you ask me, a real man doesn't go around ******* anyone over for liking something a bit different. **** outta here.

#14 - jonnythan (10/19/2014) [-]

even putting "well done" steak in this ******* image voids all "manlyness" it tried to exemplify.
Don't ******* waste a good steak by cooking it well done.

#24 to #14 - konradkurze (10/19/2014) [-]

right...one does not burn that ****

medium at worst

#33 - megasharkman (10/19/2014) [-]

Eating steak and drinking scotch doesn't make you manly. All of that garbage was made up by fat guys trying to make themselves feel better about their wives masterbating to dudes like Channing Tatum.

#13 - YoursTruley ONLINE (10/19/2014) [-]

i am a man and will eat my steak how ever the **** i want

#56 - gracefuldamned (10/19/2014) [-]

A real man doesnt need advice on how to cook a ******* steak.

#39 - makotoitou (10/19/2014) [-]

>use a temperature gauge
maybe if you're retarded

#4 - minelava (10/18/2014) [-]

#45 - anon (10/19/2014) [-]

Nitpicking the **** out of meat is the meaning of being "girly"

Just pick some meat out at wherever the **** you wanna buy it (you're an adult, right?) and cook that **** however you fking want (see above reasoning).

I chuckle at the wording of the post but ultimately real men don't have time to be so particular about what they're eating that night.

Learn your cuts of meat, prep them how you like, season how you like, enjoy your meal.

That's what being a man is.

#23 - buttholee (10/19/2014) [-]

Me:
1-Buy tenderloin from where ever the **** good tenderloin is made
2-Season with... seasoning. (It's called seasoning for a reason. I use montreal steak spice)
3-Let BBQ heat while flavour soaks in
5-Cook.
Side note: While they try to act all manly and **** , why the **** do they have well done steak? That's how you ruin the meat.
6-Eat immediately. A: It's crispy and hot, so it's prime for the eating and B: the juices soak into the potatoes or I sponge the bread with it. It's ******* great.
And yeah, sometimes I use sauces to enhance the taste, not a litre of sauce, just a bit to enhance the flavour of the meat.

But that's just my opinion... a real man eats a steak however the hell he wants

#60 - iridium (10/19/2014) [-]

My man card?

Bitch a man doesn't give a **** about making his ******* steak a particular way, a man makes his steak however the **** he wants and doesn't give a **** about what other men say about his steak.

You lose that **** when you let other people dictate your food. Give me YOUR mancard.

#1 - aldkai (10/18/2014) [-]

inb4 the picture of that one manly guy who's name I just never heard.

< But have this.

#18 - gameshredder (10/19/2014) [-]

I remember the last time this was posted.

The comment section was flooded with people saying, "I'll eat a steak however I goddamn want! You're not the boss of me! How dare you tell me how to eat a steak", and everyone was acting so offended over someone's guide on how to prepare a steak.

#38 to #18 - cann (10/19/2014) [-]

i remember that.

#47 - securityexplain (10/19/2014) [-]

You ******* 'muricans disgust me with this ****** way you treat meat.

You know what you ******* do? You ******* tenderize the meat. Beat the hell out of it a mallet, thats what you ******* do. Then you put it in marinade made of oil, onions and spices at least couple of hours earlier, preferably even night before.

And thats it. Thats all you need to make a ******* good meal. You can add stuff, like mustard and make Lisabon steak, or toss it in oven with beschamel sauce and cheese, or any other of million possible recipes, but marinating and tenderizing is the ******* bare minimum. A non-tenderized and non-marinated meat is like having to be in presence of utterly uneducated, arrogant, spoiled brat: its painful to look at it, let alone have any interaction with it.

#5 - reican (10/18/2014) [-]

I never use "steak sauce" if i want spices i mex them myself because i know what i want, and nobody else know how to make it right. Any true man knows that if you want the best, you make it yourself