Enjoying anime is subjective, like enjoying anything else. I personally despise it, but what ever if other people like it. It's just fun to **** post because I know autists can't comprehend people having different opinions.
I wrote a metaphor for anime as a whole then realized I didn't answer your questions but I wanted to keep my metaphor for later so it's in the spoiler.
people like tsundres because they are seen as a challenge a beast that you must conquer, but once you defeat that beast it will love you and only you cause everyone else was too scarred to try. (think all that **** but with emotions and trauma)
the reason most anime is seen as **** is because a lot of newer anime focuses on selling sex as opposed to story a few examples would be cat planet cuties, high school of the dead, and rosario x vampire. those are mostly **** (x vampire has some good moments I think) what people want and expect out of anime is pretty much any studio ghible movie, amazing mature stories told with nice animation.
Anime is one gargantuan mountain of **** and somewhere in that indescribable mass their is a loosely put-together box with some of the best chocolate pudding that will ever hit your lips, the problem is everyone starts off tasting the pudding and sooner or later some **** starts getting in your pudding and over time more and more **** gets in your pudding then eventually you can't taste the difference.