I Hate Everyone. Don't know if repost. I found it, and wanted to share it. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was a crime, sue me. So, Battletoads seems like a fun gam hnng it hurts so Good
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#273 - Orc
Reply -11
(06/15/2014) [+] (61 replies)
stickied by terriblytreble
**Orc rolled image** Since you listed everybody you hated in the title, I decided that I want to post an updated list of all the people I hate.

abstractpink, alecbaldwinning, apex, armsdealer, beccakingx, bonanthecarbarian, breastestvillainy, capslockrage, chazta, chimpaflimp, *************, decimatorthebeat, dertroll, fecal, garaichu, gmarrox, guu, karaskakalac, llilium, metalcoldreaper, mrgoodlove, mvtjets, partyboomer, phanaict, privatepumpanickel, revengeforfreeze, shaanhead, shredmaster, someoneforamoment, spatulaman, thebrownbomber, therichie, thethirddoctor, thewulfman, tiles, timmywankenobi, tittycinnamon, twiztidninja, vlemich, wbrehmer, wwhhaaq, xxitzchubsxx, xxxcheeta

Inb4 red thumbs
Inb4 butthurt
Inb4 criticism
Inb4 I don't respond
inb4 I don't care
inb4 mvtjets posts as anonymous with a halfwit comment while simultaneously thumbing his comment up
inb4 not this **** again
inb4 stop rolling

Go **** yourselves. You've earned it.
#449 to #273 - vlemich
Reply 0
(12/05/2014) [-]
I'm just now seeing this but... but... I feel kind of proud to be on a list (it's a hate list... but still). Dunno what I did *shrug*

Also, I'm pretty sure I actually enjoy your comments so... I dunno
#440 to #273 - partyboomer
Reply +1
(06/17/2014) [-]
Ah, I am on this list. So why d'you hate me then?
#441 to #440 - Orc
Reply -1
(06/17/2014) [-]
**Orc rolls 7** To be honest, I don't. I don't even know who have the people on this list are. Probably what happened is we got into an argument, I got butt hurt and blocked you. I haven't cleaned my list in forever, so I couldn't tell you.
#442 to #441 - partyboomer
Reply +1
(06/18/2014) [-]
No, mate I know for a fact we have never argued, I only joined about a month ago, Also I love rolling like you. So unless you got butt hurt from me talking to someone else I'm not the right person on that list.
#443 to #442 - Orc
Reply -1
(06/18/2014) [-]
You must have said something that just made me mad, so I blocked you. I don't know, because I can't find it, and I don't remember it. Oh well.
#444 to #443 - partyboomer
Reply +1
(06/18/2014) [-]
**partyboomer rolled image** I don't think so.... unless you get pissed at homophobic or anti brony comments.
#445 to #444 - Orc
Reply -1
(06/18/2014) [-]
Not at all. Maybe I did just click the wrong name.
#446 to #445 - partyboomer
Reply +1
(06/18/2014) [-]
**partyboomer rolled image** Awh well, I'll be rollin' off now, cya around.
#420 to #273 - chazta
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
Come at me ************
Come at me ************
#425 to #273 - beccakingx
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
#290 to #273 - warwolfrider ONLINE
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
Holy **** Orc SHUT THE **** UP why do you always have to be a crybaby faggot BOO HOO I hate these people because none of your business.... I hate a lot of people to but I don't remember most of them because i'm not a stuck up cunt who dwells on Every ******* time you comment on something it just pisses me of IF you didn't care then you wouldn't have posted a list of people you hate I can't believe you're so much of a ******* cunt ass faggot peace of **** that you have a list THIS BIG OF PEOPLES USER NAMES when normal people cant even remember 5 of their friends users names and how to spell them ... you seriously need professional help
#291 to #290 - Orc
Reply -2
(06/15/2014) [-]
lol
#306 to #291 - warwolfrider ONLINE
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
Wow you blocked me you ******* faggot pussy
#310 to #306 - Orc
Reply -2
(06/15/2014) [-]
Don't be such a crybaby.
#428 to #310 - warwolfrider ONLINE
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
Don't be such a pussy then
#344 to #273 - TwiztidNinja
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
haha orc you realise you are a moronic jizz sock right? that is why people give you ****.
#348 to #344 - Orc
Reply -3
(06/15/2014) [-]
I'm moronic for disliking people? lel okie
#436 to #348 - TwiztidNinja
Reply +1
(06/16/2014) [-]
Nono it is why so many people **** with you.
#350 to #273 - abstractpink
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
Honestly I don't even know what me and Lily did.
#351 to #350 - Orc
Reply -1
(06/15/2014) [-]
You called me retarded and a faggot. It's not the scars on the outside that count. It's the scars on the inside.
#352 to #351 - abstractpink
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
As I remember it, you insulted my girlfriend first.
#354 to #352 - Orc
Reply -2
(06/15/2014) [-]
**Orc rolled image** She's very annoying.
#356 to #354 - abstractpink
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
So are you, but you're not even on any of my lists, and I've got a lot of lists.
#358 to #356 - Orc
Reply -1
(06/15/2014) [-]
> annoying
> Orc

pick one
#360 to #358 - abstractpink
Reply +4
(06/15/2014) [-]
I pick annoyingorc then
#416 to #273 - armsdealer
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
You've summoned the wrong *************
You've summoned the wrong *************
#320 to #273 - capslockrage
Reply +4
(06/15/2014) [-]
Why do you hate me? I don't even know who the **** you are.
#321 to #320 - Orc
Reply -2
(06/15/2014) [-]
**Orc rolled image** I block everybody for a reason. I am not entitled to remember those reasons.
#323 to #321 - capslockrage
Reply +5
(06/15/2014) [-]
Also don't try to sound intelligent, you can't even use the word entitled properly.
#324 to #323 - Orc
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
**Orc rolled image** It is a good reason. "I don't agree with what this person said, so I don't want anything he says to be associated with my posts or profile," and I'm pretty sure its use is acceptable there.
#322 to #321 - capslockrage
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
"this person said something I don't agree with

block"

good reason
#362 to #273 - joshlol
Reply +4
(06/15/2014) [-]
yay you like me
#363 to #362 - llilium
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
blocked for feeling safe
#364 to #363 - joshlol
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
#369 to #364 - llilium
Reply +4
(06/15/2014) [-]
I don't make the rules, mr. judgmental guy over there does
I don't make the rules, mr. judgmental guy over there does
#376 to #369 - Orc
Reply -3
(06/15/2014) [-]
**Orc rolls 478,059,360** Joshlol is on the never block list.
#390 to #376 - llilium
Reply +6
(06/15/2014) [-]
Oh, congratulations joshlol, a guy who hates a lot of people for petty reasons doesn't hate you, this seems to be a running pattern with you.
Oh, congratulations joshlol, a guy who hates a lot of people for petty reasons doesn't hate you, this seems to be a running pattern with you.
#391 to #390 - joshlol
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
usually the other way around
#394 to #391 - llilium
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
hue

y'know who I'm talking about tho
#397 to #394 - joshlol
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
actually my memory is **** and I'm not sure
tell me on skype
#392 to #390 - Orc
Reply -3
(06/15/2014) [-]
Me not hating someone is a pattern?
#393 to #392 - llilium
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
Not you, I meant a pattern for joshlol
#395 to #393 - Orc
Reply -3
(06/15/2014) [-]
Do you want me to unblock you?
#396 to #395 - llilium
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
why would you ask that? I barely even know you so whether you have me blocked or not it does not affect me, even though I have no idea what I did wrong, I would appreciate it if you stop being hostile towards me for reasons I do not know about
why would you ask that? I barely even know you so whether you have me blocked or not it does not affect me, even though I have no idea what I did wrong, I would appreciate it if you stop being hostile towards me for reasons I do not know about
#398 to #396 - Orc
Reply -3
(06/15/2014) [-]
I'm not being hostile.
#399 to #398 - llilium
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
Well not right now you aren't, but you did in fact insult me on that selfie post and thumbed down most of my comments, and blocked me off your profile in the middle of a conversation, seems pretty hostile to me
#400 to #399 - Orc
Reply -3
(06/15/2014) [-]
I blocked you because you were annoying me, but I'm sorry for insulting you.
#401 to #400 - llilium
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
I'm sorry for annoying you then
I'm sorry for annoying you then
#404 to #401 - Orc
Reply -3
(06/15/2014) [-]
I unblocked you and abstractpink.
#405 to #404 - llilium
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#408 to #404 - abstractpink
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
o ty
#365 to #362 - Orc
Reply -4
(06/15/2014) [-]
Not exactly, I just don't hate you. People bitch about your content and how you made yourself famous here, and that's slightly harmed my opinion of you, but I also recall you snapping at me once for commenting on one of your posts.
#367 to #365 - joshlol
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
alrighty
#419 to #273 - mvtjets
Reply +4
(06/15/2014) [-]
>trying too hard
>trying too hard
#421 to #273 - firewolfseven
Reply +4
(06/15/2014) [-]
Is this meant to matter?
Are you meant to be someone?
#430 to #421 - Orc
Reply -5
(06/15/2014) [-]
No, I just thought I would share. If you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have read it. I stated that before I listed anyone.
#431 to #430 - firewolfseven
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
Just looks like you're trying to act all edgy.
#435 to #431 - Orc
Reply -5
(06/15/2014) [-]
**Orc rolls 18,427,612** > imblyign I care
#422 to #273 - shredmaster
Reply +4
(06/15/2014) [-]
You rang, bitch?
You rang, bitch?
#275 to #273 - gmarrox ONLINE
Reply +7
(06/15/2014) [-]
At first I found it funny that you have such a burning hatred while I don't know who the **** you are, but now I'm just getting annoyed by the mentions.
#277 to #275 - Orc
Reply -2
(06/15/2014) [-]
**Orc rolled image** This is the second time I've posted the list. Unfortunately, I have forgotten to list a few, but I can't be bothered to rewrite the list or to mention them now. I'm not trying to get an argument started here. It's just an FYI for you and everybody.
#2 - pwines
Reply +388
(06/14/2014) [-]
#166 to #2 - crobog
Reply +8
(06/15/2014) [-]
#9 - einharjar
Reply +321
(06/14/2014) [-]
"I keep rebooting it but it's not working"
>continuously presses monitor power button
#159 to #9 - cobrien
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
I actually had that happen to a classmate of mine who worked in IT. That would be the day I quit.
#15 - Steinwolf
Reply +191
(06/14/2014) [-]
#8 - wertgf
Reply +177
(06/14/2014) [-]
My parents call the internet google. The internet isn't working = google isn't working. Buy item x off the internet = Buy off google.

Also:
>Be me
>Parents buy first laptop
>brand new out of the box, store wanted to charge around £100 to run through setup.
>Downloading basic antivirus software with father
>Father tells me I gave him a virus
>He clicked on an advert that said 'Download', downloading like 6 toolbars
>MFW
#282 to #8 - buttinspecter
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
Then Google's plan to take over the internet is falling right into place.
#56 to #8 - nustix
Reply +4
(06/14/2014) [-]
You're a laptop?
#69 to #8 - zomitlu
Reply +12
(06/14/2014) [-]
>Not installing adblock on their laptop
#135 to #69 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
That's a good idea!

Though I know a relative once screwed up Firefox by downloading a lot of plugins....
#209 to #135 - internetscaresme
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
>Firefox
Seriously, Chrome is much better than most Browsers.
#225 to #209 - germed
Reply -3
(06/15/2014) [-]
Firefox is a hundred times better than Chrome, you're just a botnet conformist casul
#424 to #225 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
#259 to #225 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
Firefox is better currently, but only because it just got redesigned, and since Chrome has gone soo far down the *******. Chrome used to be hands down the best though.
#22 - faimbot
Reply +124
(06/14/2014) [-]
Number ******* 10!!! NUMBER ******* 10!!!!!   
related   
>be me    
>10 years old   
>playing ps one, gta original, **** is absolute awesome   
>not my game though, dickface cousin (age 12) brought it over,    
>Uncle comes through asks me how its going (cousin was eating dinner i was ******* marathoning down my fish and chips, get back to some ps1 shizz)   
>Its amazing, this game is so good, i have never played such a fun game ever.   
>He says he got it for me(cousin has enough games, i only had maybe 2 at this point), but my cousin, the dickface wanted to play it first, before bringing it over, and neglected to tell me game was for me.   
>I am so overjoyed, been playing mission after mission, kill frenzies, remote control car bombs you ****** name it.   
>uncle tells cousin its time to go, he doesnt want to leave the game.   
>not gonna fly uncle tells him "Its his game, i got it for him, now lets go"   
>dick stain comes into my room, opens ps 1 disc tray, and takes game out   
> i ****** stop, controller drops from hand in shock, i didnt save, tv is ****** stuttering and making crazy noises as game disintegrates off the screen.   
>Shock leads to anger, which leads to hate, which leads me to beating your ******* ass down with a ps one.   
> grab cousin, grab ps one console, smash his face off it, he can always goooo downtown.mp3   
>double palmed skull grab, just slamming his head on into side drawers until i pulled off.   
>blood everywhere, dickstain lost a tooth, my finger nails are raw from excessive scalp gripping.   
>disc is on the floor, grab that ****, hide it in my top secret location (a slit in the wall paper whoop whoop)   
>****** panic and anger spreads through household.   
>***** not given, dickstain cousin cries like a bitch for 2 straight hours, i get harassed about returning game   
>never surrender.   
>MFW game was never returned, and cousin wet himself   
>MFW we never talk to that part of the family ever now.
Number ******* 10!!! NUMBER ******* 10!!!!!
related
>be me
>10 years old
>playing ps one, gta original, **** is absolute awesome
>not my game though, dickface cousin (age 12) brought it over,
>Uncle comes through asks me how its going (cousin was eating dinner i was ******* marathoning down my fish and chips, get back to some ps1 shizz)
>Its amazing, this game is so good, i have never played such a fun game ever.
>He says he got it for me(cousin has enough games, i only had maybe 2 at this point), but my cousin, the dickface wanted to play it first, before bringing it over, and neglected to tell me game was for me.
>I am so overjoyed, been playing mission after mission, kill frenzies, remote control car bombs you ****** name it.
>uncle tells cousin its time to go, he doesnt want to leave the game.
>not gonna fly uncle tells him "Its his game, i got it for him, now lets go"
>dick stain comes into my room, opens ps 1 disc tray, and takes game out
> i ****** stop, controller drops from hand in shock, i didnt save, tv is ****** stuttering and making crazy noises as game disintegrates off the screen.
>Shock leads to anger, which leads to hate, which leads me to beating your ******* ass down with a ps one.
> grab cousin, grab ps one console, smash his face off it, he can always goooo downtown.mp3
>double palmed skull grab, just slamming his head on into side drawers until i pulled off.
>blood everywhere, dickstain lost a tooth, my finger nails are raw from excessive scalp gripping.
>disc is on the floor, grab that ****, hide it in my top secret location (a slit in the wall paper whoop whoop)
>****** panic and anger spreads through household.
>***** not given, dickstain cousin cries like a bitch for 2 straight hours, i get harassed about returning game
>never surrender.
>MFW game was never returned, and cousin wet himself
>MFW we never talk to that part of the family ever now.
#28 to #22 - anon
Reply 0
(06/14/2014) [-]
Your uncle seemed like a cool guy
#355 to #22 - butterduck
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
Ya did good.
Ya did good.......
#381 to #22 - admiralen
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
too bad, your uncle seemed like a pretty cool guy
#35 to #22 - jakatackka
Reply +2
(06/14/2014) [-]
That's kinda ****** up.
#43 to #35 - faimbot
Reply +10
(06/14/2014) [-]
The faggot had it coming, he does **** like that all the time, he once threw my remote control car into a swimming pool when i was 7. now it wasnt the best remote control car, it was probably like £30 but it was cool, because it had lights on it and ****.

That car was ruined, and i never reacted. it was a birthday present. and justice was never done, they just sort of told him off. "Thats not nice" seriously.
#173 to #43 - EdwardNigma ONLINE
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
Tell me more about your dickface cousin.
#298 to #173 - faimbot
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
My school was taking my class to a theme park called Loudon Castle, i was around 7 or 8, it only cost us like £5 a head, we all were going on a bus. I took a letter home about 2 weeks before we were going saying to finalise the headcount they needed the £5 asap.

So my mum is like, ok cool, we pay the £5 and i'm all set. Cousin doesnt go to my school, but hears I am going to a theme park. Demands his mum and dad take him to one.

His dad drives a a very nice BMW 7 series. He refused to take my cousin because he didnt have enough time, what with work. And mum can't take him because her car (a modest porsche convertible) was getting work done on it.

So like any little dickface, he gets into his dads car, in the front seat, and takes a **** in there. on the seat. The entirety of his punishment was "Go to your room until I sort this out". and i think thats the last anyone spoke of it. Oh sure they tried to exclude him from things like dessert or something, but he would throw a mini tantrum and they would cave.

Thats nothing compared to what he gets up to these days. you know, since his family have broken up, and since lost all their money.
#402 to #298 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
you should make OC comps about your cousin
this **** is gold
definitely frontpage material
#169 to #43 - hopporto
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
Lights and ****? Thats ******* badass. I had a ******* tiny ass remote control car that had lights and it was the most ******* awesome thing ever, but the battery died every ******* 3 minutes. **** was still cash tho.
#122 to #22 - defeats
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
I remember when I was at an autistic friends (much like your cousin and maybe you a bit) home. I had a custom made GTA controller for my ps2 (I was about 8 when it came out, and we both got one the moment they came to the UK).
Brought this controllers to the friends house because he only had one (due to breaking every other one). He sets his beady eyes on my controller, asks to try it. I was a kind person back then, let him use it while we played.

Time to go, I ask for my controller back, he says "no, this is better than mine and I like it so it's mine now", he throws his one at me and tells me to take it.

I say no, and tell him to give me mine. The retard clubbed me over the head with it, then started screaming and raving about how it's his now. His dad came in and told him to give me it. He tips his head down and starts crying, looking at the floor and hands it to me. I took it back and then cracked him over the head with it as hard as I could with his dad stood right behind me.

I walk out of his house and hear his dad shouting at him, telling him he deserved it and how he's probably just lost his only friend. Go home and wonder why I was ever friends with an autistic person in the first place.

Kids and their playstations, I don't know how many times I've been hit by somebody with a controller
#316 to #22 - cedrock
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
Something similar happened with me and my cousin when I was visiting him.

> Me, 14 year old.
> Him, 15.
> I'm on my laptop, he's on his Tower.
> Both minding our own business.
> He decides **** it and turns my laptop off.
> Oh **** ******, you did not just do that.
> Act like I don't give a **** until he gets immersed into what he was doing on his computer.
> Turn off his computer.
> "Now we're eve-"
> Slaps my hand away after it is done.
> I quickly grab him by the neck and thrust him back into the wall. He was an absolute sitting duck and could barely breath.
> "Don't touch me. It's already be settled."
> I let go of him after he started becoming redfaced.
> Turn my back away and head back to my PC.
> Douchebag pushes me from the back.
> I trip on the doorstep of his room
> He had to rely on cheap shots to bring me down...
> Reply with a kick to the nutsack.
> Family comes in.
> WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON
#403 to #316 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
more please
#42 to #22 - fedeand
Reply +3
(06/14/2014) [-]
Jesus christ, if that story really was true you would be a complete psyko.
#45 to #42 - faimbot
Reply +3
(06/14/2014) [-]
I was a little unhinged back then. but see comment #43, its not like my dick of a cousin didnt deserve it.
#177 to #42 - pooplol
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
you should probably learn to spell psycho
#447 to #177 - fedeand
Reply 0
(06/19/2014) [-]
i so much apolosgises fior biieng not gud ad englisj
#448 to #447 - pooplol
Reply 0
(06/19/2014) [-]
dude, this was from 4-5 days ago, get over it and go back to preschool
#90 to #22 - kevinator ONLINE
Reply +23
(06/14/2014) [-]
I'm ******* glad to hear this,

>be 13
> playing some super smash bros on the 64
>Friend storm in, tell me to stop playing nerd ****
>take the cartige right out of the 64
>NotOnMyWatchFaggot.gif
>Tell him to give it back or i'll deck him in
>He throw the cartige on the ground, it shatter
>Lose my ****
>Grab my skateboard and hammer it on his skull
>Next day cops show up with friend's parents tryng to lay assault charge
>Never gave up, told them he smashed my stuff
>Never got charges
>Still glad I did it, friendship was lost that day.
#228 to #90 - thatguyontheright ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
How did the cartridge shatter? N64 games are ******* tanks.
#229 to #228 - kevinator ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
I shattered plenty of my cartridge when I went on bike trips to my friend's place, the thing just have to hit on his side
#230 to #229 - thatguyontheright ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
I've never seen one shatter, could be interesting to see. Where is my Superman 64 cart?
#231 to #230 - kevinator ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
You've commited a terrible crime, one of the rule of the gaming world: Never pronounce the name of this cursed game
#276 to #231 - nopenotme
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.
#234 to #231 - thatguyontheright ONLINE
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
I do not fear the game, so I will not fear speaking its name.
#295 to #234 - wunderlichh
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
So... did it shatter?
#128 to #90 - professordolan ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
was it the wooden or metal part of the skateboard
#171 to #128 - kevinator ONLINE
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
no just the wooden end where it bend
#37 to #22 - Eiza
Reply +82
(06/14/2014) [-]
Huh. Those claims that GTA makes kids violent suddenly seem much more reasonable.
#41 to #37 - faimbot
Reply +19
(06/14/2014) [-]
I was violent before gta was even conceived. Before i ever had a video games console.

Infact, videogames actually prevented many a violent moment, i would turn to games like tekken, dune, wwf warzone etc instead of assaulting someone.
#126 to #37 - oliveirajo
Reply +5
(06/15/2014) [-]
I'm pretty sure MOBAs are the ones making kids violent.
#136 to #126 - rollfourexplain
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
**rollfourexplain rolls 9,405**

I don't think so. That statement you just said... It sounds like a repeat of the same kind of stuff I hear about a lot of new things. I read that exact sentence with Dark Souls and a few other games.
#179 to #136 - oliveirajo
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
Pretty sure MOBAs are leading to frustration. Well, to my experience, it's the only type of game where I'm feeling a high level of dissaproval toward my allies.   
Gif semi-related : Just wanted to see if it looked good
Pretty sure MOBAs are leading to frustration. Well, to my experience, it's the only type of game where I'm feeling a high level of dissaproval toward my allies.
Gif semi-related : Just wanted to see if it looked good
#14 - perform
Reply +106
(06/14/2014) [-]
"Why are you opening that thing? Open the internet!"
"Mom, this is Chrome. It's an internet browser."
"No but I want Internet Explorer!"
"Mom, that is an internet browser too."
"NOOO IT'S NOT CAN'T YOU READ? IT'S INTERNET EXPLORER!"

On a relevant note, where do I bury her body?
#220 to #14 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
Personally I don't really have this issue because my parents and immediate family are vaguely tech savvy or have savvy techies in house, but I'd assume you want to use a metaphor they can understand; most of the current parent generation or the last one will be all up in the television shizniz so use that. Tell them that the "internet" is accessed like channels on TV, and the browsers are like TVs then tell them that [insert favoured browser here] is superior to [insert Internet Explorer here] I'd write "bad browser here" but that's pretty much the same thing.. Using buzzwords related to something they hardly understand or care to understand is like a foreign language or some sort of colloquial slang for all they know. Of course some could just be too stubborn or unyielding.
#357 to #14 - butterduck
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
Any swamp will do.
The mud will cover the body and wild-life will slowly pick at it.
#150 to #14 - strigt
Reply +4
(06/15/2014) [-]
In your Internet Explorer history.
#92 to #14 - kevinator ONLINE
Reply +14
(06/14/2014) [-]
got the same problem with an aunt, I renamed Chrome Internet Explorer Advance, never had a complaint
#32 - ishallsmiteyou
Reply +65
(06/14/2014) [-]
storytime!
>only guy in family who knows anything about computers
>set up router I was told to (some piece of **** my uncle found in a junkyard)
>needless to say it burns out a week later
>everyone thinks it's my fault even though it was caused by the ****** overheating, even had scorch marks on it
>same uncle who found the last router shows up with a new one
>blames router failure on me playing games like Bad Company
>same time he shows I'm trying to get a new product key for said game, as I lost the booklet
>asks what I'm doing
>"Getting a new product key for my game"
>He calls me a liar when I say I bought the ******* game and even showed him the case
>sets new router up and doesn't bother to configure it before he leaves
>entire family blames me for not being able to get wireless signal
>whenever I try to configure it I get bitched at and told not to
>one day set it up anyways, get smacked for doing so
cont.
#36 to #32 - ishallsmiteyou
Reply +80
(06/14/2014) [-]
>everyone in house gets wireless now
>set password to "cokezero" just so everyone will remember it
>everyone is enjoying wireless and I even get apologized to for aforementioned smack
>get called back a couple weeks later
>no one can use teh interwebs for some reason
>router has its own install disk for the configuration (it's not done through browser like you'd expect)
>notice all of the files necessary for configuration are missing
>ask why
>"it was a virus so I removed it"
>why the **** did you think that?
>"..."
>find disk and reinstall everything
>called back a week later
>family clicked every add they saw and clicked everything that said download
>pc is filled with more viruses than a Florida hooker
>tell everyone I need to wipe the disc and reinstall windows, make sure they understand everything will be gone
>"just fix it"
>deal with everything
>"WHY IS EVERYTHING GONE?!?!? YOU BROKE MY COMPUTER!"
>leave and never come back
#57 to #36 - dinobro
Reply +8
(06/14/2014) [-]
mfw family doesn't understand computers at all.  Those technologically ignorant *************.  good story, though.
mfw family doesn't understand computers at all. Those technologically ignorant *************. good story, though.
#202 to #36 - pimpjesus
Reply +3
(06/15/2014) [-]
suddenly, multiple counts of homicide seems okay.
suddenly, multiple counts of homicide seems okay.
#410 to #36 - wtfduud
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
That made me hyperventilate.
#211 to #36 - hammarhead
Reply +1
(06/15/2014) [-]
what's so special about florida hookers?
#212 to #211 - ishallsmiteyou
Reply +5
(06/15/2014) [-]
I dunno, I just needed something to make the reader laugh while still being related to the events that I documented in this particular piece of literature.
#127 to #36 - garymotherfingoak
Reply 0
(06/15/2014) [-]
I'm sorry bro.
#10 - willindor
Reply +61
(06/14/2014) [-]
#137 - rambomanthree
Reply +51
(06/15/2014) [-]
I have a few tales
>get call from grandma something is wrong with her computer
>Go over to her house
>anon DID YOU DOWNLOAD A VULGAR WEBSITE, THE COMPUTER IS NOT RUNNING
>me: no grandma, the only time i used this computer is when I showed you how to message a person on facebook.
>23 pages internet open
>******* mouse plugged into ethernet jack
>me: grandma, you have too many things running at once.. and your mouse is plugged into the ethernet jack
>grandma: ETHERNET JACK? you mean internet!! you dont know what you are talking about, ill just call my neighbor kim and have her fix it, she is a computer expert
>kim is this middle aged woman who took web design for a day in college and failed.. and literally once told her to try to download more RAM.
-------

Story 2:
>grandma first gets computer
>Its ******* 90 degrees in her house
>I leave the door open
>grandma: Close the door sweety, you're letting the internet out.
#140 to #137 - zarallyn
Reply +13
(06/15/2014) [-]
Mfw computer inept people telling me how to fix a problem
Mfw computer inept people telling me how to fix a problem
#143 to #140 - rambomanthree
Reply +13
(06/15/2014) [-]
My grandma always gets mad like
>me: grandma click on the internet browser to open it
>her: whats a browser
>knows if i explain it she will get more confused
>here, just click on google chrome
>her:where is it
>look under the start menu
>her: start menu?
>me: takes mouse- here lemme just


MFW she is all "NO I WANNA LEARN HOW TO DO IT.. DONT DO IT FOR ME" and takes 20 minutes to find the internet browser while she gets mad at me for not helping her
#145 to #143 - zarallyn
Reply +2
(06/15/2014) [-]
I'm so glad most of my family knows the bare basics of using a computer, I don't think I could handle that ****
#134 - fjponythread
Reply +51
(06/15/2014) [-]
>Mom tells me to fix her notebook   
>Really don't want to but if I didn't do it, she would start using my notebook and I REALLY don't wanna do that   
>Check what's broken   
>Windows XP is totally smashed and full of malware and adware   
>Tell her that it's a lost cause   
>Back up her files   
>Format the drive and install Linux Mint on it since it's mostly idiotproof without a root password and a knowledge of the terminal commands   
>Allow SSH only locally and install VNC   
>Spend 3 hours trying to get Wifi drivers working  and setting up **** like Slovak language packs and setting up M$ Office to work through WINE   
>Install AdBlock Edge on Firefox, Grive (Open Source alternative to the official Google Drive Linux client) and  Comodo Free Antivirus for Linux    
>Keeps complaining every single day about it FOR A WHOLE MONTH   
>One day she says that her notebook doesn't work   
>Take a look at it   
>GRUB2 shows up but Mint is not booting   
>Not even the recovery mode doesn't work   
>Boot from one of my recovery pack CDs    
>Look at the Linux partition   
>The whole Linux partition was completely wiped   
And I still don't know to this day how the **** she managed to do that
>Mom tells me to fix her notebook
>Really don't want to but if I didn't do it, she would start using my notebook and I REALLY don't wanna do that
>Check what's broken
>Windows XP is totally smashed and full of malware and adware
>Tell her that it's a lost cause
>Back up her files
>Format the drive and install Linux Mint on it since it's mostly idiotproof without a root password and a knowledge of the terminal commands
>Allow SSH only locally and install VNC
>Spend 3 hours trying to get Wifi drivers working and setting up **** like Slovak language packs and setting up M$ Office to work through WINE
>Install AdBlock Edge on Firefox, Grive (Open Source alternative to the official Google Drive Linux client) and Comodo Free Antivirus for Linux
>Keeps complaining every single day about it FOR A WHOLE MONTH
>One day she says that her notebook doesn't work
>Take a look at it
>GRUB2 shows up but Mint is not booting
>Not even the recovery mode doesn't work
>Boot from one of my recovery pack CDs
>Look at the Linux partition
>The whole Linux partition was completely wiped
And I still don't know to this day how the **** she managed to do that
#283 to #134 - emptysuperman
Reply +6
(06/15/2014) [-]
I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.