AROUND THE WORLD
A Brief Survey of the Various Foreign Types,
Racial Characteristics: Probably
not people at all, Probably some kind
of monkey. They eat each other and
worship bundles of sticks and mud.
You can never remember the names of
their countries, which have at new
Main Nigger every half hour and too
many makes and bugs anyw 2 They
eat those, too. They put bones n their
noses and wear plants for clothes.
Good Points: Don' t feel pain the way
Proper Forms of Address: Jig.
coon, dickmouth. storeback. shitskin.
We Anecdotes Illustrating Some-
thing of the Negro Character:
A traveling cattle barterer asks to
stay the night at a root gatherer' s hut.
The root gather” agrees but says the
cattle barterer will have to sleep with
the root gatherers daughter. The
cattle barterer goes to get onto the
mat with the root gatherer' s daughter
and sees that she' s very dead, so he
spends all night eating her. In the
morning, the root gatherer asks the
traveling cattle barterer how he liked
sleeping with his daughter. "She was
wonderful," says the cattle bu nearer.
especially those delicious maggots in
Thee wertan' t maggots," says the
mot gatherer, "those were just some
grains of rice. She' s only been dead
Then there was an African pervert
who ate women before they were
Their Chief Characteristics,
Customs, and Manners
by . O' Rourke
Racial Characteristics: Wear bed
sheets and put bags over their
women' s heads. They burp and fart
during meals and wash themselves in
sand. They bugger little boys and
practice some stupid religion that
rhey' re trying to get all our Negroes to
believe in. Disorderly cowards when
they have to fight anyone else. they
nonetheless quite courageously mur-
der each other and chop " people' s
hands for littering. They plant bombs
everywhere they go and own all the
earth' s oil, which is why you can' t buy
mightiest if you' re wearing a yar-
milke. They hate Jews because Jews
are the only people in the world with
noses uglier than their own, and
they' re cornering the Cadillac market
no that the Hebert will have to drive
Good Points: If they had any coun-
try clubs, they wouldn' t let Jews in.
Proper Forms of Address: Camel
jockey, penishead, soggy Arabian.
desert Irish, .
An Anecdote Illustrating Some.
thing of the Arab Character:
During the Yom Kippur War. Syrian
armored units were preparing to
charge several fortified positions in
the Golan Heights when the Israelis
canceled their credit rating.
Racial Characteristics: Violently
loud alcoholic roughnecks whose idea
of fun is to throw up on your can The
national sport is breaking furniture
and the average daily consumption of
beer in Sydney is ten and three quar-
ters Imperial gallons for children
under the age of nine. "Making a
Shambles" is required study in the pri-
mary schools and all Australians are
bilingual. speaking both English and
Sheep. Possibly as a result of their
country' s being upside down, the local
dialect has over 400 terms for wmcz.
These include Technicolor yawn."
talking to the toilet," "
meal ticket," and "singing haeh." It is
illegal to employ the aboriginal inhib-
itaots as anything but toilets, and
some of the peculiar forms of native
wildlife have up to nine assholes. The
recent destruction of Darwin by a
hurricane was actually a cover story
for the regrettable coincidence of pay-
days on three separate sheep stations.