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How does one save a donkey

i. My wants to kill my donkey, how can I
protect it in any way possible? (self., Dnd)
W submitted 23 days ago * by
Hello, I am Ming a druid in Se and my keeps
trying to plot ways to kill my donkey and Tye sort
of grown attachment to my imaginary donkey.
Help.
edit: Thank you For all of these replies, they' re
golden and i' m in stitches, taking these on board.
more hound!
...
+640
Views: 25436
Favorited: 77
Submitted: 01/08/2016
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Reply
+32
User avatar #5 - angelious ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
what if your dm is a rail roading bitch?
Reply
+8
User avatar #23 to #5 - heartlessrobot ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
Kick him out of your mother's basement.
Or piss in his mountain dew. Though that one might go unnoticed.
Reply
+46
User avatar #7 to #5 - twostepstoomany (01/08/2016) [-]
Quit. Can't have a campaign without players.
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+33
#18 - jellyroller (01/09/2016) [-]
The rest of his party's face when.
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0
#59 to #18 - mrchris (01/09/2016) [-]
**mrchris used "*roll picture*"**
**mrchris rolled image**this is how the plan worked out
Reply
+88
User avatar #2 - cheersforsneers (01/08/2016) [-]
>Announces his intent to destabilize the game
>DM Kills you off for trying to ruin the fun and disrupt the game
>"Where could my plan have gone wrong?"
Reply
-1
User avatar #24 to #2 - heartlessrobot ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
>>#23
Reply
+1
#31 to #2 - drewjitsu (01/09/2016) [-]
Lich King was awesome, this is druid version. Can still be fun, kill the druid becomes new goal. Far off kingdom can **** itself.
Reply
+54
#4 to #2 - attifyon (01/08/2016) [-]
>other players realize that the DM is a control freak and they're not really "playing" either
>everyone walks out on DM
>"g-guys, you didn't finish this campaign I spent nights on!"
Reply
0
#60 to #4 - mrchris (01/09/2016) [-]
**mrchris used "*roll picture*"**
**mrchris rolled image**this is how the plan worked out
Reply
+53
User avatar #6 to #2 - tenaciouslee ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
If your DM is that much of a cunt, to where you can't do anything except the campaign, then why would you play with him?
Reply
+6
User avatar #8 to #6 - cheersforsneers (01/08/2016) [-]
Freedom is important, but a good DM knows when you need to reign it in to keep the party on track and prevent total chaos. My current group is open world, but if they have missions that they elect to go on I do expect them to kinda pull their **** together for the quest.
Reply
+7
#40 to #8 - anon (01/09/2016) [-]
This whole thing started because the DM didn't like the animal companion of one of the players and therefore was actively trying to kill it. If my DM did **** like that, the whole group would quit because there's no point playing with a DM who will kill off something just because he doesn't like it.

If your party accepts a quest and then abandons it, they should suffer realistic consequences for ignoring it and nothing more. If the captain of a town guard tells your party that he'll give them some gold to kill a monster and they accept the job only to abandon it later on, the only consequences should be A) the guard doesn't like them any more, B) they don't get the gold, and C) the monster keeps doing whatever it was doing until someone else kills it.
Railroading a party by punishing them excessively for straying from the path you want them to take is the mark of a **** DM.
Reply
0
User avatar #9 to #8 - tenaciouslee ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
But what if it's funny?
Reply
+2
User avatar #10 to #9 - cheersforsneers (01/08/2016) [-]
Then I use a random number chart to determine punishment in an equally hilarious manner.
Reply
+16
User avatar #11 to #10 - tenaciouslee ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
So if you killed a Druid's donkey, and he became tree-hugging Hitler, what do?
Reply
+17
User avatar #12 to #11 - cheersforsneers (01/08/2016) [-]
**cheersforsneers used "*roll 1, 1-100*"**
**cheersforsneers rolls 018**
Eaten by Squirrel Jews
Reply
+3
User avatar #13 to #12 - tenaciouslee ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
An 18 is a near-critical success, so would the Squirrel Jew's consuming of the Druid Hitler spread DNA across the land due to their violent nature, and re-populate the earth?

With a race of Squirrel Jews?
Reply
+5
User avatar #14 to #13 - cheersforsneers (01/08/2016) [-]
No, that's the death rolled determined by rolling 3d10 on a custom death chart. It is WIP but it provides humorous ends to problematic characters. Lets face it, some people just want to watch the game burn.
Reply
+1
User avatar #16 to #14 - tenaciouslee ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
Do know that I'm chatting out my ass, I don't know how DnD works, but I've seen some ******* hilarious stuff come from DnD stories, such as Los Tiburon, the Luchador.

In fact, if I played DnD, I'd have to be a Luchador.
Reply
-1
#21 to #16 - anon (01/09/2016) [-]
Most of those stories are pure ******** that would never be allowed by any sane DM. You can't let one player ruin the experience for several others.
Reply
+1
User avatar #22 to #21 - tenaciouslee ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
You're saying a luchador wrestling a dragon in the sky ruins the experience for the other players?
Reply
0
#26 to #22 - tacoperson (01/09/2016) [-]
probably not, but being overshadowed is kind of annoying. Currently playing a gurps campaign and my friend took the quirk that makes it so weird stuff always happens to him, and basically he's the main character with me being a recurring side character at best.
Reply
0
User avatar #28 to #26 - tenaciouslee ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
I agree that it would suck to be overshadowed, but I also think that there needs to be that moment in a lot of campaigns, where something completely and hilariously stupid happens.
Reply
+1
User avatar #15 to #14 - cheersforsneers (01/08/2016) [-]
The creatures would be 5d6 Dire Squirrels with a curious black circle of hair on top of their heads.
Reply
+140
User avatar #1 - dbqpdb ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
"This is how evil druids are made"
"How does the rest of the party respond"
"Roll to attack our now evil party member"
"..... **** "
Reply
0
User avatar #32 to #1 - falxcariusbro (01/09/2016) [-]
**falxcariusbro used "*roll 1, 1-20*"**
**falxcariusbro rolls 13**
Reply
0
#49 to #1 - mayoroftownsville (01/09/2016) [-]
>implying metagaming doesn't get ****** killed
Reply
0
User avatar #57 to #1 - securityexplain (01/09/2016) [-]
To be fair, that'd be meta-gaming as **** .
Reply
0
User avatar #47 to #1 - advice (01/09/2016) [-]
**advice used "*roll 1, 1-20*"**
**advice rolls 02**
I roll to grapple!!
Reply
+4
#51 to #47 - padamalex (01/09/2016) [-]
You instead lightly caress his back.

he is uncomfortable.
Reply
0
#61 to #51 - mrchris (01/09/2016) [-]
**mrchris used "*roll picture*"**
**mrchris rolled image**this is how the plan worked out
Reply
+1
User avatar #25 to #1 - heartlessrobot ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
>Turn into a bear and devour entire party
Reply
0
User avatar #34 to #25 - Sterski ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
Don't these adventuring parties routinely take down dragons and such?
Reply
0
User avatar #39 to #34 - undeaddog ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
As you should know from skyrim dragons ain't got **** on bears
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0
User avatar #41 to #39 - labree (01/09/2016) [-]
this isnt skyrim.
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0
User avatar #63 to #34 - heartlessrobot ONLINE (01/11/2016) [-]
What about a 50 foot tall bear made out of dragons?
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0
User avatar #36 to #25 - norkasthethird (01/09/2016) [-]
bears are small fry
Reply
0
User avatar #64 to #36 - heartlessrobot ONLINE (01/11/2016) [-]
Still, suddenly 'bear' can through them off their game.
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0
User avatar #62 to #36 - Sterski ONLINE (01/10/2016) [-]
Elephants, however...
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+2
User avatar #19 to #1 - distortedflare ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
party roles**distortedflare used "*roll 1, 1-20*"**
**distortedflare rolls 02**
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+5
User avatar #30 to #19 - stroganoff (01/09/2016) [-]
Party attempts to attack Druid, but then come to encounter a moral crisis, effectively preventing them from doing so
Reply
+2
User avatar #20 to #1 - distortedflare ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
as it turns out the evil druid is fine. and the party all suddenly develop ass cancer and die.
Reply
+2
#54 to #1 - smartythechicken (01/09/2016) [-]
**smartythechicken used "*roll 1, 1-20*"**
**smartythechicken rolls 10**i cast FLAMING CHICKEN
Reply
+72
User avatar #3 to #1 - undeaddog ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
>OOC
>Metagaming
What kinda faggot are u?
Reply
+14
#27 - dehnoobshow ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
Please note.
Only works if party is good alignment.
The DM would have planned world destruction if one player in your party commonly goes evil.
Reply
+10
#46 - thempc ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
it was always for donkey...
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+8
#56 - willindor ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
Druid's FW the DM kills his Donkey
Reply
+15
User avatar #17 - lordsaucy (01/09/2016) [-]
>Attempts to destroy all of civilization
>Fails
>Dies
>"You're rail roading me, bro!"
Logic
Reply
+7
#50 - assrocket (01/09/2016) [-]
In our last dungeon I played a Halfling thief called Pitch.

First he lost an eye when a trapped spyglass shot a ******* spike into his face.
Then he lost a leg in a floor trap.
Later, a kindly cleric in the party triggered another trap. This trap would have set off a ceiling axe, meant to decapitate him. Luckily for the cleric, he had a one-eyed, one-legged halfling on his back, who acted as the perfect flesh shield.
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+3
User avatar #45 - Keychan (01/09/2016) [-]
Your character can change alignments because of an in-game event right? Or is that all up to the DM?
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0
User avatar #53 to #45 - grimsho (01/09/2016) [-]
Uh, both are correct, since everything that happens in the game is pretty much up to the DM. But yes, alignments can absolutely change although it's not exactly common (unless you're playing a paladin with a sadist DM, there's nothing more satisfying than forcing a paladin to Fall).
Reply
+4
#48 to #45 - dragmar (01/09/2016) [-]
An alignment is merely a depiction of where you are, based upon previous life decisions. An evil character can perform good actions, it just means that the repercussions will be related. Keep it up and you have a redemption story on your hands.

An alignment can be a spot where you are comfortable, but not limited. Or merely a point on your journey.
Reply
+3
User avatar #38 - Chizypuff (01/09/2016) [-]
And then the rest of your party hates you because they never get to play the game
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0
User avatar #42 to #38 - mrevitcartta (01/09/2016) [-]
My buddy went rogue in a campaign we were playing and the rest of the party just shifted to try to stop him. The story always goes on.
Reply
+1
User avatar #44 to #42 - Chizypuff (01/09/2016) [-]
It's no fun to play the side character in a game
Reply
0
User avatar #43 to #42 - Chizypuff (01/09/2016) [-]
We had a literal rogue who had alternate means during one of our quests and failed a slight of hand roll, our party eventually turned against him and he had to roll a new character
Reply
+3
User avatar #37 - brothergrimm (01/09/2016) [-]
I had an incident the other day where i was fighting some ******* roided out polar bear thing..... Every swing, it missed. And i somehow ended up stabbing myself.
Reply
0
#58 to #37 - mrchris (01/09/2016) [-]
**mrchris used "*roll picture*"**
**mrchris rolled image** this is how the plan worked out
Reply
+2
#52 - myjunk (01/09/2016) [-]
What DM could do instead is to invite another group and let the donkey druid act as the villain for them.
Instant new campaign, basically writes itself.
Sorry, I never played. Would that work?
Reply
0
#55 to #52 - anon (01/09/2016) [-]
Well yes, the druid could be used as a fun villain, but the first campaign would still be derailed, no matter how the DM handles it all the time he spent on it would be wasted now. (unless he uses the plans for another campaign of course)
Reply
+2
User avatar #29 - HobbsBear (01/09/2016) [-]
I really want to play DnD again.... I had a great character once. Ramgrin the Exiled. An ex dwarf king, banished to the wilds, where I became a bit insane. The first thing I do in the campaign, is fumble a roll and take a tumble down the mountain after crashing into a tree, which ends up falling down the mountain with me. Then, I jam my feet into the ground, whip the tree around, and launch it straight through a Goblins skull, intimidating the rest of the attacking goblins.

I also ended up in my own bear trap, befriending an owl-bear that I used as my mount, and got high enough on musk to befriend a tribe of golemns in the highest mountains in the region.

**** was cash, 10/10, would do again.
Reply
-1
#35 - civicdoodies (01/09/2016) [-]
**civicdoodies used "*roll picture*"**
**civicdoodies rolled image** this is how the plan worked out
Reply
0
User avatar #33 - dudemiesterman ONLINE (01/09/2016) [-]
I've never played DnD. Never had the opportunity. Makes me sad, I've always wanted to try it out, seems like a lot of fun.
 
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