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If I were a female...

ct E
Ami
All women everywhere should start
responding to guys hitting an us with
generic RPG NPC lines like "I hear the king
has a new advisor?'
Grumman:
I love thas
you come here ?"
DWARVEN (CYMA/ WTS"
hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I' M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"
...
+1210
Views: 35711
Favorited: 70
Submitted: 11/24/2015
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[ 141 comments ]
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61 comments displayed.
Reply
+195
User avatar #25 - sealcubclubbinclub (11/25/2015) [-]
"Hey baby, like what you see?"

"MAN APPROACHES WITH HIS WEAPON DRAWN, GUARD MIGHT GET NERVOUS"
Reply
+19
#47 to #25 - crutos (11/25/2015) [-]
underrated post
Reply
+297
User avatar #3 - sirboneless (11/25/2015) [-]
"Hey, I lost my number, can I have yours?"

"Ad Victoriam, brother."
Reply
+11
User avatar #12 to #4 - polarpulse ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
Someone please make this better i don't wanna do it myself
Reply
+103
#13 to #12 - trollmetoday (11/25/2015) [-]
Ad Victoriam.
Reply
+5
User avatar #26 to #13 - sirboneless (11/25/2015) [-]
I actually started to make this, but couldn't be bothered halfway through.

Also I only have MS Paint as my editing tool...
Reply
+2
User avatar #113 to #13 - Mortuus (11/25/2015) [-]
I would kill my first-born for this man.
Reply
+1
User avatar #140 to #113 - jackthexiv ONLINE (11/26/2015) [-]
i feel like the joke was lost on a lot of people, nevertheless, Ad victoriam brother
Reply
0
User avatar #45 to #12 - tarabostes (11/25/2015) [-]
lazy hoe
Reply
+3
User avatar #106 to #4 - phantomonkey (11/25/2015) [-]
He shouldn't have been wearing such a sweet-ass coat if he didn't want me to kill him.
Reply
+181
#20 - zeroqp (11/25/2015) [-]
"Hey baby, I'm new in town-"

"Another wanderer, here to lick my father's boots. Good job."
Reply
0
#127 to #20 - spartantoaster (11/25/2015) [-]
Kill her! she's not a child who can get away with that.
Reply
+11
User avatar #93 to #20 - victhree (11/25/2015) [-]
Is it socially acceptable to rip off some chick's head in the middle of a party?
Reply
+46
#38 to #20 - anon (11/25/2015) [-]
then let your bodyguard execute her
Reply
+256
#2 - derriculous (11/24/2015) [-]
I'm sorry did I miss a point in time when they didn't?

"OMG did you see what denise was wearing?"

"Do I look fat in this?"

"You know, it's all men's fault I can't have everything I want"
Reply
+178
#5 to #2 - anon (11/25/2015) [-]
I know right?

"Do you get to the cloud district often?"

Bitch I just worked all day, how about some alone time?
Reply
+71
#1 - saladiskilling ONLINE (11/24/2015) [-]
That might make conversations with a lot of girls more interesting. I fully endorse this.
Reply
+185
User avatar #9 - assrocket (11/25/2015) [-]
"Ayy bby..."
"Did you see those warriors from Hammerfell? They've got curved swords."
"Uh. Y-you know what e-else is curved?"
"CURVED. SWORDS."
"Y-you too."
Reply
+89
User avatar #6 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
If a girl ever just yells Enchantment in my face I'll just get as hard as Shale and ask her if she wants to invoke the Dark Ritual.

Reply
0
User avatar #116 to #6 - protomanrulezz ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
god dammit now I need to go play Origins... again... I have an obsession
Reply
0
User avatar #120 to #116 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
No issue with that.
Reply
0
User avatar #121 to #120 - protomanrulezz ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
this will be number 20
Reply
0
User avatar #122 to #121 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
Yeah, same.
Reply
0
User avatar #125 to #122 - protomanrulezz ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
pick my character
specializations team etc?
Reply
0
User avatar #126 to #125 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
Play a rogue, nothing but melee DPS in your party.
Reply
0
User avatar #132 to #126 - protomanrulezz ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
Can I use a mage as an arcane enchanter?
Reply
0
User avatar #133 to #132 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
No because most of their damage comes from magic enchantment. And you means Arcane Warrior.
Reply
0
User avatar #134 to #133 - protomanrulezz ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
I mixed Knight Enchanter from Inquisition with Arcane Warrior
Reply
0
User avatar #135 to #134 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
I didn't get too far into Inquisistion. I should.
Reply
0
User avatar #136 to #135 - protomanrulezz ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
Inquisition is not bad, but its not origins.
I did not like 2.
Reply
0
User avatar #137 to #136 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
I liked Origins, enjoyed the combat system in 2(Story could've used work but it was a decent game in of itself) and as I said, only had like 2 or 3 hours into Inquisistion.
Reply
0
User avatar #139 to #137 - protomanrulezz ONLINE (11/26/2015) [-]
I liked Hawke as a character, and some of his companions (Gideon Emery's voice makes me cream my jeans). But man, the campaign was just really bad, and the repeating maps was the worst **** ever.
Reply
+1
#95 to #6 - Kingsly ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
In an old D&D campaign we had a young autistic boy who shouted enchantment all the time. I can't help but think of that.
Reply
+4
User avatar #96 to #95 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
That's exactly what Sandal is. Only he's a Dwarf kid not human.
Reply
0
#101 to #96 - Kingsly ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
I now wonder if my DM stole the character and swapped the race.
Reply
0
User avatar #102 to #101 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
How long ago was it? Sandal appeared in Dragon Age Origins.
Reply
0
#103 to #102 - Kingsly ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
Like 4 years? IDK the DA timeline, I haven't played any of the games.
Reply
0
User avatar #104 to #103 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
It's quite possible that he took the character and based it on Sandal then.
Reply
0
#105 to #104 - Kingsly ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
This is why we can't have nice things.
Reply
+18
User avatar #8 to #6 - Furubatsu (11/25/2015) [-]
Just open up with a Dragon Age flirt

"Heyy baby, can I explore your deep roads"?
"Want this Dread Wolf to take you to bed"?
"Ever licked a lamppost in winter"?

I'm....I'm not good at flirting....
Reply
+5
User avatar #10 to #8 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
Same. I think the closest I've came is a girl had a huge thing for Arthas so I told her Frostmourne Hungers. Referring of course to the obvious. My cock
Reply
0
User avatar #66 to #10 - YllekNayr (11/25/2015) [-]
hahahahahahaaa
Reply
+33
#16 - vladhellsing (11/25/2015) [-]
"Get out of here, stalker."
Reply
+48
#11 - komozu (11/25/2015) [-]
Click to show spoiler
"hey baby how you doin"
"Heard they're reforming the dawnguard, vampire hunters or something. might join up my self."
Reply
+13
User avatar #86 - brobyddark ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
"Hey, did you sit on sugar cause you've got a-"

"Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter"

"Hey, baby I couldn't help but notice you-"

"What're you lookin' at, smoothskin?"

"I was wondering if I could by you a dri-"

"GREAT. YOU START RUNNING SO I CAN STAB YOU IN THE BACK."
Reply
+12
User avatar #14 - Ruspanic (11/25/2015) [-]
psst I know who you are. Hail Sithis.
Reply
-1
User avatar #57 to #14 - enslavedyouth (11/25/2015) [-]
But Sithis isn't here now, so hail Malzahar.
Reply
+18
#56 - thunderxcatsxhoooo (11/25/2015) [-]
She wont find it funny when I scream Skyrim belongs to the Nords and cut her head off.
Reply
+8
User avatar #59 - priestoftheoldones (11/25/2015) [-]
Or Starcraft alerts.

"Hey girl-"

"YOUR PROBES ARE UNDER ATTACK,"

"What"

"WE REQUIRE MORE VESPENE GAS,"
Reply
+16
#18 - anon (11/25/2015) [-]
I don't know, man, some girls are not lesbos, so they might actually want to be hit on sometimes.
Reply
+2
User avatar #61 to #18 - friedpotato (11/25/2015) [-]
Meh.
Reply
+7
#36 - djequalizee (11/25/2015) [-]
"I'm a sword man myself"
Reply
+7
#17 - tsuyu (11/25/2015) [-]
Your momma sucks dwarf cock!
Reply
0
User avatar #22 to #17 - notsohappygamer (11/25/2015) [-]
*cosh
Reply
+1
User avatar #83 to #17 - severepwner ONLINE (11/25/2015) [-]
Awww yea Witcher!

*loudly hocks lougie.*
Reply
+5
#91 - anon (11/25/2015) [-]
DWARVEN CRAFTS, FINE DWARVEN CRAFTS, STRAIGHT FROM ORZAMMAR
Reply
+5
User avatar #77 - Kadzait (11/25/2015) [-]
"Hey, what's up?"
"Profligates like you belong on a cross"
"Oh... y.. you too"
Reply
+4
User avatar #33 - therealguysips (11/25/2015) [-]
"Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"For the Horde! Lok'tar Ogar! BLOOD AND THUNDER!"
Reply
+4
#15 - adasha (11/25/2015) [-]
Nuclear launch detected.
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