Girls Don't Like to be Punched. .. In my clients defense he didn't punch her so she kissed his forehead at a high speed and fell down from the arousal she felt. Therefore I find my client not gui


What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#14 - angelusprimus (06/07/2014) [-]
Back in college this drunk aggressive chick starts to push me hit me and **** , because she thought I took her drink. Her drink was behind her on the bar.
I don't hit girls so I'm just standing there trying to reason with a drunk bitch, when my best friend, 5'2 blonde pixie girl, weighting maybe 80 lbs with her clothes on, walks up behind her taps he on her shoulder, picks up her drink and goes.
"Hey bitch, here is your drink" throws the drink in her face and then headbutts her in the nose.
#68 to #14 - drizztrocks (06/07/2014) [-]
Why did you have to point out that your pixie friend had clothes on, couldn't we assume that?
User avatar #77 to #68 - newforomador (06/07/2014) [-]
He meant that she weighed 80 lbs with her clothes on. As in she would weight even less without.
#79 to #77 - drizztrocks (06/07/2014) [-]
Thanks. I've always got a hot steamy creampie waiting for you if you want one. Just a thank you token.
User avatar #74 to #68 - anonshenanigans (06/07/2014) [-]
Maybe he's just so alpha, most people would assume they weren't on in his presence?
#75 to #74 - drizztrocks (06/07/2014) [-]
Wanna get creampied?
#73 to #14 - zebrawaffles (06/07/2014) [-]
here have a gif
here have a gif

User avatar #40 to #14 - ICEDgrunge (06/07/2014) [-]
She's a keeper
#20 to #14 - anon (06/07/2014) [-]
arousal level over 9000
#59 to #24 - wbrehmer (06/07/2014) [-]
**wbrehmer rolls 8,467**
**wbrehmer rolls 8,467**
#64 to #59 - zmranger (06/07/2014) [-]
**zmranger rolls 6,567** Let me show you how it's done.
User avatar #19 to #14 - chaossniper ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
flat is justice
#8 - ironsoul ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
I'm not sure that was even a girl
I'm not sure that was even a girl
User avatar #23 to #8 - zahnrad (06/07/2014) [-]
The more times I watch this...
#45 to #8 - furiousmarshmellow (06/07/2014) [-]
What the 			****		.
What the **** .
User avatar #17 to #8 - payseht ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
god, I hated the trailer for this show so much...
#21 to #8 - siriusfakk (06/07/2014) [-]
User avatar #35 to #21 - canardlucide (06/07/2014) [-]
"mr pickles good boy" on youtube
#22 to #8 - anon (06/07/2014) [-]
Mr. Pickles Pilot
#54 to #22 - anon (06/07/2014) [-]
I loved it.
#34 to #8 - jimmytwoshoes (06/07/2014) [-]
uuhhhhh..... what the **** ?
#10 to #8 - anotheroneonearth (06/07/2014) [-]
that gif is just horrifying
#11 to #10 - ironsoul ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
User avatar #58 to #10 - flomosho (06/07/2014) [-]
You mean that gif is just whoreifying

Get it? Because the dog dressed up like a whore.
I regret nothing
#1 - evilhomer (06/06/2014) [-]
In my clients defense he didn't punch her so she kissed his forehead at a high speed and fell down from the arousal she felt. Therefore I find my client not guilty
I rest my case.
#52 to #1 - dross (06/07/2014) [-]
I have no reaction images titled 'lawyer' so I don't have to add obtuse numbers when saving this image, result!   
gif sorta related
I have no reaction images titled 'lawyer' so I don't have to add obtuse numbers when saving this image, result!

gif sorta related
#13 - whimwhamwaffle (06/07/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #42 to #13 - elmarcocfc (06/07/2014) [-]
This is still one of the best gifs of all time.
#46 - shaddz ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
**shaddz rolled image** MFW punching a girl
**shaddz rolled image** MFW punching a girl
User avatar #76 to #46 - anonshenanigans (06/07/2014) [-]
User avatar #80 to #76 - shaddz ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
#72 to #46 - jaqounte (06/07/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #55 to #46 - richardastley ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
******* wonderful roll, my friend.
#25 - haveashittyday (06/07/2014) [-]
#28 to #25 - plwmar ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#37 to #25 - datmine ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
[that speech about over 500 kills and gorrila warfare thing]
#18 - grimmwaters ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
At least he kept his word.
At least he kept his word.
#26 - sanbonzakura (06/07/2014) [-]
judges FW
can anyone tell me where this is from? please its my birth day and i would like to laugh a little
#29 to #26 - anon (06/07/2014) [-], best **** ever
**** yeah i became useful
#33 to #29 - sanbonzakura (06/07/2014) [-]
thank you very much but actually i was wondering about the oc
sorry for bursting your bubble
User avatar #31 to #26 - YllekNayr ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
Happy Birthday. Oglaf is 1 part comic 2 parts porn
User avatar #32 to #31 - sanbonzakura (06/07/2014) [-]
thank you my friend
but i was wondering there the gif in the content was from
ofcourse any selfrespected internet pervert man such as myself would know about the glorious oglaf
User avatar #41 - HailtotheKing (06/07/2014) [-]
Story time! So this is the only time I've ever hit a girl.

A few years ago I picked up boxing as a hobby. I found this really cheap gym sandwiched between a Mexican restaurant and a travel agency (that would be later **** down for tax fraud) and started going there regularly. Awesome place; nice people, all the equipment you need, and open eighteen hours a day so I could get in a work out whenever I wanted. Eventually I got good enough to actually fight and not just hit a bag so I paired up with a few people and started to get good. Learned all the different punches, learned how to use all the different machines, learned everything I could about everything in that ****** gym.

As you could guess I became a regular there and practically lived there. Every second that I had free I spent there. I would work over a heavy bag to become stronger or hit a speed bag to get a good rhythm down. I got REALLY good at punching things hard and fast. Like with any place I made friends with the people around me and started to work with them in the ring and with equipment. while some of the guys were good at uppercuts or hooks I had one punch that would shut people down: the right cross.

The right cross was a power punch, it took longer to preform than a jab or a hook but if you could land it in the right place your opponent went down like a sack of bricks. Naturally I trained that more than any other punch. I could find openings better than anyone and got it so quick that my opponent wouldn't even see it coming. I also boxed with these dark red gloves on so one of the other people I trained with called it the "Right Hand of Doom" from the Hellboy comics. I loved that name. I started calling it that myself, wrote it on my gloves, even put up "Hellboy" on the fight sheet as a nick name. Silly, I know, but it made me feel good. like I actually had a name for myself in this place.

This is a long story so I'll continue in a reply.
User avatar #43 to #41 - HailtotheKing (06/07/2014) [-]
This is in Chicago and gyms are pretty common. A few blocks over was this MEGA gym called "Patriot Boxing" that sucked up a lot of the people, meaning that ours got very little and was a primary reason why it was so ****** . It was just like Planet Fitness or XSport, huge establishments that thrive off monthly payments even if the clients don't show up. Occasionally, though, we would get people who transferred from there to our ****** little gym and we made them part of the group. Such was the case for Alice.

Alice was this tiny girl. Barely broke five and a half feet, no muscle on her arms, and a jaw that looked like it would break if a stiff wind hit her but if you know much about boxing then you realize that tiny is better than huge. A tiny frame lets you get up close so a bigger person can't use their full strength, also allows you to work over the body more than the face but still give a dangerous uppercut in the right position. Which is exactly what she did. She used her size to her advantage.

She was always super friendly and a pleasure to be around. Kept to herself mostly but was social when she wanted to be, the kind of person that's good to have in your life. But in the ring? She was a monster. Took down these giant guys that no one had even though of touching before. She had this way of making you put your guard up then sliding in to get in a rib shot before ducking back and doing it again. It was death by a thousand cuts. Her matches would last six or seven rounds and by the end of it her opponent would be on the ground clutching their sides like children. Eventually she moved up the ranks of our ****** gym and finally got to me.
User avatar #47 to #43 - HailtotheKing (06/07/2014) [-]
Now I'm a big guy. 6'3, 270 (though mostly fat) and enough muscle to at least intimidate someone. Compared to me Alice was a church mouse. Still, when the fight came she didn't back down and just kept jokingly saying how she was going to put me in a body bag, like Foreman did to Ali.

One thing I forgot to mention, Alice had her own punch like I had the Right Hand of Doom. A left cross right to the lower jaw that would easily dislocate the bone of even a seasoned fighter. I called it the "Root Canal" because everyone who got hit by it felt like they just had major dental surgery without Novocain.

The day of the fight comes and I'm pumped. Even if I lose to this girl I'm still going to have a good time. I spend the morning working over the reflex bag to train myself a little bit then start the speed bag. I need to be quick here, not strong. She had the opposite idea, she worked on the heavy then spared for a while. Even though it was a friendly fight i woulds still feel good if I won since she destroyed everyone before me and she would probably feel awesome to beat the biggest guy at the gym. So we both had at least a small amount of pride on the line.

Eventually the time comes along and we both step into the ring. We touch gloves, head back to our corners, and now I realize that EVERYONE has showed up to watch me get the **** kicked out of me. Ten people on any side of the ring all waiting for Alice to give Hellboy a root canal. Now I start to get nervous. Now I realize that even if I win I'm going to look like a giant jackass for beating up a tiny girl that can't even fit into my gloves and if I lose I will have been beaten up by that same person.
User avatar #50 to #47 - HailtotheKing (06/07/2014) [-]
Fight starts, I go easy. No giant punches or fancy foot work, just light jabs to east the water. Alice did not have that same mentality. She treated me like that slab of beef that Rock beat up. In the first round alone she broke two of my floating ribs and gave my an uppercut that made me see stars. Once the round is over, though, she could tell that I was easy on her. From across the ring she starts to yell at me.
"Seriously?! Throw some damn punches already. I KNOW you can do better than that, I've seen that right cross from the bench, now I want to see it in person!"

People started laughing, I started to feel my side ache, and now I could barely see straight. This had to end now. Round two starts and there is no more holding back. I throw these wild hooks that barely even connect and she keeps hitting my ribs like they owed her money. A few more crack and my entire body is screaming to just knock this tiny girl out already. She does the move to get in close and dance around me but I see her entire body turn for the root canal. She lowers her guard to throw it and I see the opening I've been looking for; an exposed cheek. I crank back my arm and throw that punch that has knocked out a half dozen guys before her. BAM! It connects and I see her eyes roll around in her head like a Daffy Duck cartoon. She hits the canvas and the coach starts counting.

There is a look that an opponent will give you when they know it's all over. It's not shame or hopelessness like you might think but a look of acceptance. Like "I tried my best and it wasn't good enough. Now I can stop getting hurt and get out of the ring" She gave me that look. The coach gets to ten and I help her up off the floor.

"You asked for it, sorry it was so hard."
"Are you kidding me? That was great! I'm going to fight you again in a week and I want more of that!" She was bleeding from her mouth but still managed to flash me a smile before cleaning herself up and going back to training.
User avatar #69 to #50 - eggrolls (06/07/2014) [-]
For some reason, she sounds a lot like Vanellope from Wreck it Ralph
User avatar #53 to #50 - marinepenguin (06/07/2014) [-]
You just made me want to start boxing.

Too bad weight training will always be my baby.
User avatar #56 to #53 - HailtotheKing (06/07/2014) [-]
You aren't too far away from it , actually. a lot of the other guys at the gym either came from lifting weights or started lifting if they left. It's not a terribly hard transition from lifting really heavy things to punching really heavy people.
User avatar #57 to #56 - marinepenguin (06/07/2014) [-]
That's true, I'll probably end up taking it up as a hobby along with lifting as well. It'd be good to widen my horizons a little bit.
User avatar #63 to #43 - divinecreator (06/07/2014) [-]
hey hellboy i also live in chicago i just started boxing at a place called southside knockout but im open to trying other gyms whats the name and location of yours if ya dont mind telling
User avatar #66 to #63 - HailtotheKing (06/07/2014) [-]
The places was just called "Kevin's Boxing Gym" when I joined but was then renamed to "The Ring" about a year later. Unfortunately The Ring was torn down to make room for a new section of apartments along with the plaza it was in before I moved to the suburbs.
User avatar #49 to #43 - lanfearandthecup (06/07/2014) [-]
sooo is this the end? i assume not since it took you 13 mins to make the second reply...ill keep a look out
User avatar #51 to #49 - HailtotheKing (06/07/2014) [-]
NOW it's done.
User avatar #48 to #43 - smartasshobo (06/07/2014) [-]
More bitch, I want MORE.
#30 - swordwoman (06/07/2014) [-]
When he said that he would never hit a girl. She had a little small feeling of save-ness, and that disappeared when he ******* smashed her skull with his.

******* priceless.
User avatar #44 - mrgoodlove (06/07/2014) [-]
He gave her head instead
User avatar #71 - childpls (06/07/2014) [-]
As long as women have the right to hit me back I have no problem punching them.
User avatar #67 - vgmddg ONLINE (06/07/2014) [-]
Can someone give me a still of the last frame or so?
#38 - gtfomylawnbish (06/07/2014) [-]
"The Way Of The Gun" Sarah Silverman Punch Out!

some women should be punched in the mouth.
#27 - markin (06/07/2014) [-]
what film is this from?
User avatar #70 to #27 - chewiewhatawookie (06/07/2014) [-]
Men Alone 2: The KY Connection.
#39 to #27 - anon (06/07/2014) [-]
when 			*******		 tongue my anus 2
when ******* tongue my anus 2
User avatar #16 - colincub (06/07/2014) [-]
What about donkey punch?
#15 - dkedr (06/07/2014) [-]
I'm just gonna ram my head into her face ;)
#12 - anon (06/07/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled image** Who I would punch
**anonymous rolled image** Who I would punch
#9 - anon (06/07/2014) [-]
whats this from?
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