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    joke a day 111

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    wcpapier Rank: #17
     
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    An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most.

    "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

    They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.

    He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.

    The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?

    The wife put down her drink and said..."let the old guy dig. I had him buried upside down."
    join list: jokeaday (1042 subs)
    Mention History
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    +627
    Views: 20845 Submitted: 11/10/2017
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    Playing:
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    2 new threads. 1 new replies.
    User avatar#1 - bloodymelon#1 on contentRank#1 
    Reply+59
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    I'm pretty sure gravity will let him know which way is up. You better prepare for your doom lady.
    User avatar#20 to #1 - johnconnorone 
    Reply-2
    (11/11/2017)[-]
    Not when you're surrounded like that. Just like people in avalanches
    User avatar#24 to #20 - blackcomet 
    Reply+1
    (11/11/2017)[-]
    He's in a casket. The casket is filled with dirt.
    User avatar#26 to #20 - darkstone 
    Reply0
    (11/11/2017)[-]
    You do know people have a sense for gravitational direction? You have this fluid in your head wich tells you what is up and what is down. If you were blindfolded and submerged under water your sense for gravitational direction will tell you wether you are swimming down or up.
    User avatar#27 to #26 - johnconnorone 
    Reply+1
    (11/12/2017)[-]
    Yeah I'm a EMT and firefighter.. look up avalanche survival. People are so ****** petty on here.
    User avatar#28 to #27 - darkstone 
    Reply-1
    (11/12/2017)[-]
    Yeah, now I have looked it up and also read several survival stories. Some of them mentions not knowing what's up and what's down, but thats after the avalanche is over and they are still dizzy from being tossed around. After they have calmed down and is not dizzy anymore they know what is up and what is down.
    User avatar#29 to #28 - johnconnorone 
    Reply+1
    (11/12/2017)[-]
    There really isn't much time to come down when you're losing oxygen though
    User avatar#21 to #20 - butterduck 
    Reply0
    (11/11/2017)[-]
    If you spit it'll show you the way
    User avatar#22 to #21 - johnconnorone 
    Reply-1
    (11/11/2017)[-]
    Assuming you have enough room to watch it fall and you have to light to do so
    User avatar#25 to #22 - iNiighTMareZz 
    Reply+1
    (11/11/2017)[-]
    if you spit and it stays on your face, chances are you're facing upwards.
    User avatar#2 - ryuggu 
    Reply+20
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    *wcpapier rolls 111*
    User avatar#4 to #2 - wcpapier#17 on contentRank#17 [OP] 
    Reply+7
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    **wcpapier used "*roll 1, 000-999*"**
    **wcpapier rolls 070**
    User avatar#3 to #2 - bloodymelon#1 on contentRank#1 
    Reply-5
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    Fail
    User avatar#5 to #3 - ryuggu 
    Reply+6
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    what fail, check the title, you monkey
    User avatar#6 to #5 - bloodymelon#1 on contentRank#1 
    Reply-5
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    I thought u were rolling.
    User avatar#7 to #6 - ryuggu 
    Reply+4
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    Well, I guess you FAILED.
    User avatar#8 to #7 - bloodymelon#1 on contentRank#1 
    Reply-4
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    No.
    User avatar#9 to #8 - ryuggu 
    Reply+4
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    Yes.
    User avatar#10 to #9 - bloodymelon#1 on contentRank#1 
    Reply-4
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    .
    User avatar#11 - ninjuh 
    Reply+16
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    **ninjuh used "*roll 1, 000-999*"**
    **ninjuh rolls 123** so we’re all going for 111 now
    #12 to #11 - wcpapier#17 on contentRank#17 [OP] 
    Reply+9
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    i like this roll, its a nice roll
    i like this roll, its a nice roll
    #19 - kgamer#195 on contentRank#195 
    Reply+4
    (11/11/2017)[-]
    What would happen if Bruce Willis had a stroke during sex? He would die hard.  
 made this one today while taking a ****.
    What would happen if Bruce Willis had a stroke during sex? He would die hard.
    made this one today while taking a ****.
    #16 - yourboogieman 
    Reply+2
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    **yourboogieman used "*roll picture*"****yourboogieman rolled image**  
*roll 1, 1-1000000*
    **yourboogieman used "*roll picture*"**
    **yourboogieman rolled image**
    *roll 1, 1-1000000*
    #17 to #16 - yourboogieman 
    Reply+1
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    **yourboogieman used "*roll picture*"****yourboogieman rolled image** ****** up number roll and brony image roll, i deserve every last ******* downthumb i get.
    **yourboogieman used "*roll picture*"**
    **yourboogieman rolled image** ****** up number roll and brony image roll, i deserve every last ******* downthumb i get.
    #13 - edisontrent 
    Reply+2
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    **edisontrent used "*roll picture*"****edisontrent rolled image***roll 1, 1-999*
    **edisontrent used "*roll picture*"**
    **edisontrent rolled image***roll 1, 1-999*
    User avatar#14 - edisontrent 
    Reply+1
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    **edisontrent used "*roll 1, 001-999*"**
    **edisontrent rolls 288**
    #23 - anon id: b84449e6 
    Reply0
    (11/11/2017)[-]
    Shamelessly stolen from the ASCII art reward page of Dwarf Fortress:

    The dwarves buried Administrator Zarhan face down, so that when evil spirits animated his soulless corpse, as surely they would, he would dig straight down into the Underworld and away from the land of the living. For a season after, the fortress was beset by a horrible howling that filled the corridors. The dwarves of the fortress were driven to near madness. Eventually the sounds faded.
    It was not long after that a young engraver found a floor hatch, which had not been there the previous night. He opened the hatch and put his head through. Phantom arms grabbed him and pulled him inside.
    "You fools didn't think I'd forget up from down did you?" hissed the ghost of Zarhan.
    User avatar#18 - twoeyedcyclops 
    Reply0
    (11/10/2017)[-]
    My music teacher told me that one way back in the day, always made me chuckle. Told me that one and one about a old couple at mcdonalds
     
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