It's alright, I speak Irish.. . Atilt I was in , I 'd done a gig and! was outside having a smoke, a couple of friends around and this drunk Irish dude, short, w It's alright I speak Irish Atilt was in 'd done a gig and! outside having smoke couple of friends around and this drunk dude short w
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It's alright, I speak Irish.

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Atilt
I was in , I 'd done a gig and!
was outside having a smoke, a
couple of friends around and this
drunk Irish dude, short, walks right
passed as, freezes and walks right
up to me and says...
JEEZ YOU' RE A BIG,
CUNT!
And my friends started getting piss y
titre "Hey hey hatr'' f) int like...
No, no, relax. it' s alright.
I speak Irish.
What he is trying to say is that
interesting person, l 3 - '."
maybe we could be friends'
So, maid "How you tiwtin'
you drunk paddy bastard?"
And he went...
...
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Views: 79857 Submitted: 10/05/2013
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asd
User avatar #173 - personone
Reply -10 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [+] (2 children)
stickied by kingxddd
**personone rolls 09,499**
#178 to #173 - anon id: 9bfef5fd
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
**anonymous rolls 09,592**
#190 to #173 - anon id: d8915638
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/31/2014) [-]
so far, yet not at all close
User avatar #7 - mehten
Reply +164 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
**mehten rolled user attextvi **

How you doin' you drunk paddy bastard?
User avatar #136 to #7 - leal
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Why does this have so many thumbs
User avatar #181 to #136 - attextvi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I'm wondering that myself.
User avatar #188 to #181 - arsenymous
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
This user, I like him!
#183 to #181 - leal
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Your text looks like vomit on my screen, I hope it's not permanent.
#184 to #183 - attextvi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Not at all.
User avatar #186 to #184 - leal
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
gewd
User avatar #8 to #7 - attextvi
Reply +309 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
How did you know I was drinking?
User avatar #40 to #8 - oishiine
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Ohboyherewego
User avatar #42 to #40 - attextvi
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I don't understand.
User avatar #43 to #42 - oishiine
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Shh bby
User avatar #68 to #8 - kanpai
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
that's my secret captain, i'm always drinking
User avatar #128 to #68 - dishesaredone
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
hulk reference
#21 to #8 - othymer
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
You are Irish it is self explanatory and expected. I'm pretty sure we Irish people have to maintain an alcohol blood level at all times.
User avatar #23 to #21 - thesinful
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Usually we're born with a BAC of 0.87
#24 to #23 - othymer
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
You mean an ABC not a BAC. A BAC is a Blood Alcohol Content, whereas an ABC is Alcohol Blood Content. A BAC assumes the majority of the mixture is blood and the deviation is alcohol, it is the opposite in us Irishmen. And really don't low ball it at least a BAC of 14.3 or an ABC of 85.7.
User avatar #25 to #24 - thesinful
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Can't have too much blood in our alcohol stream?
#26 to #25 - othymer
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Yup you might even be pulled over for driving while sober.
#27 - nighthawxx
Reply +178 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
saved
#65 to #27 - poniesareghey
Reply -15 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
gaiz pekmen
#125 to #65 - rdibp
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#2 - timerce
Reply +109 123456789123345869
(10/05/2013) [-]
who is this comedian? ive seen a couple posts of his recently and would love to check him out if you know what i mean wink wink nudge nudge ok not really but i figured i would make the joke before someone else did so i win
#124 to #2 - timerce
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
lol out of all the great (at least imo) jokes ive made the comment that gets the most thumbs is asking who a comedian is? go figure
#3 to #2 - ikilledbambismum
Reply +131 123456789123345869
(10/05/2013) [-]
Reginald D Hunter my good sir or madam
User avatar #10 to #3 - vladhellsing
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
The 'D' stands for 'Delicious'.
#19 to #10 - jellyneau
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #11 to #10 - cantfindausername
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I thought the D was silent.
User avatar #13 to #11 - vladhellsing
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
It was a reference to this:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpTnwzt9kUc
#4 to #3 - timerce
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/05/2013) [-]
gracias compadre have a thumb
#117 to #3 - madmads
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
The D stands for delicious
User avatar #45 to #3 - sanmareno
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
the D stands for "Delicious"
User avatar #15 to #3 - myaccountisnew
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
He has the name of a proper English gentleman. I think I'll check out his stuff.
User avatar #17 to #15 - zakaizer
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Even though he be American, from the Deep South, specifically .
User avatar #18 to #17 - myaccountisnew
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I didn't say I thought he was English, just that his name sounded English.
User avatar #28 - euphoricdorian
Reply +80 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
That moment when im Irish and went to the doctors only to find I have to much blood in my alcohol system.
#29 - TheFixer
Reply +65 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
User avatar #102 to #29 - milthyfoustache
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
That's English not Irish you cheeky fukin kunt m8
User avatar #93 to #29 - megatheman
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Jesus christ seals are so stupid and useless i want 500 of them.
User avatar #37 to #29 - mlpokeyuan
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
It looks like a hot pocket
#39 to #37 - EnergizierAnon
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
User avatar #98 to #39 - simonjiha
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
diarheea pocket
User avatar #9 - sirhyden
Reply +54 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I can gaurentee the Irish youth said "Jasus, youre a big maen lookin cunt!" That's how me or anyone I'd know would say it....
#33 to #9 - Dwarf
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #53 to #9 - willisteal
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I can confirm this! Source: Irish
#60 to #9 - anon id: e987c691
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Ah sure jaysus
User avatar #189 to #60 - sirhyden
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/07/2013) [-]
bid the holey mother of jayus.....
User avatar #59 to #9 - DremoraValkynaz
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
If you're from the Cork region, throw a few "like"s around and it'll sound spot on, like.
#58 to #9 - tazzerz
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Sounds about right.
User avatar #47 - supamonkey
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Reginald D Hunter is best black comedian, followed by:
Dave Chappelle,
Eddie Murphy,
Stephen K Amos,
Chris Rock.
#48 to #47 - reto
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
obviously you've never heard of Stephen K Amos
User avatar #49 to #48 - supamonkey
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Oh no, i have, but i've seen less of his stuff
#50 to #49 - reto
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
try watching him, he's probably my favourite black comedian, his live at the apollo performance was fantastic
User avatar #51 to #50 - supamonkey
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
will try to find some
User avatar #88 to #51 - Zailen
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I prefer cosby over all of them to be honest. But thats personal preference. I prefer cleaner humor xD
User avatar #100 to #47 - christheace
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Donald Glover is not on that list? D:
User avatar #101 to #47 - darthblam
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Key and Peele are pretty damn funny duo..
User avatar #52 to #47 - kureizikitsune
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Do not forget Arnez J and Bruce Bruce.
User avatar #55 to #52 - supamonkey
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
These are the only ones I've seen, Chris Rock is lowest because I don't really like his style of comedy i.e; ranting about the differences between white people and black people, hence my preference for Reg, he does "normal" stand-up stuff.
User avatar #56 to #55 - supamonkey
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Probably why in my opinion, the best female comics do stuff other than "I'm a woman, these are some funny reasons why my life is hard and different to that of men".
#54 to #47 - josieabby
Reply +21 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I really like Kevin Hart.  And if you go way back...Richard Pryor.  (His older stuff is the best.)
I really like Kevin Hart. And if you go way back...Richard Pryor. (His older stuff is the best.)
#103 to #54 - dagreatmax
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Kevin hart thread
Kevin hart thread
User avatar #57 to #54 - supamonkey
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Thanks for recommendation.
User avatar #61 to #57 - meestaa
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Go watch Aries Spears' All Star Comedy Jam, it's one of the funniest stand up routines I've ever seen in my life.



here's a link because i'm a nice guy
Aries Spears All Star Comedy Jam  full sketch
User avatar #67 to #61 - supamonkey
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Damn, that's some funny ****, plus dem impressions are sick.
#62 - josieabby
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
What I thought of when I read "Hey Hey Hey."
What I thought of when I read "Hey Hey Hey."
User avatar #69 - Loppytaffy
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Does he know that Ireland does actually have a language? Same as Scotland and Wales?
He coudl have said "jeez tá tú mór, cunt chiallaíonn lorg"
User avatar #83 to #69 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I heard they speak english way more than Gaelic in Ireland.
User avatar #86 to #83 - Loppytaffy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
That's because of the English. It's why English is spoken way more than Welsh or Scottish Gaelic, too.
Same reason English is very Latin and Germanic.
User avatar #87 to #86 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I kinda want to learn Gaelic just so I can talk and have no one understand me, since no one apparently speaks it over here in the states.
User avatar #89 to #87 - Loppytaffy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
It would be the same with any language.
Learn Welsh; people will think you're just making up words; Os ydych yn meddwl fy mod yn cellwair, rydych yn camgymryd enfawr ar ei ôl
User avatar #90 to #89 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Hey, are you ok? Looks like you had a seizure on the keyboard.
I know that's what the language looks like, I'm trying to be funny.
User avatar #92 to #90 - Loppytaffy
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
uɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ buıuɹɐǝן ʎɹʇ
User avatar #107 to #69 - peggscott
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I can understand a small amount of Gaelic, but Welsh... That **** goes right over me!!

It's rather sad the amount of Scots that don't know Gaelic though, I think it should be like the Republic where they are trying to bring it back... Really is a dying language...
User avatar #109 to #107 - Loppytaffy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
Irish and Scottish Gaelic are different.
User avatar #177 to #109 - peggscott
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
I know, I go to college with an Irishman who speaks Irish Gaelic and I know a very small amount of Scots... Not enough to have a meaningful conversation with mind you, but they aren't miles apart from each other in similarity I don't think...
User avatar #180 to #177 - Loppytaffy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
It's okay, I like to say that I know languages, in truth I know a few meaningful lines in lots of languages, but cannot hold a conversation.
#71 to #69 - acerose
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
My favorite part of that is that cunt remains untranslated.
User avatar #72 to #71 - Loppytaffy
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
A cunt is a cunt no matter where he is in the world.
User avatar #22 - allamericandude
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(10/06/2013) [-]
The best part: "Now he's my manager."