fuck frank

whatdoyawant

Everyone meet Frank. Frank is snapping turtle
that wandered into a community where he did not
belong. Frank needed to be escorted back to his
local pond where he Couldn' t go all snippity snap
on anyone (or cute puppies) so my friend and i
jumped into action. Within about 2 minutes it was
pretty apparent that Frank is a gigantic *******
asshole.
Here we see Frank gettin' all high and mighty trying
to run the **** away from us and get to the nearest
basket of puppies that he could then chomping
chomp simply because he is a giant **** . Let me
tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a
Godzilla like terror on humanity are ******* over.
You picked the wrong town Frank, you picked the
wrong ******* town. Not like Frank was gonna
make it easy on me though. I swear to god this
bastard just about hissed and **** everywhere
before we got him to calm the **** down. Jesus
Frank.
Frank then realized he was ****** so instead of
cooperating and getting a free ride back to his
pond OH NO. Frank here decides he is five *******
years old and he sits the **** down and goes limp.
Honestly Frank grow the **** up. You think other
turtles are acting like this at your age Frank, no.
Frank here probably thought at this point we we' re
unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric
asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong.
WE ******* LASSO' D THE **** OUTTA YOU
FRANK.
Needless to say Frank was pretty ******* upset
about the whole ordeal and bitched the entire ten
minute walk back to Casa De Frank. and just when
i thought my life was gonna get just a little bit
easier, Frank goes and torpedo shotgun pisses all
over my foot. **** you Frank. Thats low even for
you, you pancake shelled dickweed.
Tiny snippity shelled cat tax
Long story short we got Frank back home and
saved the entire town. Frank was not hurt, and we
treated the whole situation with care BECAUSE I’ M
A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN YOU
FRANK YOU SON OF A BITCH.

...

+873

Views:	28944
Favorited:	125
Submitted:	01/05/2016

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66 comments displayed.

+186

#1 - kristovsky (01/05/2016) [-]

Snapping turtles

the cunts of the.....ummm.....

They're just cunts.

#72 to #1 - harbingerwolf (01/06/2016) [-]

Take that back, my ones adorable.

+62

#8 to #1 - syncins (01/05/2016) [-]

man, **** Frank

+94

#10 to #8 - muffincannibal (01/05/2016) [-]

+11

#24 to #10 - kameken (01/05/2016) [-]

#23 to #10 - settantaventi (01/05/2016) [-]

GIF

#9 to #8 - kewolsky (01/05/2016) [-]

I wouldn't let a snapping turtle suck my cock or even get near it, just sayin'

#11 to #9 - muffincannibal (01/05/2016) [-]

How did your mind end up on that subject?

#12 to #11 - kewolsky (01/05/2016) [-]

because if the video he placed next to his comment.

+47

#22 - killyourdarlings (01/05/2016) [-]

GIF

+55

#5 - anon (01/05/2016) [-]

In the last picture, I imagined his little nose hole thing as his mouth.

I can't unsee it.

#25 to #5 - pyrointheface ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

That's hilarious

#45 to #5 - thrifty (01/05/2016) [-]

#14 to #5 - stallioncock (01/05/2016) [-]

y u gotta do dis.

+33

#16 to #5 - oscardelta (01/05/2016) [-]

+108

#15 - topkekuser (01/05/2016) [-]

**topkekuser used "*roll 1, 1-99*"**
**topkekuser rolls 11**

#44 to #15 - thrifty (01/05/2016) [-]

GIF

#57 to #44 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

nice gif feggit

+30

#18 to #15 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

GIF

#40 to #18 - frankfavreau (01/05/2016) [-]

#41 to #40 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

#42 to #41 - frankfavreau (01/05/2016) [-]

#43 to #42 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

#47 to #43 - frankfavreau (01/05/2016) [-]

do you even anime?

#49 to #47 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

Always Sunny in Philadelphia is best anniemay

#50 to #49 - frankfavreau (01/05/2016) [-]

how about bee shrek test in the house?

#52 to #50 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

doesnt even compare to danny devito

#53 to #52 - frankfavreau (01/05/2016) [-]

dammit you win

#54 to #41 - xsap (01/05/2016) [-]

do you want a ***** to make a funyjunk version of that?

#55 to #54 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

i have no idea what you said but yes

#58 to #55 - xsap (01/05/2016) [-]

u got more of pap franku webms like that?

#59 to #58 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

#62 to #59 - xsap (01/05/2016) [-]

#63 to #62 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

thank

#64 to #63 - xsap (01/05/2016) [-]

#65 to #64 - hxhmaniac (01/05/2016) [-]

how you doing this stuff anyway

#66 to #65 - xsap (01/06/2016) [-]

black magic

#67 to #66 - hxhmaniac (01/06/2016) [-]

...rubick?

#56 to #55 - xsap (01/05/2016) [-]

you'll see, ill brb dont leave

#21 - lean (01/05/2016) [-]

Found a snapper near my cabin (Northern MN) that was massive. Bit through the baseball bat handle Usually if you get them to snap on to a hefty branch or baseball bat you can bring them to an out of the way spot because they don't let go It looked like he was trying to cross a highway, I essentially made a lasso and drug him along. DNR stopped and said "That's Hank". They had tagged him 20 years ago. Currently 22" shell, 47 lbs. They figure he is around 100 years old.

If you don't help turtles cross major roads, or worse, try and run them over, you are a dickhead.

#27 to #21 - sisterblister (01/05/2016) [-]

you can just pick them up from the shell we have a bunch of alagator snappers out here in a tiny stream near my house we have one named tire because hes the size of a truck tire he wil just crawl up to the bank sit by you and look at you till you give him some of your bait then just sun while you fish i miss tire havent seen him in a while

#39 to #27 - trolljunkusa (01/05/2016) [-]

Dude those ******* if they really want too can reach their neck around and snap all the way back

#51 to #39 - sisterblister (01/05/2016) [-]

not all the way back

Alligator Snapping Turtle vs Common Snapping Turtle

#37 - trolljunkusa (01/05/2016) [-]

Last summer there was a pretty decent sized turtle in the middle of a road I was on, and while it's not a very busy road, people fly down it, so I decided to pull over and save it. Now, I just went straight for it, grabbed it, and tried to walk it off the side of the road, because we don't usually get snapping turtles in this area, they're usually the little cute ones that smile when you pick them up, but no, this was a snapping turtle, a dick snapping turtle too. He managed to reach his entire head back to where my hands were, and I dropped him, he then turned around and looked at me, I then grabbed my crowbar out of my car and slung him like a lacrosse ball off the road.

#60 to #37 - xgeneration (01/05/2016) [-]

is he ok

#73 to #60 - trolljunkusa (01/06/2016) [-]

I like to think he is

#31 - anon (01/05/2016) [-]

**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**obligatory stick your dick in it

#28 - myjunk (01/05/2016) [-]

Frank was damn lucky to actually live in the water.
Here's another one:
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3250948/Tortoise-harebrain-Girl-saves-animal-thought-turtle-throwing-water-doesn-t-realize-t-swim.html
Scroll down and watch the vid (26 sec).
It's rather tragic actually

#33 to #28 - sonicsyndicate (01/05/2016) [-]

my heart skipped a beat when i realise how much of a dumb cunt she is

#20 - diegotan ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

**diegotan used "*roll picture*"**
**diegotan rolled image** My real name is Frank. Why you guys so mean.

#3 - swayze (01/05/2016) [-]

I caught a snapping turtle that size on the road a few years ago. And ate it... in some turtle stew

#13 to #3 - stoneshit (01/05/2016) [-]

..why?

#17 to #13 - kennyh (01/05/2016) [-]

Turtle stew is delicious. Imagine a mix between chicken and good clam meat.

-1

#36 to #17 - stoneshit (01/05/2016) [-]

I loathe all sea organisms speaking of meals with a passion. I've never tried clams and I never will. Turtles are now disgusting. Thanks.

#46 to #36 - erotictentacle (01/05/2016) [-]

You're missing out, fish is the **** , like almost everything edible living in the ocean

#75 to #46 - stoneshit (01/06/2016) [-]

I only eat fish when I'm forced to. I hate it. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing them in sea, alive. But eating it is the must god-awful thing for me.

#70 - coolios (01/06/2016) [-]

"i have made a terrible mistake"

#38 - schneidend (01/05/2016) [-]

"shelled prehistoric asswipe"

I was chuckling through pretty much the whole thing, but this got me.

#26 - thejusticar (01/05/2016) [-]

I remember encountering a snapping turtle for the first time. I was chilling at a pond with some friends just hanging. And this ****** runs out of the pond at light speed. The literal first this that satanic bastard does is bite my foot. But luckly for me i had steel toe boots on that day. So while this lil bastard latched onto my toe my retarded friends instead of helping, decide to take pictures. After they took several trillion pics. They decide to grab from the ****** and literally throw him into the pond.

#4 - trailblazerinferno ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

#69 - ogthegreat (01/06/2016) [-]

******* Frank thought he was hot **** up to no good trying to start trouble in their neigborhood. And then he got bitched made delux supremed. GET KEKKED FRANK.

#19 - anon (01/05/2016) [-]

GIF

**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image**I kenw Frank was an asshole

#30 - anon (01/05/2016) [-]

This is a softshell snapper, just for everyones own knowledge, in the USA it is highly illegal to interfere with this highly endangered species, always call a game warden or animal control officer to handle the proper relocation of these beautiful turtles.