going to work be like
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#4
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flnonymousseven ONLINE (08/11/2015) [-] 
after weeks of dedication, I've finely tuned my sleep schedule so now I wake up naturally and wide awake at 6:30 AM every morning.
no alarm, no sleepiness
pic related
no alarm, no sleepiness
pic related
#57 to #4
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daemonicdemeanor (08/12/2015) [-] **daemonicdemeanor used "*roll picture*"**
**daemonicdemeanor rolled image**But how do you get off FunnyJunk and go to sleep?
**daemonicdemeanor rolled image**But how do you get off FunnyJunk and go to sleep?
#79 to #4
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dagreatmax (08/12/2015) [-] I find that it takes me 2 weeks of 38h of work and waking up at 6:30AM for work that I am able to finally wake up between 6:30 and 7 without any alarms and boy is it great.
#88 to #4
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herbolifee (08/12/2015) [-] This just won't happen to me. I've tried over and over, but I can't get myself to wake up naturally without being tired. It just won't happen.
#60 to #4
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BloodyTurds ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-]
Yea, but can you suck your own cock? I didn't think so!
#62 to #60
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flnonymousseven ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-] OF COURSE NOT DONT BE REDICULOUS THAT IS WHAT YOUR MOM IS FOR
#32 to #4
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rainbowrush ONLINE (08/11/2015) [-] I can't decide when to sleep, unfortunately. No amount of exercise, eating patterns, or other stuff has nay effects. Some weeks I sleep jst fine. Some weeks I don't sleep at all. Feels bad, man.
#28 to #18
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erotictentacle (08/11/2015) [-] thank you, i have a lot of problems meself getting up at 4:30~
My trick so far was to just shoot myself out of bed and make breakfast.... but that leaves me open to accidents
My trick so far was to just shoot myself out of bed and make breakfast.... but that leaves me open to accidents
#29 to #28
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flnonymousseven ONLINE (08/11/2015) [-] fo 4:30 roll back ALL times by 2 hours obviously.
yeah take a cold shower AS SOON as you wake up.
honestly? the bedtime routine is more important than the morning routine, do those steps right, get to sleep on time (that's where the drugs come in, they force you to fall asleep when you want to) and you will soon not even need an alarm.
yeah take a cold shower AS SOON as you wake up.
honestly? the bedtime routine is more important than the morning routine, do those steps right, get to sleep on time (that's where the drugs come in, they force you to fall asleep when you want to) and you will soon not even need an alarm.
#31 to #29
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erotictentacle (08/11/2015) [-] So much stuff.......
I am very grateful, but after reading this, i'll have to pass.
Not only because i would still have to buy so much stuff, but mainly because my morning routine is a total of 10min. I have a breakfast for 8min, get dressed in 2, then walk for 35min in the morning cold
But hey, your stuff is solid, my plan relies on me being able to get to the kitchen before i trip
I am very grateful, but after reading this, i'll have to pass.
Not only because i would still have to buy so much stuff, but mainly because my morning routine is a total of 10min. I have a breakfast for 8min, get dressed in 2, then walk for 35min in the morning cold
But hey, your stuff is solid, my plan relies on me being able to get to the kitchen before i trip
#16 to #7
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flnonymousseven ONLINE (08/11/2015) [-] you will need the following items:
1 - a loud as **** alarm www.amazon.com/Sonic-SBB500ss-Vibrating-Alarm-Cloc
2 - Melatonin, 10mg capsules www.amazon.com/Natrol-Melatonin-Dissolve-Tablets-C
3 - ZZzquil www.amazon.com/ZzzQuil-Nighttime-Sleep-Aid-Liquica
4 - any smartphone or multi alarm watch
5 - Self control app (or if you're on PC, an alternative) alternativeto.net/software/selfcontrol/
6 - optional: baby powder www.amazon.com/Johnsons-Baby-Powder-Cornstarch-Vit
warning: do not start this routine until you have ALL of the above listed materials. THESE DRUGS ARE HABIT FORMING AND WILL **** YOUR LIFE UP IF YOU USE THEM FOR LONGER THAN A FEW WEEKS AND BUILD A TOLERANCE. If after the routine ends, you have failed to fix your sleep schedule, discontinue the routine, take a break and then try again after a few weeks.
basically you want to set a smartphone/watch alarm for 9:00 pm, 9:15 pm and 9:30pm. (these times, and all times listed in this guide, are non-negotiable. do not "fudge them" or alter them )
set your loud as **** alarm for 6:30 at MAXIMUM VOLUME.
REARANGE YOUR ROOM
place your bed as far from your door as possible
place the alarm clock as close to the door as possible
every night, when your 9:00pm alarm goes off turn off all screens, and use the self control app to block every fun website: FJ, email, youtube, whatever the **** you do online instead of sleeping, block that **** for 12 hours. shut down your computer, unplug your computer, TV and Vidya. ACTUALLY ******* DO THIS.
IMPORTANT: now gather your clothes for the next day and place them downstairs. in the bathroom or on the couch.
take 10mg of melatonin and 2-3 zzzquil (depending on your size) with a cup of warm water or milk. drink the whole cup. if you're hungry, eat a light snack.
when the 9:15 alarm goes off, brush your teeth and get ready for bed as you normally do, wash your face, take a piss, wash your face, that zzzquil and melatonin are about to **** you up so no cooking or driving or socializing after this point. DO NOT SHOWER. you're a morning showerer now. check your loud as **** alarm to make sure it's set for 6:30 AM at MAX volume. put a towel and washcloth next to the alarm. on the floor or whatever. right in front of the door.
at the 9:30 PM alarm, turn off your phone, plug it in to charge DOWNSTAIRS.
go upstairs to your room, shut the door behind you, CHECK THE LOUD AS **** ALARM ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME TO MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT IT'S SET AND ON THE RIGHT TIME FOR AM.
turn off the light, close your windows, get naked. no PJs. optional: apply baby powder liberally to your balls, crotch and ass. I do this for comfort. It helps me fall asleep faster. don't judge me. It feels heavenly as **** .
now get into bed and ******* LAY THERE.
don't feel tired? **** you. lay there with your eyes closed. those drugs should be kicking in about now.
eventually, you WILL fall asleep.
you should wake up to the god awful shriek of the lout as **** alarm.
JUMP OUT OF BED AND SPRINT across your room as fast as you can, turn on the lights FIRST, then turn that alarm off. get your towel on and grab the washcloth and imediately leave your room and take a COLD shower.
I don't mean 'slightly luke warm'
COLD ************ . you don't have to even wash (atleast for the first day) just stand there in the cold downpour and suffer.) do this for a good 15 minutes. then get out of the bathroom,then
1 - a loud as **** alarm www.amazon.com/Sonic-SBB500ss-Vibrating-Alarm-Cloc
2 - Melatonin, 10mg capsules www.amazon.com/Natrol-Melatonin-Dissolve-Tablets-C
3 - ZZzquil www.amazon.com/ZzzQuil-Nighttime-Sleep-Aid-Liquica
4 - any smartphone or multi alarm watch
5 - Self control app (or if you're on PC, an alternative) alternativeto.net/software/selfcontrol/
6 - optional: baby powder www.amazon.com/Johnsons-Baby-Powder-Cornstarch-Vit
warning: do not start this routine until you have ALL of the above listed materials. THESE DRUGS ARE HABIT FORMING AND WILL **** YOUR LIFE UP IF YOU USE THEM FOR LONGER THAN A FEW WEEKS AND BUILD A TOLERANCE. If after the routine ends, you have failed to fix your sleep schedule, discontinue the routine, take a break and then try again after a few weeks.
basically you want to set a smartphone/watch alarm for 9:00 pm, 9:15 pm and 9:30pm. (these times, and all times listed in this guide, are non-negotiable. do not "fudge them" or alter them )
set your loud as **** alarm for 6:30 at MAXIMUM VOLUME.
REARANGE YOUR ROOM
place your bed as far from your door as possible
place the alarm clock as close to the door as possible
every night, when your 9:00pm alarm goes off turn off all screens, and use the self control app to block every fun website: FJ, email, youtube, whatever the **** you do online instead of sleeping, block that **** for 12 hours. shut down your computer, unplug your computer, TV and Vidya. ACTUALLY ******* DO THIS.
IMPORTANT: now gather your clothes for the next day and place them downstairs. in the bathroom or on the couch.
take 10mg of melatonin and 2-3 zzzquil (depending on your size) with a cup of warm water or milk. drink the whole cup. if you're hungry, eat a light snack.
when the 9:15 alarm goes off, brush your teeth and get ready for bed as you normally do, wash your face, take a piss, wash your face, that zzzquil and melatonin are about to **** you up so no cooking or driving or socializing after this point. DO NOT SHOWER. you're a morning showerer now. check your loud as **** alarm to make sure it's set for 6:30 AM at MAX volume. put a towel and washcloth next to the alarm. on the floor or whatever. right in front of the door.
at the 9:30 PM alarm, turn off your phone, plug it in to charge DOWNSTAIRS.
go upstairs to your room, shut the door behind you, CHECK THE LOUD AS **** ALARM ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME TO MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT IT'S SET AND ON THE RIGHT TIME FOR AM.
turn off the light, close your windows, get naked. no PJs. optional: apply baby powder liberally to your balls, crotch and ass. I do this for comfort. It helps me fall asleep faster. don't judge me. It feels heavenly as **** .
now get into bed and ******* LAY THERE.
don't feel tired? **** you. lay there with your eyes closed. those drugs should be kicking in about now.
eventually, you WILL fall asleep.
you should wake up to the god awful shriek of the lout as **** alarm.
JUMP OUT OF BED AND SPRINT across your room as fast as you can, turn on the lights FIRST, then turn that alarm off. get your towel on and grab the washcloth and imediately leave your room and take a COLD shower.
I don't mean 'slightly luke warm'
COLD ************ . you don't have to even wash (atleast for the first day) just stand there in the cold downpour and suffer.) do this for a good 15 minutes. then get out of the bathroom,then
#17 to #16
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flnonymousseven ONLINE (08/11/2015) [-] then head down stairs, DO NOT GO BACK TO YOUR ******* ROOM.
GO DOWN STAIRS WITH A TOWEL AROUND YOUR ASS.
get dressed in the downstairs bathroom.
NOW FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT PART:
go outside and take a 20 minute walk around the block.
just grab your keys and go, no phone, no nothing. just walk, smell the morning air, feel the crisp breeze. see the first rays on sunrise. then go home.
you WILL be tired.
It WILL suck
but you WILL get it right.
REPEAT THIS PROCESS EVERY NIGHT/MORNING FOR TWO WEEKS
this WILL fix your sleep schedule if you do it right.
GO DOWN STAIRS WITH A TOWEL AROUND YOUR ASS.
get dressed in the downstairs bathroom.
NOW FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT PART:
go outside and take a 20 minute walk around the block.
just grab your keys and go, no phone, no nothing. just walk, smell the morning air, feel the crisp breeze. see the first rays on sunrise. then go home.
you WILL be tired.
It WILL suck
but you WILL get it right.
REPEAT THIS PROCESS EVERY NIGHT/MORNING FOR TWO WEEKS
this WILL fix your sleep schedule if you do it right.
#41 to #36
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Mecuniv (08/11/2015) [-] Nah, cold showers are ******* amazing. They hydrate your skin, tighten your pores, regulate your sleep schedule, and help boost your immune system. I started taking cold showers, and at first it sucked getting used to, but now I love them. The icy water feels great.
#59 to #35
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flnonymousseven ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-] No, only untill you start waking up on your own, then you can push bedtime back to 10 ir 10:30 BUT NOT LATER, you need 8 hrs for this to work.
#30 to #24
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flnonymousseven ONLINE (08/11/2015) [-] but yeah routines only don't help if you don't follow them.
the drugs just help you force your body to sleep when you want it to. if you do it right, you shouldn't need to use drugs for more than a week or so.
the drugs just help you force your body to sleep when you want it to. if you do it right, you shouldn't need to use drugs for more than a week or so.
#26 to #24
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flnonymousseven ONLINE (08/11/2015) [-] the drugs are only temporary. only use them for 2 weeks to ADJUST your schedule, not MAINTAIN it.
#69 to #16
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cabbagemayhem (08/12/2015) [-] Self-control software sucks
Self-control software invariably cuts me off during something important, and I end up hacking it to finish what I'm doing.
Instead, get a blue-light dimmer application like flux. Video screens emit blue light that resets your internal clock. Flux reduces the color temperature of your screen at night, reducing the effects. Expose yourself to sunlight in the mornings to reset your internal clock.
DO NOT use 10mg melatonin capsules
Melatonin is a hormone, not a normal drug. Smaller doses are less damaging and more effective. Use 80-300 mcg (that's MICRO grams, not grams). If you wind down and let the melatonin work, you won't need zzzquil.
Self-control software invariably cuts me off during something important, and I end up hacking it to finish what I'm doing.
Instead, get a blue-light dimmer application like flux. Video screens emit blue light that resets your internal clock. Flux reduces the color temperature of your screen at night, reducing the effects. Expose yourself to sunlight in the mornings to reset your internal clock.
DO NOT use 10mg melatonin capsules
Melatonin is a hormone, not a normal drug. Smaller doses are less damaging and more effective. Use 80-300 mcg (that's MICRO grams, not grams). If you wind down and let the melatonin work, you won't need zzzquil.
#40 to #4
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ILoveFurries (08/11/2015) [-] tfw you can't ever wake up at a reasonable hour because you sleepwalk to turn off your alarm no matter where you put it.
I've put it up on the highest shelf in my room, I've taped it to my spinning ceiling fan, I've put it under my bed. No matter where I put it, I always wake up with it off and next to my bed.
I've put it up on the highest shelf in my room, I've taped it to my spinning ceiling fan, I've put it under my bed. No matter where I put it, I always wake up with it off and next to my bed.
#71 to #47
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unikornking (08/12/2015) [-] I fell guilty when I post a funny image I saved from someone else and it gets a lot of thumbs I normally add an image to make my comment stand out more
#66 to #42
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darkjustifier (08/12/2015) [-] its never taken much to get top comment, it's how I keep my thumb count up, I decide to be clever and bring it back up for a week
#73
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TheBigGummyBear ONLINE (08/12/2015) [-] The ground looks cold and wet, and he was lying on it with his nice blanket and bare body.
mfw
mfw
#86
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ponybait (08/12/2015) [-] i dont find this kind of ableist humor funny at all
this is a legitmitate problem among the disabled community and discrimination against the disabled peoples of america is something we have to make everyone sure they're aware about so they can have the same rights as us abled people do and making jokes about disability is NOT helping.
sorry for the rant but it must be said.
this is a legitmitate problem among the disabled community and discrimination against the disabled peoples of america is something we have to make everyone sure they're aware about so they can have the same rights as us abled people do and making jokes about disability is NOT helping.
sorry for the rant but it must be said.
#93
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anon (09/06/2015) [-]
Japanese Game Show 2015 - Funny video 2015
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIRc83CX_6U
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIRc83CX_6U
#92
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daokingly (09/06/2015) [-]
Japanese Game Show 2015 - Funny video 2015
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIRc83CX_6U
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIRc83CX_6U
#12 to #2
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racistwhiteboy (08/11/2015) [-] **racistwhiteboy used "*roll 1, pokemon*"**
**racistwhiteboy rolls Crawdaunt**
**racistwhiteboy rolls Crawdaunt**
