Fuck that guy. tldrwikipedia.tumblr.com/ This is the site deadlockr has been stealing from. Enjoy having it all at your hands at once without someone lying for
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Fuck that guy

Fuck that guy. tldrwikipedia.tumblr.com/ This is the site deadlockr has been stealing from. Enjoy having it all at your hands at once without someone lying for

tldrwikipedia.tumblr.com/

This is the site deadlockr has been stealing from. Enjoy having it all at your hands at once without someone lying for green pixels and stealing content claiming it as his own.

Cousin
A cousin is the mild of one of your parent' s siblings
who you' gotta admit was looking pretty hot at
Christmas.
...
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Views: 64282
Favorited: 38
Submitted: 05/08/2014
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Comments(193):

[ 193 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #7 - pacoseago (05/08/2014) [-]
Subconsciously, your brain notices that your cousin has some resemblance to yourself, which makes you think that they look attractive to make you feel better about yourself.
This was published in a study right now as I am making it up, but it could be true.
#88 to #7 - billburr (05/09/2014) [-]
Your causation is obviously bs No offence of course and can only be speculated about but on the facts I think you're right.

I forget how they did the study, could have used siblings separated at birth? That was the result though, we're attracted to people who look like us
User avatar #105 to #7 - infamoustrapper (05/09/2014) [-]
But then why wouldn't you find your siblings very attractive then...
#185 to #105 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
Because that's disgusting, you sick **** .
User avatar #66 to #7 - twofreegerbils (05/09/2014) [-]
So, I'm attracted to my cousin because I actually think that I have nice tits and ass?

Yeah, no.
User avatar #62 to #7 - tehpoonages (05/09/2014) [-]
I'm adopted an my cousin is still hot. I guess that makes it ok right ?

( ͡° ʖ ͡°)
#2 - anon (05/08/2014) [-]
I'd **** my cousin without a second thought given the chance.
User avatar #115 to #2 - gaytard (05/09/2014) [-]
well thats ******* disgusting you inbred ******** .

today i realized that most of the funnyjunk community thinks that incest is totally ok and not disgusting at all.

no wonder you are all ******* stupid
User avatar #141 to #137 - gaytard (05/09/2014) [-]
>not wanting to have sex with your cousin

LOL ******* LOW QUALITY BAIT!! ITS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR BLOOD RELATED COUSIN!!!LOLOLOLOLOL
User avatar #143 to #115 - stifflerxchong (05/09/2014) [-]
no gaytard what it ******* mean it's that 1/3 of my cousin are hot as **** , if they werent my cousin id **** them
User avatar #124 to #115 - huewut ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
Hey!
User avatar #125 to #124 - gaytard (05/09/2014) [-]
atleast i have dignity and pride
User avatar #126 to #125 - huewut ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
**** you man!
-3
#24 to #2 - bloopzoop has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #49 to #24 - waffies (05/09/2014) [-]
this was indicated to be not true
#6 to #2 - anon (05/08/2014) [-]
dude, same
User avatar #4 to #2 - stifflerxchong (05/08/2014) [-]
id **** 1/3 of my cousin
User avatar #8 to #4 - Mushinoiki (05/08/2014) [-]
Only 1/3 of your cousin? What happened to the other 2/3?
User avatar #23 to #8 - collateraldamageco (05/09/2014) [-]
he's leaving that to his brother and dad
User avatar #183 to #8 - elmarcocfc (05/09/2014) [-]
'Nam happened.
User avatar #144 to #8 - stifflerxchong (05/09/2014) [-]
1/3 are dude and the other 1/3 are not my taste

(yes i got the joke little prick)
User avatar #9 to #2 - optimussum (05/08/2014) [-]
if youre not american i'll eat my hat
#17 to #9 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
i'm swedish.
User avatar #26 to #18 - archmagestudios (05/09/2014) [-]
op delivered
#38 to #18 - douevensax (05/09/2014) [-]
You delivered.
10/10
User avatar #67 to #18 - toosexyforyou (05/09/2014) [-]
pretty sure incest is a lot more common and less taboo in europe than the US
#178 to #67 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha no. Don't try to use Europe as a scapegoat for this, we got past that after we got rid of our monarchies.

Enjoy the taste of your brother-cousin's deformed asshole.
User avatar #95 to #67 - boomerpyro ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
less common, less taboo
incest sex can be okay if you're cousins but inbreeding is not okay
if they are closely related and wants to have children together they should consider adoption
User avatar #96 to #95 - toosexyforyou (05/09/2014) [-]
Yes yes, we all know that. What you said has nothing to do with what I said about incest in Europe being less frowned upon than in the US.
User avatar #148 to #96 - mans (05/09/2014) [-]
Maybe you forget that there's pretty many countries in our continent, unlike the fairly few ones in yours (assuming you're american).
User avatar #107 to #96 - Hurrrdurrr (05/09/2014) [-]
why do you think that?
User avatar #97 to #96 - boomerpyro ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
i said less taboo, and i'm drunk/norwegian give me a brake!
#157 to #18 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
Zac? is that you?
User avatar #158 to #157 - optimussum (05/09/2014) [-]
uhh
yeah
who you?
User avatar #123 to #17 - huewut ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
That explains more than you could possibly think.
Or perhaps, enough so that you could possibly think it. What is this?
#14 to #9 - magerogue (05/09/2014) [-]
jokes on him you don't have a hat
User avatar #15 to #14 - optimussum (05/09/2014) [-]
that's because i ate it
#16 to #15 - magerogue (05/09/2014) [-]
fine, still no hat
#77 to #15 - solarknight (05/09/2014) [-]
how did it taste?
User avatar #150 - thomaster (05/09/2014) [-]
>Go to my cousin's place
>Haven't seen eachother in a while
>My cousin is not particularly hot, neither am I, but we get along very well
>Give cousin my number and we agree to go out sometime
>Next day no calls
>Day after that FINALLY get a text from cousin
>I'm in the car, but really want to read the text
>Trying to read the text while driving
>Not watching the traffic at all
>Police car in front of me stops out of nowhere
>I can't break and hit police car
>Don't want to get in trouble and try to get away
>Chase last for several minutes, but really feels like hours
>Get away by hiding in some kind of garage
>Still feel the adrenaline pumping through my body
>Remember the text
>Finally time to read it
> ''Hey Cousin, do you want to go bowling?''
FML
User avatar #167 to #150 - elmarcocfc (05/09/2014) [-]
Clocked it after "some kind of garage"
Still funny as ****
User avatar #110 - cousin (05/09/2014) [-]
You're all sick, twisted bastards.
#186 to #110 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
Most of us probably are.
User avatar #112 to #110 - pvtgoblin (05/09/2014) [-]
How many mentions did ya get?
User avatar #113 to #112 - cousin (05/09/2014) [-]
Enough to know 3/4 of FunnyJunk have apparently ****** their cousin.
User avatar #121 to #110 - stonetomcat (05/09/2014) [-]
But we're your sick, twisted bastards. Or Admin's, but whatever. I have no cousins here in Germany, they stayed in Britain.
User avatar #138 to #48 - esmebuffay (05/09/2014) [-]
Interesting fact, Tywin's late wife Joanna Lannister, the mother of Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion, was his Tywin's first cousin, a Lannister in her own right.
#71 - mrfishie (05/09/2014) [-]
I am in a predicament, FJ...   
   
>18, work summer job on a gas dock (gas station for boats) on Long Island, NY   
>business operates out of a 25x15 foot snack-shack type building that floats with the dock in the channel   
>third year working here, usually really busy   
>after Hurricane Sandy hit business has struggled to pick up   
>a lot of my co-workers had to quit as they went off to college, but I go to school nearby and the money is good so I stayed   
>dock is owned by my uncle   
<with everyone leaving he decided to hire my 17-y.o. female cousin (not his daughter, different side of the family) to work with me   
>since I know the dock best I am tasked to train her   
>always had a small crush on her, but that was it   
>usually buried in her cellphone, but she leaves it at home to focus on work   
>funny and smart, not to mention an 8/10 easily   
>with business being slow, I'm stuck in this tiny room with her for full 8-hour shifts without any supervision with nothing to do   
>sooner or later we'll run out of things to do   
   
The tension is building guys, and I think she's starting to feel the same way. Course of action?
I am in a predicament, FJ...

>18, work summer job on a gas dock (gas station for boats) on Long Island, NY
>business operates out of a 25x15 foot snack-shack type building that floats with the dock in the channel
>third year working here, usually really busy
>after Hurricane Sandy hit business has struggled to pick up
>a lot of my co-workers had to quit as they went off to college, but I go to school nearby and the money is good so I stayed
>dock is owned by my uncle
<with everyone leaving he decided to hire my 17-y.o. female cousin (not his daughter, different side of the family) to work with me
>since I know the dock best I am tasked to train her
>always had a small crush on her, but that was it
>usually buried in her cellphone, but she leaves it at home to focus on work
>funny and smart, not to mention an 8/10 easily
>with business being slow, I'm stuck in this tiny room with her for full 8-hour shifts without any supervision with nothing to do
>sooner or later we'll run out of things to do

The tension is building guys, and I think she's starting to feel the same way. Course of action?
User avatar #122 to #71 - nooc (05/09/2014) [-]
The risk involved is not worth the reward
It'd be like paying a grand for one lottery ticket
User avatar #140 to #71 - thebritishguy (05/09/2014) [-]
The same thing I will say to my children on their wedding day
Finger punch her fart box.
User avatar #72 to #71 - lotengo ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
Is she related to you?if yes, rub one out befor going to work.
User avatar #74 to #72 - mrfishie (05/09/2014) [-]
Yeah, her dad is my mom's brother.
User avatar #75 to #74 - lotengo ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
Then rub one out before going to work and find a gf
User avatar #91 to #74 - TheInvader (05/09/2014) [-]
I agree, just rub one out and you will not find her attractive after that trust me, I am a doctor (Also i have been in the same situation as you.)
User avatar #98 to #71 - coolcalx (05/09/2014) [-]
don't. you would regret it immediately afterward.

don't believe me?

masturbate while thinking about her, and see how you feel after that.
User avatar #120 to #98 - neokun (05/09/2014) [-]
Thats pretty smart.
User avatar #132 to #120 - lanfearandthecup (05/09/2014) [-]
no, it doesnt work
User avatar #184 to #120 - coolcalx (05/09/2014) [-]
whenever I get the urge to cheat on my girlfriend, I jerk off, then realize that I'm an asshole when I'm horny.
User avatar #127 to #71 - derkarus (05/09/2014) [-]
stick it in her butt and swirl it around.
#73 to #71 - bigredginga (05/09/2014) [-]
let her come on to you first. in both ways
#92 to #71 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
or better yet, rub one out ...... all over her face, you know you want to OP
or better yet, rub one out ...... all over her face, you know you want to OP
#42 - deadmanisalive ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
When I was a kid my couple year older hottish cousin used to make out and kinda try having sex. We were young so I didn't know where to put my wang, I look back and I get so mad. If I just knew where to put it I coulda bumped me some uglies. But back then what we did was enough. Also last summer I went on a family vacation and I got to drunkinly make out with my sober hot ass halfrican cousin. I'm not proud of those things but they happened, and if offered to me again, I think I would do it again. but only for
#78 to #42 - solarknight (05/09/2014) [-]
nice.
User avatar #1 - stifflerxchong (05/08/2014) [-]
nobody ever tough he did them dumb ass .
i still agreed that 6 ******* comp was to much
User avatar #10 to #1 - cookiel (05/08/2014) [-]
Maybe a comp a day but not 6 in a day and a half
User avatar #28 to #1 - tiles (05/09/2014) [-]
Well, can one really tough he? It seems that common.
I agree with your agreement that 6 ******* comp was to much.
User avatar #100 to #1 - niklamacz (05/09/2014) [-]
Lots of people actually thought he was making them
#3 to #1 - rokulda (05/08/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#27 - dahlirious (05/09/2014) [-]
I'm a female with two cousins. One a douchebag, jacked up police officer who's full of roids, sports a chin strap and is 6 years older than me. And an acne ridden albino who's 2 years older than me and prone to giving me long hugs...   
   
Safe to say I do not have sexy cousins
I'm a female with two cousins. One a douchebag, jacked up police officer who's full of roids, sports a chin strap and is 6 years older than me. And an acne ridden albino who's 2 years older than me and prone to giving me long hugs...

Safe to say I do not have sexy cousins
#168 to #27 - touchmyfunny (05/09/2014) [-]
your douchebag shouldn't be allowed to be a police man. I noticed that this job is attracting especially douchebags who act like **** and drink all the time. Thank god there are still many good people who become police man/woman but still... it bothers me when I see what kind of people with corrupt minds get power over others to possibly abuse
#111 to #27 - cousin (05/09/2014) [-]
Heyyyy
Heyyyy
User avatar #119 to #27 - neokun (05/09/2014) [-]
Wow... What a bitch....
#30 to #27 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
No worries, you aren't considered the sexy one to them either.
#32 to #30 - fourchinsbrah (05/09/2014) [-]
anon wit the win
anon wit the win
#34 to #32 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
thumb for messi
User avatar #36 to #30 - dahlirious (05/09/2014) [-]
How do you know (
User avatar #58 to #36 - rakuraimasuta (05/09/2014) [-]
Anon is all knowing!
User avatar #80 to #36 - thathorse (05/09/2014) [-]
Tell you what put up a picture and we'll be the judge of that
#117 - Buhadog (05/09/2014) [-]
**Buhadog rolled image** how she looked like at christmas.
0
#135 to #117 - kogathedark has deleted their comment [-]
0
#136 to #117 - kogathedark has deleted their comment [-]
#31 - kingron (05/09/2014) [-]
All of the first,second and third cousins are all hotties.
All of the first,second and third cousins are all hotties.
User avatar #102 - escapedfromkitchen (05/09/2014) [-]
all of my cousins are pretty ******* ugly, so I don't really feel you
User avatar #118 - animexplain (05/09/2014) [-]
I ****** my cousin once.

We promised never to speak of it again.
Nobody will ever know...
#128 to #118 - dragonoob (05/09/2014) [-]
ANIMEXPLAIN 			******		 THEIR COUSIN.
ANIMEXPLAIN ****** THEIR COUSIN.
User avatar #129 to #128 - animexplain (05/09/2014) [-]
WE'RE NO STRANGERS TO LOVE.
User avatar #134 to #129 - marioslmg (05/09/2014) [-]
YOU KNOW THE RULES, AND SO DO I.
User avatar #155 to #134 - afrodemon (05/09/2014) [-]
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
User avatar #182 to #155 - elmarcocfc (05/09/2014) [-]
You wouldn't get this from
User avatar #193 to #182 - animexplain (05/12/2014) [-]
ANY OTHER GUY
User avatar #130 to #128 - lanfearandthecup (05/09/2014) [-]
irony much?
#94 - nighthawxx (05/09/2014) [-]
all my cousins are girls and I'm the only guy    
I'm not afraid to say I've had sexual thoughts about a few of them   
 and masturbated to one of them    
 please don't tell anyone
all my cousins are girls and I'm the only guy
I'm not afraid to say I've had sexual thoughts about a few of them
and masturbated to one of them
please don't tell anyone
#99 to #94 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
I jerked into my cousins panties once.
I dont even care bro, the worst thing about it though was I had to burn the evidence...
User avatar #101 to #99 - boblywop ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
Good god. I wouldn't be able to do that. It'd be too ******* awkward, even if noone ever found out
0
#116 to #94 - exclamation has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #147 to #94 - aran (05/09/2014) [-]
well, you're not the only one...
#55 - iridium ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
There's nothing inherently wrong with it. I mean think about it, the only real issue is the weirdness, which is largely in it of itself created by social taboos, and only in a number of first-world countries; around the world, 10% of all marriages are between cousins.   
   
The actual risk of birth defects between cousins is also dramatically lower than people think it is. The risk of any birth defect in a child is something like 2-3%. Between cousins, it's only about 5%, and it's also something that can be worked with with doctors.    
   
tl;dr as long as you're both of age and mutually like each other, there's nothing really wrong with it.    
   
 I personally only have cousins 10 years older or 10 years younger though
There's nothing inherently wrong with it. I mean think about it, the only real issue is the weirdness, which is largely in it of itself created by social taboos, and only in a number of first-world countries; around the world, 10% of all marriages are between cousins.

The actual risk of birth defects between cousins is also dramatically lower than people think it is. The risk of any birth defect in a child is something like 2-3%. Between cousins, it's only about 5%, and it's also something that can be worked with with doctors.

tl;dr as long as you're both of age and mutually like each other, there's nothing really wrong with it.

I personally only have cousins 10 years older or 10 years younger though
#109 to #55 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
In that case the only problem with having sex with a 14 year old is social. Social taboos are pretty big, really.
#189 to #109 - iridium ONLINE (05/10/2014) [-]
Guessing you missed the part about "both of age and mutually like each other."
#63 to #55 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
The problem comes when everyone does it, cause of gene pool and **** .
#188 to #63 - anon (05/10/2014) [-]
Well even if it wasn't a taboo, you probably wouldn't see a huge increase in people doing that (well maybe in really small communties) I personally encourage most any relationship in which both parties are happy and it doesn't hurt anyone, but I don't approve of necrophillia or pedophillia and ******* your horse is just plain idk weird and im not sure but wouldn't it increase your chances of an std or something?
#68 to #63 - cobrafan (05/09/2014) [-]
The recessive genes are actually wiped out within about two generations, so in areas of the world where this is common, they don't have to worry about the recessive traits.
User avatar #65 to #55 - tsoper (05/09/2014) [-]
too many same genes increase the chance for the same recessive genes to be shown. and a lot of recessive genes are very disadvantageous to have
User avatar #85 to #65 - iridium ONLINE (05/09/2014) [-]
Yeah I'm not saying humanity should pursue the route of cousin-love for everyone. I'm saying here and there is not nearly as big of a problem as they make it out to be.
User avatar #57 - biggrand (05/09/2014) [-]
> all four grandparents ****** outside race
> all children married outside of race
> are now the interracial side of the family that's kinda cut off from everyone else

I literally have one cousin I'm tight with, and he's a dude. Everyone else is basically pushed away or dead

that awkward moment when you fantasize about having a cute female cousin who you have crazy sex with over the summer when you're forced to spend the summer at her place in the countryside of oregon
User avatar #145 - ninegagnazi (05/09/2014) [-]
All these people talk about their hot cousins. What, do you all live in the South?
#187 to #145 - anon (05/10/2014) [-]
(Happens just as often up north) There are a few reasons why dating within the family is discouraged
1. The way the genes work, if you have kids with close family (ie sister) they're more prone to mental or physical disabilities or problems.
2. Of course it's generally considered weird to date someone that came from the same mother, very weird.
3. Being say cousins and likely having much in common and knowing each other well the odds of it working are better between the two but if it doesn't they'll still be there in your family and you're stuck with that situation.
#146 to #145 - anon (05/09/2014) [-]
It's actually not uncommon for first cousins to get married and have kids together. It's odd, sure, but most people have no problem with it. It also happens everywhere law and religion allow it.
User avatar #45 - randomwanker (05/09/2014) [-]
I ****** my second cousin
User avatar #86 to #45 - srhkid (05/09/2014) [-]
I would have quit counting..
#79 to #45 - solarknight (05/09/2014) [-]
was she hot?
User avatar #82 to #79 - randomwanker (05/09/2014) [-]
all cousins are hot
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