Hero guys. After having my tuna canal pounded, he then proceeded to hammer my turd cutter. My quim was trembling like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery. He m
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Hero guys

Hero guys. After having my tuna canal pounded, he then proceeded to hammer my turd cutter. My quim was trembling like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery. He m

After having my tuna canal pounded, he then proceeded to hammer my turd cutter. My quim was trembling like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery. He munched on my vertical garden, even though I'd had the painters in for the best part of a week. With his wensleydale wand plowing deep into my frilling pink golf bag, the sensation of his timed slimer smashing my cervix made me quake like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery. The feeling of his love mayonnaise haemorrhaging down my throat got my shrimp sap flowing quicker than snot off a whip.

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img, iii. :, Atty ATHEI! EVER?
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Submitted: 03/16/2014
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User avatar #1 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Both Spidy and Supes suffer from Survivors Guilt. Spider-man, because he's part of the reason his father-figure was killed (When he could have stopped the guy who did it easily. Instead, he decided to be petty), and that'll never leave him. How would YOU feel if you accidentally had your father murdered? He takes the responsibility onto himself instead of tossing it to anyone else, heading the final words of his uncle. With Great Power, after all.

As for Superman... He was forced to kill Zod. His cousin didn't appear for YEARS, and till then, he -was- alone. When she (And Powergirl) came along, he became much happier, though worried. After all, after the whole Zod fiasco, how could he trust others of his own kind? He barely trusted himself. However, he found them to be good people, who wanted to take up his way at life. So he was content. As for Gondor, the city in the bottle.. He hasn't found a way to unshrink them, and doesn't want their super powers to get in the way of a possible reversation he might find later on the road. Currently, he's not alone. But he's the only one who was raised with to morals of Earth, instead of Krypton.

Wolverine is a touchy subject. After all, if you're practically immortal (Hah. Practically.), and you can't remember anything about who you once were, aside from brief flashes of light and sound and smell and pain, wouldn't you be curious? Not just curious, but desperate for information? Although the X-men are his friends, his family, he's predisposed to leave anyone around him because danger and death follow him like a bad smell. He doesn't WANT to leave them as often as he does, but in his mind he has to. Not just to find out more of whom he once was, but to protect the ones he cares for now.

User avatar #2 to #1 - mrpotatofudge (03/17/2014) [-]
is it wrong that I really want to delete that comment
#14 to #2 - kingarturi (03/17/2014) [-]
#76 to #1 - AdamBaum (03/17/2014) [-]
10/10 worth the read
User avatar #97 to #1 - kiermatv (03/17/2014) [-]
Four Reasons Spider-Man is Secretly Bad at His Job | After Hours

on the spider-man thing

I am a Dan, by the way
User avatar #99 to #97 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Dan fans are best fans. I'm with you.
User avatar #15 to #1 - Maroon ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
"How would you feel if you accidentally had your father killed"

I'd be mad that someone beat me to it
User avatar #16 to #15 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Future Supervillian? Or Antihero.
User avatar #17 to #16 - Maroon ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
I prefer antihero. Being evil requires just as much passion as being good and that's too much effort. The antihero just does whatever he feels like at the time
User avatar #18 to #17 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Hear hear.

I would try to be a hero, then just get ruined by ideology, eventually corroding into an antivillian.
User avatar #19 to #18 - Maroon ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
For me it'd be more like:


Me: Welp, maybe if you were on this side of the street. Peace.
User avatar #21 to #19 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
"Captain Half-ass, awaaaaay!"
User avatar #36 to #16 - supervillian (03/17/2014) [-]
#6 to #1 - anon (03/17/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #7 to #6 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
But I love you.
User avatar #3 to #1 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Wolverine is a touchy subject. After all, if you're practically immortal (Hah. Practically.), and you can't remember anything about who you once were, aside from brief flashes of light and sound and smell and pain, wouldn't you be curious? Not just curious, but desperate for information? Although the X-men are his friends, his family, he's predisposed to leave anyone around him because danger and death follow him like a bad smell. He doesn't WANT to leave them as often as he does, but in his mind he has to. Not just to find out more of whom he once was, but to protect the ones he cares for now.

Batman has taken so many sidekicks under his wing for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes, like for Tim Drake, Barbara Gordon, Kate Kane, he saw they had potential, power, and a desire to protect against those who have done wrong. In Dick Grayson and Jason Todds cases, their families were taken in a fashion similar to his own. In ALL cases, they each shown a level of commitment, as well as their own abilities. For instance, Dicks innate athletic ability, Jasons raw power and skill with fighting, Barbaras idedic memory (Which even Bruce doesn't have; he's just a damn good detective), Tim Drakes natural detective mindset (Which is how he figured out who Batman really was) as well as his willpower (He came out of a potent Scarecrow fear toxin that brought down even the Bat. Unscathed.) And so on. BUT, along with all this, he cares for every single one of them. There is a reason why they're called the Bat Family. Because Bruce, Batman, is the parent he never got to have. The father he lost, to these kids who had lost their own way, and sometimes, even their own parents. He trains them not so they'll become like him, but so they DON'T; he knows how close to insane he is, and wants people there who he not only helped honed their rage and power onto the criminal element, but whom he knows can take him out, if he ever does snap.
#20 to #3 - splyt ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
you're pretty ******* rad. i like you man.

also i'm not familiar with who Tim Drake and Kate Kane are. elaborate?
User avatar #22 to #20 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Tim Drake is the third robin. Kate Kane...

She's complicated. Think of her as a new Batwoman.
User avatar #4 to #3 - rockmanfan (03/17/2014) [-]
woah there charles dickens.
User avatar #118 to #3 - eiaisqzbsesb (03/17/2014) [-]
I would like to hear you go into depth about Deadpool... His character always fascinated me, but I can never really pierce deeper into his mind beyond him wanting to die just so he can get back togeather with the reaper who's the love of his life.
User avatar #119 to #118 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
That’s actually both symbolic and literal. Death IS the love of his life, and he is hers, but it stems from his desire to both die and live at the same time. Not LIVE live, but exist. He hurts every moment of every second of every day, his cancer upped to uber levels thanks to the healing factor Weapon X forced onto him. His mother, too, had cancer, and his father was abusive, if you’re looking for his origin. The father died, supposedly, when one of Deaddies adelesent friends stole a gun and shot him. Wade went into the military and, after a short time, was kicked out, before finding out he had cancer. This was when he was ‘sane’, remember. Even then, he didn’t want to go for chemo treatments, because he really didn’t want to continue living as a walking deadman.

Weapon X took him in, and gave him hope for treatment, so long as he agreed to become a weapon for them. He agreed, and became a test subject, being implanted with the godly healing factor of Wolverine. That stopped his cancer for a while, but after an ‘accident’, he was labeled a failed experiment, and set to die in a sort of hospice. There, other prisoners would bet one who would live or die in ‘deadpool’. Wade was tortured terribly for the scientists deranged satisfaction, which started to slowly break his brain.

It’s here that he first meets Death, when they put a dampener on his healing factor which started to beef up both his cancer and the scarring of it, as they were both kindred spirits. He went so far as to taunt the scientists repetitively, but instead of killing him, they lobotomized the closest thing he had to a friend in there. Death suggested that Wade kill him, so he didn’t have to suffer any longer. However, one of the rules were that if a prisoner killed another, they were to be executed. So they –tore out his heart-, and left him for dead.
#121 to #119 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
However, his thirst for vengeance jump-started his healing factor, which completely RUINED his skin from the cancer, breaking his mind thrice-fold. Afer killing all the scientists, he takes the name Deadpool, because in his mind, he ‘won the bet’, which is what the deadpol was. A bet to see who lived or died.

But moving away from there, there's what makes Deadpool Deadpool.

He was a mercenary by trade, but he only ever went after people he deemed worthy to die, bad people who deserved it. Sure, he killed, but he didn’t kill good people. And in a world full of superheroes who are encuouraged, he was frowned upon because of his innate ugliness of body, mind and spirit. From time to time, he’d take in cash going after costumed heroes, but after a while, he wanted to be a hero himself.

He’s sick in the head, to say the least, and he’s done a lot of bad things. But a lot of good things, too. When every ‘hero’ was teleported into a prison, he was left alone to tackle the space being responsible for it. He did this with the intentions of wiping the slate clean, to be baptized as the hero he wanted to be! But he got his ass handed to him again and again by it, ended up crying in frustration..

But then he realized he couldn’t win by being a hero. He had to win by being himself.

So he challenged the being one last time, man to man. The alien took the shape of Captain America (One of Wades heroes), and he won by convincing the thing into playing a game called Rochambeau... The alien didn’t know what that was, but, well... Picture to the left.

User avatar #120 to #119 - eiaisqzbsesb (03/17/2014) [-]
That part I already know. I just wanted to crack his mind open, see the reasons behind the things he do, rather than his backstory.
User avatar #122 to #120 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Deadpool is the way he is because of raw, painful experiences. That’s what I was getting at. From his mother dying when he was young, to his abusive father, military commition, being ousted, getting cancer himself, the hope of a healing factor that turned out to be his bane, being ruined mentally, tortured... Deadpool is very human. With very human desires. He wants to help, but more often then not he messes up and gets people hurt. He aims to be a hero, but kills too many people, and other real heroes look down on him for it. Deadpool is disfigure and the accumulation of the various traumatic events he had ever undergone through his lengthy life -personified-. THAT is who he is.
User avatar #123 to #122 - eiaisqzbsesb (03/17/2014) [-]
So deadpool is basicly the hero that most signifies humans and our psyche?
User avatar #124 to #123 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Anti-hero. He's tries, and he tries HARD to be a hero. But his insanity, and his own objective morals, hinder him. But yes, that's exactly who he is.
User avatar #125 to #124 - eiaisqzbsesb (03/17/2014) [-]
Hero or Anti-hero. He's basicly Chaotic Good, right?
User avatar #126 to #125 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
If you want to put a label on it, sure. Chaotic good.
User avatar #127 to #126 - eiaisqzbsesb (03/17/2014) [-]
Sorry, only got into Marvel a few weeks ago. I started off with avengers comics and games because that will get me a broad overview of many characters to start with.
User avatar #128 to #127 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Don't be sorry. Anyway, DC, Marvel, they're all good. Marvel is the more human/relatable people, DC is imagination, power and story. Not to say they both don't have all of the above, just in broader strokes. Good stuff.
User avatar #91 to #3 - ICEDgrunge (03/17/2014) [-]
"And Deadpool, well he's just ******* *************** ."
User avatar #48 to #3 - luxray (03/17/2014) [-]
I was gonna refute Wolverine, as he's my favorite hero and could talk for days on him, but you pretty much summed everything up. One thing you didn't mention though is that Wolverine doesn't forgive his mistakes. If anyone were to be hurt while he was at fault, he would never forgive himself, whether they recover or not. He's actually affiliated with more organizations than most of Marvel's heroes.
User avatar #44 to #3 - theblackhorntail (03/17/2014) [-]
I always thought Batman had idetic memory.
User avatar #70 to #44 - atrumaliger (03/17/2014) [-]
Nope! That's why he relies on Alfred/his cowl/the bat computer. He lacks photographic memory, but he makes up for it with his superior detective skill, resourcefulness and raw willpower. So much so that it might seem like he has it. But in reality, he's just really damn good at absorbing everything around him. There's a difference.
#5 - include (03/17/2014) [-]
#67 to #5 - mayedh (03/17/2014) [-]
What about Mrs. Kent?
User avatar #8 to #5 - hankpym (03/17/2014) [-]
that comic became obsolete that same year
User avatar #11 to #8 - thisxshitxisxhard (03/17/2014) [-]
what does that mean?
User avatar #12 to #11 - VincentKing ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
One of the series was the flashpoint paradox, where it pretty much says that on his way home from school, the Flash's mother was killed. In the series, he pretty much starts running when he is an adult, wishing he could change the past, and when he wakes up, he has no powers, no other hero remembers him, and his mother is alive. That is all I am going to say about it, but I do urge you to watch the flashpoint paradox movie, it is awesome and you will feel sad at many points in it
User avatar #13 to #12 - thisxshitxisxhard (03/17/2014) [-]
ok cool will watch eventually
User avatar #130 to #12 - alexanderburns (03/17/2014) [-]
That's Barry Allen Flash in TFP. Wally West Flash has a mom.
#28 - mankey ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
Yep, Deadpool doesn't have any issues.
#81 to #28 - anon (03/17/2014) [-]
He locked an old lady in the Chokey. Matilda/Ms Trunchbull style.
#72 to #28 - imnotkickthecat (03/17/2014) [-]
The hulk is literally unable to kill deadpool. he must have gotten bored of 			*******		 with everyone else.
The hulk is literally unable to kill deadpool. he must have gotten bored of ******* with everyone else.
#54 - bloater (03/17/2014) [-]
The Flash is the best super hero, debate me.
The Flash is the best super hero, debate me.
User avatar #55 to #54 - jackmanagan (03/17/2014) [-]
that gif needs a Wut or a srsly?

do to the flashes everything being so quick he will probably die at a young age.
User avatar #60 to #55 - bloater (03/17/2014) [-]
The flash can travel in time, making aging irrelevant for him.
User avatar #62 to #60 - jackmanagan (03/17/2014) [-]
how does that make him younger?
User avatar #63 to #62 - bloater (03/17/2014) [-]
He can control the movement of his atoms, making them age slower while everything around him goes at normal speed.
#68 to #63 - totalcrinos ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
To sad he cant control his SWAG -mostator.
To sad he cant control his SWAG -mostator.
User avatar #66 to #54 - rockmanfan (03/17/2014) [-]
which flash? there's been like 4.
User avatar #71 to #66 - bloater (03/17/2014) [-]
Wally West flash
User avatar #73 to #71 - rockmanfan (03/17/2014) [-]
flash gordon is best flash.
User avatar #111 to #54 - atrocitustheking (03/17/2014) [-]
He's certainly one of, if not the most overpowered heroes out there.
#132 to #111 - assturtle (03/17/2014) [-]
Who needs superpowers anymore.
User avatar #114 to #54 - liamdurf ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
His costume has no pouches.
Flash: 0
Deadpool: a̟͎̲̣̣̣s̠̣̲gh̪f̦g̸̪̪ḥ̢d̦̥̦͞s͎
#116 to #54 - fareastbrainseer (03/17/2014) [-]
The Flash isn't Batman.
User avatar #129 to #116 - bloater (03/17/2014) [-]
flash could have saved both Rachel and Harvey Dent in the Dark Knight

#102 to #82 - eddymolly (03/17/2014) [-]
Oh Brian.

#75 to #54 - absolutiondreams (03/17/2014) [-]
#57 to #54 - totalcrinos ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
Flash doesnt have his own internet meme......
#59 to #57 - bloater (03/17/2014) [-]
yah got me there, but just because he doesn't have a meme doesn't make him any less of a superhero.
yah got me there, but just because he doesn't have a meme doesn't make him any less of a superhero.
User avatar #106 to #85 - lozac (03/17/2014) [-]
Don't you dare complain on Alfred
#108 to #85 - anon (03/17/2014) [-]
But Batman, don't diss your old-ass brother from another mother...
#41 - enochian (03/17/2014) [-]
That freaking description, man...
That freaking description, man...
#43 - secretdestroyers (03/17/2014) [-]
Oh god, that description.
Oh god, that description.
#80 - nyanturtwig (03/17/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#40 - itsmedumbass (03/17/2014) [-]
That description
User avatar #100 - RyanTheLeet (03/17/2014) [-]
People really shouldn't base their knowledge of super heroes on the movies and content posted here. Anyone who's actually picked up and read the Deadpool comics would know what a tragic person he is.
#105 to #100 - iphraem (03/17/2014) [-]
yea but he rarely complains about it, he always trys to be funny, you can rarely see the sad truth about his life. well except that he always tried to die, but thats kinda funny too imo
User avatar #117 to #105 - RyanTheLeet (03/17/2014) [-]
The dying thing was first brought about back in the 1998 Deadpool annual, but it was more of a Waypool thing. Personally, I consider the era of Daniel Way to be Deadpool's lowest point. His style of writing really was all about Deadpool's comedic side and disregarded a lot of what Joe Kelly and Fabian Nicieza contributed to his continuity, and sadly it sorta rubbed off on Cullen Bunn (love his work with Venom). Posehn and Duggan have really done their best in taking everything from that was good from all 4 writers and putting it into the NOW! ongoing, and you can even see a change for the better from Bunn with Night of the Living Deadpool
#104 to #100 - assturtle (03/17/2014) [-]
Yeah he just screams depression.
#53 - jonraytall (03/17/2014) [-]
May or may not have been a failed comedian, who may or may not have agreed to work with the Red Hood gang for finacial support. May or may not have had a loving supportive wife, who may or may not have been pregnant with his child, and may or may not have been killed in a terrible accident. May or may not have leaped into a vat of chemicals to escape Batman, which may or may not have resulted in his appearance being altered and a total loss of his sanity. And may or may not be truly aware of his own identity and origin.

"...N'oh, what the heck, I'll laugh anyway! HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!"
#10 - mastercolossus (03/17/2014) [-]
his cancer is his regeneration so his body feels like it is continuously on fire.
one thing i want to see is tony star hiring him for a year of crime fighting.
User avatar #34 to #10 - freebrainsforall (03/17/2014) [-]
The reason he's fine with it is that his brain cells are constantly regenerating so he's gone insane.
User avatar #25 - realreality (03/17/2014) [-]
The thing is that when you go through something similar to what there super heroes except Deadpool went through you start to answer questions that no one normal ever asks themselves.

Did my father and mother die because I had left the theater earlier?

If my parents died in a freak accident and the same thing happened happened to my uncle years later maybe bad things only happen to people who are close to me?

If I can't even remember my past, it must be because of something bad and how could I morally support the idea of having people around me if those events were to repeat/catch up to me?

I am the equivalent of a god and yet I was raised with simple moralistic guidelines how could I ever let anyone get close to me? because if I end up making a mistake once everything that I hold true and have been raised to believe in gets destroyed? and that's a risk I can not take.

And then there's Deadpool, a guy who even before becoming a super being was essentially a loner who had an idea of his capability but was still restricted by physical aspects such as fatigue or recovery. A real autodidact if you will, then he goes in for a surgery to rid himself from the limit caused by the human form and ends up getting super abilities as flames cover his body. This guy isn't just funny nor is he a complete psychopath ( not saying he's not a psychopath, just saying he's not a complete one) but he's in a constant state of excruciating pain and he numbs the pain by making jokes and talking to himself, all the while knowing the fact that he will never die and the pain will never go away even though the only thing he wants is a way out.
User avatar #94 to #25 - gabrielcortez ONLINE (03/17/2014) [-]
Did Deadpool get a reboot or something where his origin changed? (I've just started reading Deadpool and finished the Classic a few days ago and just began Agent X)
User avatar #136 to #94 - realreality (03/18/2014) [-]
To my recollection he only got a reboot in that god awful movie but still the details of Deadpool's origins are widely disputed.
#109 - atrocitustheking (03/17/2014) [-]
I always felt that Supergirl, Krypto the Superdog, Superboy, Mon-El, et al, really ruined the whole "Last Son of Krypton" thing. The whole point of Superman is that he is the only remnant of a once-proud culture brought low by a whim of astronomy (or arrogance, depending on which one you're going with). That is, either their sun expanded or they killed their planet by burrowing into their core.
Let's not even mention the whole fiasco that was Super-Horse, Super-Cat, and Super-Monkey during the Silver Age.
#93 - xspencerxxx (03/17/2014) [-]
the bat man one is inaccurate batman loves each robin like a son
User avatar #131 to #93 - assturtle (03/17/2014) [-]
not in injustice.
#134 to #131 - xspencerxxx (03/18/2014) [-]
good point... he loved 3/4 of them like a son
User avatar #135 to #134 - assturtle (03/18/2014) [-]
There's been like seven Robins. Not even going to go into the multiverse **** . Batman was Robin at one point, too. And we all know he loves himself.
User avatar #98 to #93 - kommandantvideo (03/17/2014) [-]
#51 - finnishdude (03/17/2014) [-]
There's some weird **** going on the description
User avatar #9 - tylerneihoff (03/17/2014) [-]
So many inaccuracies in this post.
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