I'd read that. . I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the
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I'd read that

I wish there were necklaces
given to us at birth that were
half of a unique shape and your
soulmate wore the other half
and they got warmer the closer
together you were and colder
the further away we were
you could gee on this journey
when yeu’ re ready to find your
other half so that Wu could be
spared all the pain and
heartbreak of being played with
by those who don' t take dating
as seriously as you do
you should write a book
...
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Views: 51015
Favorited: 249
Submitted: 11/18/2013
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Comments(309):

[ 309 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#12 - sinery (11/18/2013) [-]
... Finds a grave.
#277 to #12 - anon (11/19/2013) [-]
...She just happens to be 11
#308 to #12 - jalthelas (11/19/2013) [-]
This truly does kill the man.
User avatar #138 to #12 - crazehtoast (11/19/2013) [-]
Could be part of the book.
Soulmate leads to a grave.
#19 to #12 - rgmayhem (11/18/2013) [-]
Well, I'm saddened now...
#25 to #12 - taurusguy (11/18/2013) [-]
Never too late to find your new inner fetish.
#26 to #25 - taurusguy (11/18/2013) [-]
or sacrifice a virgin to satan and resurrect your other half, either way works
#28 to #12 - sinery (11/18/2013) [-]
These replies.
#223 to #28 - hillbillypowpow (11/19/2013) [-]
Now's my chance to post antics pictures.
#23 to #12 - imgoingtorapeyou (11/18/2013) [-]
... Owns a shovel
#69 to #23 - artyomthebadass (11/18/2013) [-]
...Necklace will warm them up
#261 to #23 - bleeduntildeath (11/19/2013) [-]
*finds michael jackson*
+3
#228 to #23 - utarefson has deleted their comment [-]
#31 - AlexPaincakes (11/18/2013) [-]
MFW I hold my necklace
#206 to #31 - anon (11/19/2013) [-]
...and then you realized the necklace was anal beads.
User avatar #7 - moshimoshi (11/18/2013) [-]
And then it turns out that your soulmate is a midget eskimo.

Anyway, I'll add some tips here if someone is bothered by being alone.

Partners are like lost keys. You find them when you aren't looking, and the more desperate you are the more they hide from you.

Clubs and pubs are the worst place to look for your future spouse.

If you are too picky about looks you don't deserve a good partner, and that's just as well because you'll only find skanks/jocks and one night stands.

Never be jealous you dumb **** . If he/she wants to go to the bahamas for a week with her friends you just say "have fun!"

Confidence is the key attribute to attract women. Turning off your computer and going out in the real world is the next best. They care much less about looks, muscles and penis size than you think.

Never underestimate the dog trick. Plus, getting a dog will in itself get you a loving companion that's always happy to see you (and gets you up off your ass and out in the fresh air).
User avatar #29 to #7 - timmity (11/18/2013) [-]
size and nationality doesent ******* matter, its personality for soulmating, ohysical appearance for.. physical mating
#66 to #7 - sparkysparkybooman (11/18/2013) [-]
"Partners are like lost keys. You find them when you aren't looking, and the more desperate you are the more they hide from you."
Is pretty bad advice. Especially for introverts.
User avatar #128 to #66 - xchewsifferx (11/18/2013) [-]
I wouldn't say it's bad advice, it's just not applicable to everyone.

I mean you have to kind of agree that if you're so worried about being with someone, you might put yourself in a bad relationship that you otherwise would have kept yourself out of
User avatar #306 to #128 - moshimoshi (11/19/2013) [-]
Yes... also the thing i call the "desperadar". I have a friend who is good looking, nice and friendly in every way, has money, has a nice big house with pool and stuff. He's also 41 years old and for the last 20 years he's been DESPERATE for a girlfriend. Or well, OK he's had 3 relationships. All short . He's a bit tiresome and can talk about the same thing for days, but I swear it's the girls desperadar that makes him single. He just tries too hard and they feel it at once.
#98 to #7 - unholyjebus (11/18/2013) [-]
Didn't say anything I haven't heard before except for the lost key example, which I haven't heard of due to it being terrible advice. If people listened to that, then all it would mean is that they are less likely to approach a person that they like.
User avatar #117 to #98 - commontroll (11/18/2013) [-]
He means if you're just going everywhere looking for a spouse. Go and look for a friend instead, but be confident that it could become more. When you accept yourself and you're okay with being alone (in a healthy way) then that's when you're probably most ready for a serious relationship.
#221 to #7 - dantastic (11/19/2013) [-]
"getting off your ass" huh?

please, oh wise one. tell me where to start looking.
#20 to #7 - rgmayhem (11/18/2013) [-]
Your words are gold, and I respect you for them...
(Pic relevant b/c of the thumbs up...)
#53 to #20 - anon (11/18/2013) [-]
Who you gonna call for advice?
GHOST NAPPA!
User avatar #24 to #7 - miklthepikl (11/18/2013) [-]
I agree with everything except for the 'dont be jealous clause'. tried that **** twice and it backfired hard, ruining both relationships. Instead, i'd say dont be overbearing, just use desecration. Like, if its for a week in the bahamas with her family, w/e, but if its a week in the bahamas with her friends to go party, be careful and lay down some ground rules
User avatar #193 to #7 - deafmagnets (11/19/2013) [-]
I like this but I'm not sure about the jealous one... My uncle and aunt married for 23 years recently split up because he found out she was cheating on him. She always went to her mom's in their beach house, but come to find out she went else where and was cheating on him... My cousin actually may not be his, he doesn't want to get a test done because he say's she is his and he'll never stop doubting that...
User avatar #219 to #193 - nighkey (11/19/2013) [-]
She would have cheated anyway, more than likely. Just some place else if not there. When married, guy or girl, if you really do love the person you are with, you could be locked up with a nude person of your preferred gender who is a perfect 10/10 and refuse there advances. It's a weird feeling to suddenly not feel sexually attracted to anyone else, for it would hurt you do break the bond you have with a partner. That doesn't mean you don't find other people beautiful or attractive, or don't fap to desirable content, but in real life you just stop doing more than flirting at the most when you are actually happily married.
User avatar #305 to #193 - moshimoshi (11/19/2013) [-]
Thata always the risk, isn't it? But being the tiniest bit jealous RUINS your relationship. I've been with my wife for 15 years, and if she's cheating on me she's extremely discreet, and i''ve never come close to cheating on HER. Sometimes I go hunting away from her for a month at a time, and worriyng about her would ruin the fun completely. Of course, if I walked in on her banging another dude (if she was banging another chick I'd ask to join in like any normal guy), violence would happen. But it's stupid and pointless to worry about it in advance.
User avatar #39 to #7 - shuckmywang ONLINE (11/18/2013) [-]
i know im gonna get thumbed down for this but
honestly, while looks arent the most important thing, it is important to have a healthy level of physical attraction. girls will not sleep with somebody they are attracted to.
bottom line, keep yourself decently groomed, and it wont be a problem. somebody will find you attractive. unless youre an ugly ****** . then youre just SOL
User avatar #110 to #7 - commontroll (11/18/2013) [-]
All of this. All my life I looked for a relationship, it wasn't until I truly stopped looking for one that I met a girl who took my plans for the future and tossed them in the air (in a good way) and gave me a reason to be adventurous again.

Of course, she also just broke up with me a few weeks ago after dating almost a year, so take that with a grain of salt. Regardless, there's no such thing as a soul mate, you have some who are more compatible than others, and you have to find them. If they leave, then you'll eventually find somebody who won't, and they're that much better because of that.
User avatar #215 to #7 - nighkey (11/19/2013) [-]
I am a married woman. I can vouch this is 100% true, every bit of it.

Unfortunately I met my soul mate on World of Warcraft. But I only said hi because of his unique pet. (The dog trick..) Back in that day, you had to feed your pets on wow, so it made him stop questing to feed the pet, and we ran into eachother in 'town.' Ended up skinny dipping in blood hoof lake and sleeping together in the inn about the time the sun was coming up. The server time matched real time, the sun really was coming up.
User avatar #247 to #215 - chezburgadominator (11/19/2013) [-]
That's so sweet.
User avatar #285 to #215 - stripey (11/19/2013) [-]
that's a nice story
#10 to #7 - Jowi (11/18/2013) [-]
Some of these are terrible advice.
User avatar #11 to #10 - moshimoshi (11/18/2013) [-]
If you say so. I understand it's quite different in countries with "date culture" but I meant every word. I could also add that when you get to 30-35 it's a mans world and the chicks that married the "cool" arseholes at 20 are available in droves.
#118 - thechosentroll (11/18/2013) [-]
And then you finally get together, share that long expected kiss and the necklaces get so hot that they burn through your necks and decapitate you.

The end.
#196 to #118 - anon (11/19/2013) [-]
I enjoy your use of Fran.
I enjoy your use of Fran.
#222 to #118 - anon (11/19/2013) [-]
Sounds like someone has some relationship issues.
#290 to #118 - coupdegrace (11/19/2013) [-]
you should write a book.
#133 to #118 - ofalo (11/19/2013) [-]
thank god i wasnt the only one thinking along those lines
#121 - anon (11/18/2013) [-]
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #59 at who is the enemy? ** Community's FW their soul mate is a fat chick.
User avatar #214 to #121 - lamarisagoodname (11/19/2013) [-]
flawless
#166 to #121 - classygentleman (11/19/2013) [-]
Mfw I am into chubby chicks.
User avatar #124 to #121 - fukinitech (11/18/2013) [-]
nice role
#125 to #121 - onlyonesnoopy (11/18/2013) [-]
Fantastic roll!
Fantastic roll!
#77 - mrfourtysevenman (11/18/2013) [-]
BUT WHUT IF SHES UGLEY
User avatar #86 to #77 - deadmansdope (11/18/2013) [-]
You got a gun?
User avatar #89 to #86 - mrfourtysevenman (11/18/2013) [-]
why yes i have four actually.
.22
mosin
or shotguns?
User avatar #91 to #89 - deadmansdope (11/18/2013) [-]
I don't even know where I was going with this...
User avatar #92 to #91 - mrfourtysevenman (11/18/2013) [-]
lets go to the range mebruddah!
User avatar #113 to #77 - martycamp (11/18/2013) [-]
You give her a paper bag
User avatar #157 to #77 - timmity (11/19/2013) [-]
it says soulmate not *********
User avatar #156 to #77 - antisocialtwilight (11/19/2013) [-]
Then she likely wouldn't be your soulmate. In a soulmate, physical attraction can be equally as important as personality. Simple as that.
#198 to #77 - anon (11/19/2013) [-]
Then quit being a bitch and actually love someone you sellout.
User avatar #80 to #77 - leafonthewind (11/18/2013) [-]
maybe she has a hotter sister

inb4 mrs fourty eight woman
#84 to #80 - mrfourtysevenman (11/18/2013) [-]
but will i ever find my true love?...
User avatar #52 - exceeding (11/18/2013) [-]
**exceeding rolled user mimithedragonborn ** this glorious bastard is my soulmate and spirit animal
#296 to #54 - thebiggestfail (11/19/2013) [-]
I LOVE IT
User avatar #297 to #296 - mimithedragonborn (11/19/2013) [-]
I NOTICED THAT LOTS OF PEOPLE ALSO LOVE IT.
THANK YOU.
I LOVE MY .GIF COLLECTION AS WELL.
#298 to #297 - thebiggestfail (11/19/2013) [-]
I presume you'd seen that TomSka video right?
User avatar #299 to #298 - mimithedragonborn (11/19/2013) [-]
Nope.
I've been trying to find the source.

Which video is it?
#300 to #299 - thebiggestfail (11/19/2013) [-]
Coming Out by TomSka. Such a FANTASTIC video
User avatar #301 to #300 - mimithedragonborn (11/19/2013) [-]
Ah.
Merci, amico.
#302 to #301 - thebiggestfail (11/19/2013) [-]
Of course!
#311 to #54 - anon (11/19/2013) [-]
sorry i had to link this here
i couldn't just post it.... on your profile... being anon and all. i'm just a little birdy here to show you something you may want to see....
www.funnyjunk.com/user/shis.no/3341#3341
i don't know any of you but i just looked into your situation and it seems like this is an appropriate thing to see...
User avatar #312 to #311 - mimithedragonborn (11/19/2013) [-]
Who are you?
I'm not going to read that. That's a ******* private conversation between two of my friends, who I respect.
God I hate it when people do this.
User avatar #1 - hoponthefeelstrain (11/18/2013) [-]
Heartbreak is half the reason we enjoy finding our soulmate so much. What if you're ready and they aren't?
User avatar #2 to #1 - mrsgooser (11/18/2013) [-]
Won't know until the sequel
User avatar #3 to #2 - hoponthefeelstrain (11/18/2013) [-]
I bet someone will fall in love with someone who's piece doesn't fit theirs.
#64 - anon (11/18/2013) [-]
There's a movie like this....it's on Netflix. It's called Timer. These people have these clocks installed onto their wrist and it counts down the exact moment you meet your soulmate
User avatar #119 to #64 - commontroll (11/18/2013) [-]
Oh yeah, I still need to finish watching that.
User avatar #212 to #64 - ugoboom ONLINE (11/19/2013) [-]
Is it any good?
User avatar #234 to #212 - commontroll (11/19/2013) [-]
From what I saw, I enjoyed it. Still need to finish it though.
User avatar #278 to #64 - mondominiman (11/19/2013) [-]
I saw one where they have clocks on thier hands and it counts down how much hours/minutes they have until they die. You can give life shaking hands or something.
User avatar #106 - BraindeadBuddha (11/18/2013) [-]
Imagine losing that necklace
User avatar #218 to #106 - spceinvdr (11/19/2013) [-]
I would lose the necklace. Maybe I would throw it away on purpose. I don't know.
User avatar #135 to #106 - Nihatclodra (11/19/2013) [-]
Prostitutes.
#67 - xxitzchubbsxx (11/18/2013) [-]
Any one else get the impression of some 17 year old chick who bounces from guy to guy after her relationships fail and then wonders why guys are all the useless and the same?
#289 to #67 - anon (11/19/2013) [-]
It was taken from tumblr, so that's kind of implied.
User avatar #111 to #67 - thechosentroll (11/18/2013) [-]
**** , I was gonna say the same thing. Good call.
User avatar #73 to #67 - brucekillah (11/18/2013) [-]
yepp
#75 to #73 - xxitzchubbsxx (11/18/2013) [-]
Sweet not just me then friend
User avatar #139 - fyaq (11/19/2013) [-]
What if she turns out ugly
or fat
or worse....
black
0
#231 to #139 - utarefson has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #295 to #139 - errdayimfjing (11/19/2013) [-]
hahahahhahaa first thing that actually made me laugh out loud in a while.
#140 to #139 - flufflepuff (11/19/2013) [-]
if she is any of those things, you'd probably be okay with it.
seeing as how they'd be the best possible match for you.

if you're a shallow asshole with no soul, she will be too. everything works!
User avatar #141 to #140 - aldheim (11/19/2013) [-]
But... black?
#233 to #140 - fyaq (11/19/2013) [-]
its a joke, not a dick.
So don't take it so hard.
#250 to #233 - flufflepuff (11/19/2013) [-]
why would you take a soft dick?
#93 - wyattgc (11/18/2013) [-]
With my luck I'd get a fat chick.
#95 to #93 - xsasuke (11/18/2013) [-]
doesn't matter if it your soulmate, she surely has a  VERY  big heart!
doesn't matter if it your soulmate, she surely has a VERY big heart!
#97 to #95 - wyattgc (11/18/2013) [-]
I'd rather die alone!
#99 to #97 - xsasuke (11/18/2013) [-]
CAN YOU RESIST THIS!?
CAN YOU RESIST THIS!?
#120 to #102 - pwnmissilereborn **User deleted account** (11/18/2013) [-]
Dude, throw the necklace away, she won't be able to find you.

Or just walk at a moderately fast pace. She'll get tired eventually, as long as you don't let her tackle you and pin you down.
#105 to #102 - xsasuke (11/18/2013) [-]
I knew you would like her! Btw, she is coming for you
I knew you would like her! Btw, she is coming for you
#131 to #105 - lolbots (11/18/2013) [-]
RUN ALL YOU WANT BABY IMMA GET DAT BOOTY!
User avatar #272 - tmbg (11/19/2013) [-]
and when your other half dies, the necklace gets so cold it kills you.


#2deep4u
#217 - CaptainKill (11/19/2013) [-]
tfw my girlfriend lives in Poland and I live in the USA. I'd be freezing all the time.
tfw my girlfriend lives in Poland and I live in the USA. I'd be freezing all the time.
User avatar #224 to #217 - kievaughnb (11/19/2013) [-]
Your arm must be really long.
#227 to #224 - CaptainKill (11/19/2013) [-]
I probably should have inb4'd that.
I probably should have inb4'd that.
#59 - pokimone (11/18/2013) [-]
Yeah, I'd love a book that was one, giant, run-on sentence.
User avatar #61 to #59 - Pein (11/18/2013) [-]
Still would be better written than Twilight.
User avatar #63 to #61 - pokimone (11/18/2013) [-]
This comment is a better book than Twilight.
User avatar #85 to #63 - ribbedandstudded (11/18/2013) [-]
but it's not a book...
User avatar #310 to #85 - pokimone (11/19/2013) [-]
Exactly.
#115 - sirbutterballs (11/18/2013) [-]
**sirbutterballs rolled a random image posted in comment #495267 at Ponyville ** my soulmate.
#46 - alexanderjones (11/18/2013) [-]
I guess the gingers get ****** over on this deal then don't they?
#62 - jetech (11/18/2013) [-]
if you didnt ever experience heartbreak than how would you know what love truly is
User avatar #37 - davisdamen (11/18/2013) [-]
so who here knows they would would lose theirs, show of hands?
*hand*
User avatar #41 to #37 - truekiller (11/18/2013) [-]
*penis*
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