Gotta love porn. Dominate her: www.crackedsorcerer.com/post/1494/Dominate-her. WON We gas. -n w Int at '., intros In titled' but this {MEI takes than cake. if you are a girl in the ass and it hurts, you are doing it wrong. ladies, if a guy ever wants butt sex and he spits in his hand, you slap him hard. lotion, ky
x
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Comments(115):

 
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User avatar #31 - dacrimsonfucker (07/28/2014) [-]
Lemon Stealing Whores (Funniest Porn Intro Ever) best intro
#46 to #31 - fizzleshake (07/28/2014) [-]
"Hey what the **** !" is where i liked died
User avatar #100 to #42 - iridium (07/28/2014) [-]
Pewter City DJs - Pokeslam Title Screen (Quad City DJs vs Pokemon)
#85 - goddamnwizard (07/28/2014) [-]
maybe not solely a weird intro, but weird nonetheless.
User avatar #6 - insertsfunnyname (07/27/2014) [-]
I recognised the logo... I really need to get a boyfriend.
User avatar #37 to #6 - teasquid (07/28/2014) [-]
oh god what have you done
You shouldn't say "I really need to get a boyfriend" on funnyjunk unless you're a gay guy?
Trust me I speak from experience. My inbox had actually 20 messages from horny fedora'd "men".
#93 to #37 - John Cena (07/28/2014) [-]
Judging by your pictures I would say you're lying.
User avatar #114 to #93 - teasquid (07/28/2014) [-]
My profile picture is a drawing??
#9 to #6 - grantyboy (07/27/2014) [-]
Get off FJ and onto some dating website (not Grindr for the love of god, not there )
User avatar #24 to #6 - tylosaurus ONLINE (07/27/2014) [-]
tfw
User avatar #80 to #6 - theflamingfire (07/28/2014) [-]
You have very beautiful face
#87 to #6 - kulamia (07/28/2014) [-]
'I watch porn, i need a relationship'

Bitch please I am in a long term relationship but still watch porn.
User avatar #58 to #6 - sphincterface (07/28/2014) [-]
Oh god. What have you done.
#18 to #6 - John Cena (07/27/2014) [-]
You've come to the wrong place, then. The last girl who found a boyfriend on here ended up dating phanact.
User avatar #22 to #18 - insertsfunnyname (07/27/2014) [-]
Beggars can't be choosers.
#56 to #22 - John Cena (07/28/2014) [-]
while your standards are low...
*tip*
m'lady
User avatar #111 to #56 - insertsfunnyname (07/28/2014) [-]
I feel like i should point out that I'm male.
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#45 to #22 - irevolutions has deleted their comment [-]
#44 to #22 - John Cena (07/28/2014) [-]
guys are easy, offer sex for cheap and you will get loads of attention

my friend before she met me had 10 guys going at once and she had already cycled through a load
#81 to #44 - John Cena (07/28/2014) [-]
you made my dick hard.
User avatar #49 to #18 - fjaddictftw (07/28/2014) [-]
yeah, dont do it. dont date phanact.
User avatar #53 to #49 - phanact (07/28/2014) [-]
whats taht supposed to mean punk
User avatar #59 to #53 - fjaddictftw (07/28/2014) [-]
it means I love you
User avatar #48 to #18 - Sunset (07/28/2014) [-]
fjaddictftw
User avatar #1 - kiaserzerg (07/27/2014) [-]
if you are ******* a girl in the ass and it hurts, you are doing it wrong. ladies, if a guy ever wants butt sex and he spits in his hand, you slap him hard. lotion, ky jelly, whatever floats your goat for slippery, and seriously, a minimum of 3 days of prep, start with a pinky, and keep the clit happy while you got anything in your ass, after awhile you will be ready to actually get ass ****** . basic pavlovian training.
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#25 to #1 - greendaynimrod has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #26 to #25 - kiaserzerg (07/27/2014) [-]
Classical conditioning (also Pavlovian conditioning or respondent conditioning) is a kind of learning that occurs when a conditioned stimulus (CS) is paired with an unconditioned stimulus (US). Usually, the CS is a neutral stimulus (e.g., the sound of a tuning fork), the US is biologically potent (e.g., the taste of food) and the unconditioned response (UR) to the US is an unlearned reflex response (e.g., salivation). After pairing is repeated (some learning may occur already after only one pairing), the organism exhibits a conditioned response (CR) to the CS when the CS is presented alone. The CR is usually similar to the UR (see below), but unlike the UR, it must be acquired through experience and is relatively impermanent.[1]



the conditioned stimulus is playing with the clit, the uncoditioned is having it in her pooper, condition butt sex to good feelings=i like this.
User avatar #99 to #26 - PVTDickStryker ONLINE (07/28/2014) [-]
Wasnt there a guy who used the same method only with nicotene patches to make a girl addicted to his dick?
User avatar #103 to #99 - kiaserzerg (07/28/2014) [-]
not his dick, his presence, i know the story you are referencing.
User avatar #10 to #1 - timmity ONLINE (07/27/2014) [-]
who preps for 3 days? I anally masturbate sometimes, but months apart, each time I can take the same number of fingers, no prep. I had anal sex, giving, once, no prep, they enjoyed it, who the **** preps for that long? tards?
User avatar #11 to #10 - kiaserzerg (07/27/2014) [-]
people who werent born with the anal capacity of your father. and a lot of women need PAVLOVIAN TRAINING to get their body to accept anal sex as a pleasurable idea.
User avatar #12 to #11 - timmity ONLINE (07/27/2014) [-]
I wasn't insulting you, yet you just had to insult me?> You little **** , it wa with a friend by the way. And the idea is never pleasurable, it's just you need some sort of lube, not serious lube just something, pretty much anything slippier than water, but once it's in, for males it should stimulate anal nerves and the prostate, and females the anal nerves and, indirectly, the vaginal and cervical nerves. Also, the penis isn't 3 inches wide, it's not going to break anything.
User avatar #13 to #12 - kiaserzerg (07/27/2014) [-]
2 things, first, your comment that tards need training for anal sex, second, anal sex can be pleasurable, my girlfriend kind of prefers it for the most part, hence why i stated pavlovian training, which more or less asserts the body to not only accept but enjoy anal sex.
User avatar #30 to #10 - SirFail (07/28/2014) [-]
The difference being is that males have prostates to make it more pleasurable since its the male g-spot so the pain is muffled by the pleasure (if you take it slow and get used to it) whereas a woman would have more pain than pleasure if it was too soon. Also, as a whole, guys are generally larger than women so they probably have more 'capacity' so to speak which probably means less prep is needed.
User avatar #34 to #30 - timmity ONLINE (07/28/2014) [-]
i can spit on a can of deoderant and shove it up my ass with no pain
User avatar #91 to #10 - sinonyx (07/28/2014) [-]
you "analy masturbate sometimes but months apart) and when did you first do it? did you just take a cucumber and shove it up your ass? or did you start small?

someone who has never done anal before will not be able to just start shoving things up their ass

3ays prep before your first anal.. as you get used to it (which would take awhile) you'll only ever need to prep again if you've been a long time without anal sex
User avatar #112 to #91 - timmity ONLINE (07/28/2014) [-]
it takes like an hour training max
User avatar #113 to #112 - sinonyx (07/28/2014) [-]
one hour of training

you you'll be able to shove a dildo up your ass a year later


you're a special kind of retard
User avatar #115 to #113 - timmity ONLINE (07/28/2014) [-]
lol wut. I was able to use a dildo within like a day, which was max 2 hours
#14 to #1 - alucord (07/27/2014) [-]
MFW reading your comment
User avatar #96 to #1 - cdmin (07/28/2014) [-]
but thats not how its fun. if she likes it, its boring.
#20 to #1 - John Cena (07/27/2014) [-]
Or just slam it in there and **** her. What the **** do I care if she enjoys it. I find it painful to listen to her so she needs to be ass ****** .
#23 to #20 - digitalmasterx ONLINE (07/27/2014) [-]
because if she enjoys it, there will be more instances of said anal
User avatar #28 to #1 - xdiabolicx ONLINE (07/28/2014) [-]
butt plug master toy
#15 to #1 - John Cena (07/27/2014) [-]
Giving sex advice on funnyjunk when none of these fagts are gonna have sex
User avatar #19 to #15 - adplum (07/27/2014) [-]
>buttsex advice
>faggots
I dont see the problem here
User avatar #5 to #1 - Loppytaffy (07/27/2014) [-]
And also know that Durex lube is using PVA glue; globby and dry.
#90 to #1 - catburglarpenis (07/28/2014) [-]
He's right you know. Before I was voted gayest man on Earth, I had to slowly sit on a traffic cone. Over the course of weeks, every day I would slowly cram more and more of that cone into my asshole, and I would use a magic marker to mark my progress.

Eventually I got that whole traffic cone in my ass, where I then had major league baseball legend Mark McGuire chuck fastballs into my anus as hard as he could for a half an hour.

I came 48 times, and that's how I won the talent portion of the "gayest man ever" awards. What a wonderful experience.

420/10, would do again.
#2 to #1 - isonig (07/27/2014) [-]
Watching them writhe about is the best part though.
#3 to #2 - kanedam (07/27/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 to #3 - isonig (07/27/2014) [-]
You'll be back, they all come crawling back.
#7 to #4 - grantyboy (07/27/2014) [-]
Someone never had 3 days prep
#8 to #7 - isonig (07/27/2014) [-]
Only 6 day strep sorry.
User avatar #29 to #7 - profkitty (07/28/2014) [-]
heartlessrobot took bed post up the ass without any prep.
User avatar #69 to #29 - heartlessrobot (07/28/2014) [-]
I was also about 8 years old at the time and it was a complete accident.
User avatar #71 to #69 - profkitty (07/28/2014) [-]
I didn't know the age. Wasn't that the time the babysitter blew you too or something?
User avatar #73 to #71 - heartlessrobot (07/28/2014) [-]
Maybe. I think it was rimming. I was recently on a powerful acne medication and it completely ****** up my memory. Almost a year of my life completely disappeared, and that was the time that I was taking it. And a lot of events before and after have gone fuzzy. Hell I can't even remember what day of the week it is.
User avatar #76 to #73 - profkitty (07/28/2014) [-]
Sorry to hear that old chap, it maybe for the better, it all depends on how you look upon it in the +5 to 10 years.
User avatar #77 to #76 - heartlessrobot (07/28/2014) [-]
Well, right now I wish I had a time machine and a video camera, it was pretty ******* hot. I just can't remember if she sucked my dick or not.
#16 to #4 - kanedam (07/27/2014) [-]
i am back... **** , you were right
User avatar #84 to #4 - stormietheraver ONLINE (07/28/2014) [-]
with their asses in the air, ready to take all 12 inches of cock from big brother admin
#83 to #2 - John Cena (07/28/2014) [-]
"let me put my girlfriend in pain because she's doing something I suggested and was nice enough to say yes, lawl so funny."
#32 - gayboard (07/28/2014) [-]
Anal sex is one of the most annoying things to prep for but one of the most satisfying.
User avatar #109 to #32 - masturbakor (07/28/2014) [-]
i dunno man, i kindof enjoy douching, theres anal and prostate stimulation right there on its own.
especially if you unscrew the shower head, press the nozzle just inside your anus and jet water against your prostate. feels good man.
#74 to #32 - dehnoobshow (07/28/2014) [-]
And up to now is the only thing I have not been able to prepare for without arousing suspicion.
And up to now is the only thing I have not been able to prepare for without arousing suspicion.
#116 to #74 - psychodreadnought (07/28/2014) [-]
I wish to know where this gif comes from.
User avatar #39 to #32 - ThatFuckingGuy (07/28/2014) [-]
sauce pls
User avatar #40 to #39 - gayboard (07/28/2014) [-]
Po~ju
#50 to #40 - rdobet (07/28/2014) [-]
wat
User avatar #54 to #50 - demented (07/28/2014) [-]
to clarify the artist is Po-ju
User avatar #41 to #39 - popnotes (07/28/2014) [-]
I'd probably have to say it's semen
User avatar #102 to #39 - crazylance (07/28/2014) [-]
Po Ju Zappa Go Secret Journey
#61 to #32 - grimmwaters ONLINE (07/28/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#75 to #32 - mrdavidamnesia (07/28/2014) [-]
Wait... I've seen this before....
Wait... I've seen this before....
#43 to #32 - redzeopoweranger (07/28/2014) [-]
using a dildo for prep usually helps
#57 to #32 - DJFatcat (07/28/2014) [-]
Reverse image searched it.   
   
i thought it was a slightly masculine girl
Reverse image searched it.

i thought it was a slightly masculine girl
#62 - englman (07/28/2014) [-]
B-But what if she likes anal..
like..
A LOT..
Is my girlfriend the random girl in question amazing or broken?:|
User avatar #110 to #62 - masturbakor (07/28/2014) [-]
there is no "she" involved in that video, see the logo? thats gay porn
and its natural for girls to enjoy anal stimulation, since the walls of the anus share a wall with the walls of the vagina so when you're "slamming it in" ,she can feel it in her coochie
User avatar #65 to #62 - fuckmynuts (07/28/2014) [-]
No my girlfriend loves anal, most girls just arnt willing to try a second a time because it hurt the first time even at all but my girlfriend wants it in her ass all the time she ******* loves it
User avatar #104 to #65 - brothergrimm (07/28/2014) [-]
I hate you.....
#51 - rambomanthree (07/28/2014) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9YoX6YqHbo   
   
   
"honey i think she might be smoking marijuana"   
   
			*******		 lost it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9YoX6YqHbo


"honey i think she might be smoking marijuana"

******* lost it
#86 to #82 - rambomanthree (07/28/2014) [-]
tim and eric awesome show ftw
User avatar #55 - Loppytaffy (07/28/2014) [-]
For scientific purposes, has anyone got a link for the porno?
I would like to, again, clarify that it is in the name of science.
#60 to #55 - marcury (07/28/2014) [-]
not me, I wana see it for very non-scientific reasons.
User avatar #66 to #60 - aceshot (07/28/2014) [-]
look above
User avatar #63 to #55 - aceshot (07/28/2014) [-]
The website is You need to login to view this link
The Actors name is Christian Wilde (and it is gay porn)
The name of the video is "He Can Do It Better"
And yes it is hot, cause im a faggot.
#70 - uniden (07/28/2014) [-]
Best porn intro I've got. Does anyone have sauce?
Best porn intro I've got. Does anyone have sauce?
User avatar #79 to #70 - yorker (07/28/2014) [-]
i wanna know too
User avatar #92 to #70 - aceshot (07/28/2014) [-]
somebody posted the video awhile ago. I remember watching it, after this scene it skips to like a cuban mafia talking and then a hot girl comes along, it was very strange.
#95 - derpination (07/28/2014) [-]
Why bother sticking it in her pooper when you could stick it in her vagina?
#17 - John Cena (07/27/2014) [-]
That guy took the cake, a whole cake, that's as many as one cake, and that's bad.
User avatar #33 - fyffetimesmore (07/28/2014) [-]
seriously need some sauce
#47 to #33 - TwiztidNinja (07/28/2014) [-]
Faggot
Faggot
User avatar #35 to #33 - drhoffable (07/28/2014) [-]
its a gay porno, theres guna be plenty of sauce
User avatar #36 to #35 - fyffetimesmore (07/28/2014) [-]
I'd just like to add my sauce to that sauce
#27 - John Cena (07/28/2014) [-]
See, this is the story that I watch porn for.
#21 - asdfgzxcvb (07/27/2014) [-]
Does anyone have the source of that video those pics are from? for science, of course
User avatar #72 - slendermanspenis (07/28/2014) [-]
No anal doesn't hurt at all. I remember when I used to be like the girl until I actually tried, after I tried I can't get enough from my fiance. A word of advice if you do plan to experiment even if its a in and out thing that would last a minute or two LUBE THE **** UP.. Do not spit on your hand to use that as lube it won't work and it hurts just like your not using anything. Also, men.. When you go in (if you have never done anal sex before but want to) make sure to go slow and when you pull out go slow, going too fast you'll make your "playmate" **** themselves. Its never happened to me but I know people who its happened to.
User avatar #107 to #72 - demandsgayversion (07/28/2014) [-]
At that point, you're not ******** yourself, you're ******** both of you.
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#38 - CallMeCrisco has deleted their comment [-]
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