GTA V logic. All credit goes to Dorkly. VICTIM. WELL. LIKE 45 GUNSHOT WOUNDS. TO BE SPECIFIC. ALSO, CAR CRASH. WELL, SEVERAL CAR CRASHES. WE LOST COUNT. ALSO, H
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GTA V logic

GTA V logic. All credit goes to Dorkly. VICTIM. WELL. LIKE 45 GUNSHOT WOUNDS. TO BE SPECIFIC. ALSO, CAR CRASH. WELL, SEVERAL CAR CRASHES. WE LOST COUNT. ALSO, H

All credit goes to Dorkly

VICTIM. WELL. LIKE 45 GUNSHOT
WOUNDS. TO BE SPECIFIC. ALSO, CAR CRASH.
WELL, SEVERAL CAR CRASHES. WE LOST COUNT.
ALSO, HE. HI. JACI{ ED AND CI" -SASHED A '74' 7,
NY GOD - IS THIS THE GUY FROM THE
NEWS? I SAW HE SHOT LIKE 40 COPS. DID
YOU BRING ANY OF THE!!! IN?
WHAT? no IUD. we new up,
LIKE, an Tile we I
SENT. BUT' runs causes .
HIE:
GOT A CHANCE AT PULLING
THROUGH. DOC!’
UH. RIGHT. JUST MT SURE IF Int TOTALLY
PERFORMING SURGERY TO SAVE A
TERRORIST WHILE WE' RE JUST
GONNA IGNORE Tile HUNDREDS OF COPS AND
CIVILIANS HE INJURED.
one Tus at, N' S STILL. am" A
puma. ALSO, we ALREADY TOOK ms
5500 COPLAY, .
FINE! WE' LL PROVIDE
MEDICAL CARE FOR THIS
GENOCIDAL
PSYCHOPATH. WHICH HILL
COST US HUNDREDS op
OF DOLLARS.
WHILE. TOTALLY IGNORING
THE INNOCENTS HE
WNW. I MEAN, AT
LEAST HE' LL MT IN
PRISON FOR THE REST' OF
Ties LIFE AFTER THIS.
EMERGENCY! WE GOT AN EMERGENCY.‘
letit CRUSIFIED
747 INTO A BUS FALLED WITH
...
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Views: 75007
Favorited: 133
Submitted: 10/04/2013
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Comments(152):

[ 152 comments ]
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#74 - aesis (10/05/2013) [-]
So glad that GTA Online is finally working.   
The past two hours have just been a blast.   
   
>Server full of 12 year olds in 2 seperate crews   
>No planes at the airport   
>Military base is closed at the entrance    
>"waa i want planes"   
>Use my super secret method of jumping a slope into the military base   
>Steal a fighter jet and get away without even being hit once   
>Find all those kids   
>They are having races at the race track   
>Fly over   
>"holy 			****		 where did you get that"   
>Turn around and begin shooting missiles down while they are racing   
>Kill 3 of them   
>One of them literally screams so 			*******		 loud into the mic   
>The other ones start calling me a faggot   
>Continue blowing them up whenever I fly by   
>Get bored and leave them alone for a while   
>See them all at the entrance to the base trying to find a way in   
>Suicide bomb into them   
>"WHAT THE 			****		 YOU STUPID 			*******		 FAGGOT 			****		 YOU"
So glad that GTA Online is finally working.
The past two hours have just been a blast.

>Server full of 12 year olds in 2 seperate crews
>No planes at the airport
>Military base is closed at the entrance
>"waa i want planes"
>Use my super secret method of jumping a slope into the military base
>Steal a fighter jet and get away without even being hit once
>Find all those kids
>They are having races at the race track
>Fly over
>"holy **** where did you get that"
>Turn around and begin shooting missiles down while they are racing
>Kill 3 of them
>One of them literally screams so ******* loud into the mic
>The other ones start calling me a faggot
>Continue blowing them up whenever I fly by
>Get bored and leave them alone for a while
>See them all at the entrance to the base trying to find a way in
>Suicide bomb into them
>"WHAT THE **** YOU STUPID ******* FAGGOT **** YOU"
#80 to #74 - fatalhermit (10/05/2013) [-]
gonna try that, sounds funny, it will make me remember the old time where i played gta 4 and i was ramming cars with an helicopter IN A TUNNEL then getting out of there as fast as i can
-1
#107 to #74 - johrny has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #122 to #74 - tacogrenade (10/05/2013) [-]
DOUBT... would of been kicked from the game..
User avatar #124 to #122 - aesis (10/05/2013) [-]
You can't get kicked from freemode.
User avatar #126 to #124 - tacogrenade (10/05/2013) [-]
I did..
User avatar #149 to #124 - unikornking ONLINE (10/09/2013) [-]
Actually you can, I joined a random game and was robbing stores and driving down the road when a heli starts chasing me. Before I could get to the tunnel it said something like "the players have kicked you from the game"
User avatar #151 to #149 - huntergriff ONLINE (10/09/2013) [-]
Perhaps no one knew at the time?
User avatar #131 to #74 - srskate (10/05/2013) [-]
People don't know about that jump?

I;ve been doing it on a motorcycle since I started playing.
#133 to #74 - triggathepirate (10/05/2013) [-]
Reading this I heard An american trilogy in my head.
You bomb them.
You bomb them ******* kids for the king!
User avatar #83 to #74 - hibbydibby (10/05/2013) [-]
I wouldn't say your method is very secret. That's the method the guys at Achievement Hunter used in the latest VS. episode
#114 to #74 - biot (10/05/2013) [-]
Wish I saw that!
Wish I saw that!
#116 to #96 - anon (10/05/2013) [-]
what else would you do in a game like gta?
#110 to #74 - swedishviking (10/05/2013) [-]
WORTH
WORTH
#120 to #74 - yisumad (10/05/2013) [-]
I would pay to watch that.
I would pay to watch that.
#153 to #120 - thalfak (10/09/2013) [-]
Me too
Me too
#78 to #74 - PolarFroster (10/05/2013) [-]
>Be me   
>Hit rank 25   
>Steal car and buy ignition bomb   
>Coax 12 y/o into taking my car instead of killing me   
>Walk across street and laugh manically as he explodes   
>Repeat with multiple victims, all ending in a rage quit
>Be me
>Hit rank 25
>Steal car and buy ignition bomb
>Coax 12 y/o into taking my car instead of killing me
>Walk across street and laugh manically as he explodes
>Repeat with multiple victims, all ending in a rage quit
User avatar #94 to #78 - cazabrow (10/05/2013) [-]
how exactly do you "coax" someone into taking your car? they'd see you, shoot you and then take it anyway.
User avatar #147 to #94 - PolarFroster (10/07/2013) [-]
"Hay plss don't kill me, have my car instead"
#148 to #74 - megusters ONLINE (10/09/2013) [-]
Did that yesterday and killed myself on purpose. I got called a 			******		 by 13 Mexicans for about 6 hours straight.
Did that yesterday and killed myself on purpose. I got called a ****** by 13 Mexicans for about 6 hours straight.
User avatar #152 to #148 - mexicandudeinsd ONLINE (10/09/2013) [-]
i can confirm i am mexican hahaha
User avatar #150 to #148 - tomtomvdp ONLINE (10/09/2013) [-]
You just described the entire internet in one sentence.
User avatar #8 - I Am Monkey (10/04/2013) [-]
I like how if you get killed you lose $5000 max, but if you get arrested they take all your ammo, which costs far more than just dying.
User avatar #25 to #8 - aherorising (10/05/2013) [-]
you can get arrested?
User avatar #26 to #25 - I Am Monkey (10/05/2013) [-]
Yea, either the cops pull you out of the car and cuff you or they point their guns at you and you don't move.
User avatar #27 to #8 - jalthelas ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
I haven't been arrested once.

I like to go out with a bang.
User avatar #28 to #8 - mjjrussell **User deleted account** (10/05/2013) [-]
I have never been arrested in GTA5. I either get away or they kill me. There is no giving up.
User avatar #84 to #8 - hibbydibby (10/05/2013) [-]
I got arrested once just to see what would happen. 0/10 would not do again.
#15 to #8 - tender (10/05/2013) [-]
Once you unlock all the weapons, and get to shooting lvl 100, it takes me a little over $90,000 to get my ammo, grenades, and armor back. Atleast its ALOT harder to get busted in this one, Ive played for more than 50 hours and only been busted 3 times total
#32 to #15 - CommonJoo ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
3 times huh. Filthy casual

busta, straight busta
User avatar #34 to #32 - hueareyou (10/05/2013) [-]
shieet Ryder, suck my dick man. always on my **** 24/7, man. You balla aidin ********** I shoulda popped a cap in yo ass back in the grove, man.
#44 to #15 - gerfox (10/05/2013) [-]
I've played 64 hours, and I have yet to be busted...
User avatar #16 to #15 - Shramin ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
You've been busted? How do people get busted? I have gotten busted once in my lifetime of playing GTA, most times I die before they even get the chance.
#17 to #16 - tender (10/05/2013) [-]
Its ridiculously easy to get busted in Vice city and SA, the ******* ram you and grab your car door and boom insta bust. But the few times ive been busted on this one is i never fire fast enough. I hide behind a wall or in a car waiting for the perfect time to strike, Then a cop will rush me and before i can Dome him he draws his gun and boom, busted.
User avatar #21 to #17 - karson (10/05/2013) [-]
when that happens, I just smash all the buttons, and somehow my player jumps, and saves me from being busted. but the cop will try to blow you away, fyi.
User avatar #18 to #17 - Shramin ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
Huh, I am generally always running or driving if I am not shooting, maybe that's a piece of it?
#19 to #18 - tender (10/05/2013) [-]
Yea im real cynical in game, try to be realistic, So i slam on my breaks if the cops are chasing me, turn the car sideways and start ******* spraying with the AP pistol busting tires and heads through windsheilds, Or take over the Ammunation and hide behind the counter and go until i die. Got busted reloading my MG. **** is so cash i going to play this **** right now
#22 to #19 - tender (10/05/2013) [-]
Good tip. Good advice on stocks, Invest 20m-all your money on a stock that is near its "Low" price, then keep killing yourself watching the stock everytime you respawn. Got lucky as **** on cluckinbell and made 250m on a 15m investment
User avatar #30 to #22 - skaffanl (10/05/2013) [-]
Thanks bro I´ll try it out.
User avatar #81 to #15 - maxismahname ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
I didn't even know you could get busted. THey don't even try to arrest you they just shoot the **** out of you
#24 - Temperance (10/05/2013) [-]
To quote themselves...
0
#91 to #24 - cazabrow has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #37 to #24 - fuzzyballs (10/05/2013) [-]
and that's why he annoys me, he keeps contradicting himself
there is no real world logic, only gameplay logic
would you really want to get a permanent "game over" when you die, forcing you to restart? **** naw
User avatar #85 to #37 - schneidend (10/05/2013) [-]
Some games have that as a game mode, usually called Iron Man Mode. Even in games where that option doesn't exist, some people will delete their save if they die.
User avatar #86 to #85 - fuzzyballs (10/05/2013) [-]
"some people"
gaming companies make games for the majority of people

your logic is flawed
User avatar #88 to #86 - schneidend (10/05/2013) [-]
Eh, what? My statement wasn't really an argument. It is a fact that I was letting you know about, that some games have no-reload options and there are people who do no-reload runs of certain games like Fallout, Baldur's Gate, or Deus Ex.
User avatar #42 - charmanda (10/05/2013) [-]
Story time bitches:
>chillin on marina
>#ishouldbuyaboat
>cop walks up to me
>bumps into me
>"watch where you're going!"
>wut
>he pushes me away
>starts shooting me
>1 star wanted level
>all because i was Franklin
User avatar #48 to #42 - sirhyden (10/05/2013) [-]
Yep, there is a level of racisim in it, only way to respond is heavy machine gun fire!
User avatar #66 to #48 - maffi (10/05/2013) [-]
*minigun
User avatar #9 - konradkurze (10/04/2013) [-]
GTA logic: get shot to **** , still capable of being healed

Battlefield Logic: get hit by artillery strike, still enough of you left for medic to simply revive with paddles
#53 to #9 - transgendered (10/05/2013) [-]
every video game logic ever: If you die and cant get back up, the game isnt fun any more.
User avatar #55 to #53 - konradkurze (10/05/2013) [-]
oh theres plenty of fun games out there where if you die thats it...and you have to load from a save files/autosave/checkpoint

#56 to #55 - transgendered (10/05/2013) [-]
Thats what I was trying to say with the 'get back up', but I suck at explaining stuff.
#45 to #9 - gerfox (10/05/2013) [-]
Call of Duty Logic: Get shot in the head, regenerates to full health.
Call of Duty Logic: Get shot in the head, regenerates to full health.
#73 - BillyRyan (10/05/2013) [-]
Actually, that doctor is bound by the Hippocratic Oath to help any patient in an emergency, no matter how despicable that person might be. Intentionally causing someone to die for personal reasons or beliefs would be in violation of the Geneva Conventions.
User avatar #75 to #73 - sanguinesolitude (10/05/2013) [-]
as long as he bumps into someone on the street, causing the police to shoot him 30 times, he wont be arrested.
User avatar #141 to #75 - BigDoktor (10/05/2013) [-]
dude what
User avatar #142 to #141 - sanguinesolitude (10/05/2013) [-]
you dont get arrested if you go to the hospital. thus if the doctor kills you, he just needs to get injured to avoid getting in trouble for it.
#145 to #142 - BigDoktor (10/06/2013) [-]
Okay. So you're making a joke.
User avatar #146 to #145 - sanguinesolitude (10/06/2013) [-]
i was trying unsuccessfully apparently
#11 - danzey (10/05/2013) [-]
Taking 45 gunshots in GTA5? No ******* chance, more like 3.
User avatar #59 to #11 - thisisrarity (10/05/2013) [-]
your health regenerates to 50%
User avatar #29 to #11 - niklamacz (10/05/2013) [-]
Shotguns usually do more gun wounds in 1 shot
User avatar #87 to #11 - schneidend (10/05/2013) [-]
Trevor.
#93 - TehFunnyMan (10/05/2013) [-]
I love Dorkly, but Yahtzee said it best.
User avatar #95 to #93 - diliges ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
Dorkly does whatever they think funny for whatever reason. Yahtzee on the other hand does it because it's how he feels and it's ******* awesome listening to him about it.
#128 to #93 - yoshiware (10/05/2013) [-]
Yahtzee is the best.
#119 - froggerhasxbox (10/05/2013) [-]
I think i like GTA V's jumping mechanism the most, where if you miss just by a bit, the character slams into the wall and falls over
I think i like GTA V's jumping mechanism the most, where if you miss just by a bit, the character slams into the wall and falls over
User avatar #132 to #119 - rossafire (10/05/2013) [-]
That, and you can just cancel the jump by pressing B (O on PS3) and if you do it right you can front flip into people lol. Trust me when I say it never gets old
User avatar #154 to #132 - stonetomcat (06/23/2014) [-]
True.
User avatar #155 to #154 - rossafire (06/24/2014) [-]
See, it's been almost 9 months and it still hasn't got old
User avatar #140 to #119 - zeroguy (10/05/2013) [-]
that gif is amazing
User avatar #31 - foelkera (10/05/2013) [-]
hijacking and crashing a 747 is just plane wrong
#97 to #31 - meirzin (10/05/2013) [-]
My friends made a minigame in GTA 5 called two towers, complete with various score multipliers...
#20 - grimgrey ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
>mfw I realize it's a video game.
>mfw I realize it's a video game.
User avatar #115 - action (10/05/2013) [-]
tfw i still play gta 3 and gta vice city on my ps2 because i cant afford a ps3/xbox
User avatar #127 to #115 - Darianvincent ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
I like my ps3 but at this point buying either one of those consoles would be a total waste, it's eight year old hardware. Just wait for it on PC
User avatar #57 - skumbaner ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
The pro's of having insurance
User avatar #62 to #57 - markertemp (10/05/2013) [-]
'Murric-- no.. uh.. Canad-- wait... um.... Mejico?
#64 to #62 - dontknowmeatall (10/05/2013) [-]
Definitely not Mexico.
User avatar #117 - californikiedis (10/05/2013) [-]
Thanks Obama(care)!
User avatar #12 - indecisivejew (10/05/2013) [-]
They do send ambulances after civilians though. Just punch or shoot a random pedestrian and wait half a minute or so and an ambulance will come rolling in.
User avatar #14 to #12 - nuaden (10/05/2013) [-]
Was watching a friend of mine play the other night, he was Micheal, and was hanging out with Franklin. Something happened, and a fire fight broke out in the middle of the road. Franklin died, and when the paramedics showed up they looked at Franklin, and left. He called the medic another two or three times, and they didn't do anything but look, and drive off.

I was to the point I was hurting from laughing so hard.
#46 to #14 - gerfox (10/05/2013) [-]
...
Wouldn't you get mission failed if Franklin died?
User avatar #123 to #46 - nuaden (10/05/2013) [-]
He wasn't currently doing a mission, just playing around in between them.
#50 to #46 - Jowi (10/05/2013) [-]
It probably wasn't a mission, it was probably just the hanging out thing
#51 to #50 - gerfox (10/05/2013) [-]
Ahh, never tried that...
User avatar #13 to #12 - misfitxcreepx (10/05/2013) [-]
He blew 'em all up though
#143 - creepyunclebob (10/05/2013) [-]
It really bothers me that the paramedics never manage to resuscitate the people I punch to death. I just want to punch them to death again.
User avatar #100 - mrdrpage (10/05/2013) [-]
>Steal car
>Put Sticky Bomb all over the car
>Drive full speed at a crowd of other players
>Jump out
>Congratulations, you now have a mobile car bomb
User avatar #101 to #100 - settlwlvs (10/05/2013) [-]
online has car bombs at los santos customs. I can't wait to reach rank 25.
User avatar #103 to #101 - mrdrpage (10/05/2013) [-]
But... Multiple sticky bombs...
User avatar #105 to #103 - settlwlvs (10/05/2013) [-]
costs a lot of money, and I imagine it doesn't cause that much more damage. I would plant sticky bombs on a car, use a tow truck to drive it into a crowd, unhitch it, then blow it up after you are a decent distance away. Time it right and you can still kill people without dying.

And that would probably be totally badass, instead of looking like just a plain old suicide bomber.
User avatar #63 - bighairyfart ONLINE (10/05/2013) [-]
But if he injures a lot of cops/civillians, the doctor gets more work, & therefore, more money.
User avatar #49 - alcoholicsemen (10/05/2013) [-]
anyone get eaten by a shark yet
User avatar #60 to #49 - asthmetheus (10/05/2013) [-]
It happened my first time swimming my friend assured me that I wouldn't see any since hes only seen like two, I go for a swim and get eaten.
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