Family Time. not mine, but funny.. My Dad asked me last night why I carry my 1911 in the house, what am I afraid of'? I looked him straight in the eye and said, decepticon gun safety lol Awesome

Family Time

Family Time. not mine, but funny.. My Dad asked me last night why I carry my 1911 in the house, what am I afraid of'? I looked him straight in the eye and said,

not mine, but funny.

My Dad asked me last night why I
carry my 1911 in the house, what am I
afraid of'? I looked him straight in the
eye and said, "The Goddamn
Deception's." He laughed, I laughed,
the toaster laughed, I shot the toaster.
It was a good time.
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Favorited: 218
Submitted: 04/23/2014
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#17 - icewizardftw (04/23/2014) [-]
This time it was toast, this time...
#119 to #17 - twistedtheturtle ONLINE (04/24/2014) [-]
How long have you waited to use this
User avatar #124 to #119 - icewizardftw (04/24/2014) [-]
I have waited a long time for this joke to be relevant
User avatar #69 to #17 - pappathethird (04/23/2014) [-]
he looks strange from the side
User avatar #70 to #69 - icewizardftw (04/23/2014) [-]
Well it was from one of the first episodes
#80 to #70 - bongconnery (04/23/2014) [-]
i just thought your guys' comments in my head then saw your comments
#22 - MegalordMarcus (04/23/2014) [-]
Soon, pitiful worms! Soon I will rule, and your lives will have their doneness setting turned to... darkest! Yeah, I know
User avatar #26 to #22 - amata (04/23/2014) [-]
That may have been my favorite character in all of New Vegas
User avatar #31 to #26 - MegalordMarcus (04/23/2014) [-]
He's everyone's favorite character
User avatar #37 to #26 - karson (04/23/2014) [-]
I liked muggy.
User avatar #77 to #37 - scowler (04/23/2014) [-]
"Do you know many coffee cups giant robot brains in jars use on a daily basis? NOT ******* MANY!!!"
User avatar #81 to #77 - karson (04/23/2014) [-]
"Dr. O thought it would be ******* HILARIOUS to build a tiny neurotic robot. Big ******* laugh!"
User avatar #105 to #81 - scowler (04/23/2014) [-]
*tiny neurotic Securitron.
#79 to #77 - karson has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #53 to #22 - samxdaxman (04/23/2014) [-]
"I will burn the world in nuclear fire!"
'Already happened.'
"Oh... Well then I will burn the world in nuclear fire AGAIN!"
#2 - xonorithedruid (04/23/2014) [-]
Trust nothing, trust no one!!!
Trust nothing, trust no one!!!
User avatar #11 to #2 - dragonfucker (04/23/2014) [-]
This would've been a much easier way to kill that son of a bitch
#13 to #2 - roninneko (04/23/2014) [-]
I knew I had something for this.
#108 to #21 - anon (04/23/2014) [-]
Kill him 7 times more then!
User avatar #59 to #13 - mrpotatofudge (04/23/2014) [-]
>saying a spell and not thinking it
******* pleb
User avatar #117 to #59 - cabbagemayhem (04/24/2014) [-]
Even the ones that can cast it without speaking still can't beat 3000 fps.
#82 - Killveous (04/23/2014) [-]
> are there any decepticons in my kitchen?
> are there any decepticons in my kitchen?
#137 to #82 - tomthehippie (04/24/2014) [-]
I don't think that gif has ever been more related.
#120 to #82 - anon (04/24/2014) [-]
you could not get any more appropriate then that gif
User avatar #27 - useroftheLOLZ (04/23/2014) [-]
>M1911 in .45 acp
>Not dual wielding gold plated Deagle Brand Deagle chambered in .50 African Eliminator, while getting blowed off by your 10/10 mom and 10/10 sister, while the cops bust open the door, see your Deagles, instantly becoming your *********** range buddies, who you share a beer with, after John Browning and Alexander Kahlaskinov descend from Valhalla, and give you their jointly designed rifle chambered in .50 Big ************* Gun, with scary assault features, and a fully semi automatic barrel shroud that when it goes up, it turns your assault bullets into heat seeking baby and cop killing missles that can shoot down planes, and can be easily concealed in your pocket, with 500 bullet clipazines.
>2/10 - Would shoot, and maybe loot if they had a chili and mac MRE
User avatar #42 to #27 - konysugandanbitch (04/23/2014) [-]
I'm sorry this isn't Borderlands.
User avatar #94 to #27 - hexadecimated (04/23/2014) [-]
/k/- A magical place
User avatar #107 to #27 - marlton (04/23/2014) [-]
Who is Alexander Kahlaskinov?
#110 to #107 - cidkh (04/23/2014) [-]
A loving husband father and grandfather from Russia

....he also designed the AK-47 and some other successful firearms
#123 to #110 - marlton (04/24/2014) [-]
Mikhail Kalashnikov designed the AK47 Avtomat Kalashnikova 1947 no Idea who Alexander Kahlaskinov is
User avatar #130 to #123 - useroftheLOLZ (04/24/2014) [-]
Wow, I Mc ****** up. I was thinking of Alexandr Zaitsev when I was recalling Kalashnikov's name. Alexandr Zaitsev along with Vladimir Deikin, and a whole bunch of German scientists, were the guys who designed the AK47. Kalashnikov is honored as the sole designer, but he publicly stated that Alexandr and Vladimir were the two major collaborators when it came to designing the AK47. Thus, a cognitive **** up, known as Alexander Kahlaskinov.
#127 to #123 - cidkh (04/24/2014) [-]
touche, recognized the last name and brain made up some details to compensate. You are correct sir
User avatar #36 to #27 - karson (04/23/2014) [-]
my new favorite comment. you completely won me over at "clipazines"
#89 - ppheadbuttface (04/23/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#115 to #89 - darkace (04/23/2014) [-]
That is one of the coolest Gifs I have seen in some time.
#86 - THISISNOTFUNNY (04/23/2014) [-]
Disappointed in the lack of the brave little toaster post in the comments
#87 to #86 - anon (04/23/2014) [-]
disappointed that you missed the chance to be the first and instead complained about it
#88 to #87 - THISISNOTFUNNY (04/23/2014) [-]
log in and say that
log in and say that
#90 to #88 - anon (04/23/2014) [-]
I never did the whole account thing. I don't like any of you people enough.
#91 to #90 - anon (04/23/2014) [-]
you ******
#92 to #91 - anon (04/23/2014) [-]
Not sure what you said, should I be offended?
#106 to #92 - atma (04/23/2014) [-]
User avatar #111 to #78 - biomedic (04/23/2014) [-]
frakin toasters.
#97 - localbees (04/23/2014) [-]
Always have guns.
Always have guns.
#131 to #97 - stolenusername (04/24/2014) [-]
Why is the background filled with swedish flags?. Damn swedish patriots
Why is the background filled with swedish flags?. Damn swedish patriots
User avatar #138 to #131 - localbees (04/24/2014) [-]
Yeah, the gifs all ****** up for some reason.
#15 - anon (04/23/2014) [-]
Now that's an American **** Yeah moment
#38 - darthbanearari (04/23/2014) [-]
I guess no one wants ask the real questions ......... Decepticon Vibrators?
#125 to #38 - RipperMan (04/24/2014) [-]
nobody? really? i thought everybody's seen this
#41 to #38 - konysugandanbitch (04/23/2014) [-]
I can't tell if that's a really really bad thing or a good thing.
#48 to #41 - halloweenwillcome (04/23/2014) [-]
**halloweenwillcome rolled image** Know some
User avatar #52 to #48 - konysugandanbitch (04/23/2014) [-]
You know Decepticon vibrators?
#54 to #52 - halloweenwillcome (04/23/2014) [-]
It has 3 modes
Stealth mode... (left image)
Anus blaster... (top right image)
And the Dildogun (bottom right image)
User avatar #58 to #54 - konysugandanbitch (04/23/2014) [-]
Holy **** , that guy must be the laughing stock of the whole Decepticon army.
#93 to #58 - transformnerd (04/23/2014) [-]
That's ************* GALVATRON. He's the LEADER of the Decepticon army.
User avatar #62 to #58 - xfishy (04/23/2014) [-]
.. Or their greatest enemy in the Decepticon locker room.
User avatar #64 to #62 - konysugandanbitch (04/23/2014) [-]
*Enters locker room* "Hey guys what's up? Oh wait, is that Galvatron? Oh uhh hey I gotta-- NO NOT THE ASS!"
User avatar #95 to #64 - greatgranpapy (04/23/2014) [-]
*Exhaust pipe
User avatar #101 to #95 - konysugandanbitch (04/23/2014) [-]
Oh right, robots.
User avatar #43 to #41 - sketchE (04/23/2014) [-]
on a completely unrelated note if that is who i think it is his son tried hitting on my girlfriend
User avatar #45 to #43 - konysugandanbitch (04/23/2014) [-]
What? Casper Van Dien's (the man who played Johnny Rico) son tried hitting on your girlfriend?
User avatar #47 to #45 - sketchE (04/23/2014) [-]
yep thats him. casper van dien the fourth or third or whatever. nerdy yet still egotistical **** that one was. you dont know how many times we heard "my fathers a movie star"
User avatar #49 to #47 - konysugandanbitch (04/23/2014) [-]
Hahah! I can't believe he actually said that.
User avatar #50 to #49 - sketchE (04/23/2014) [-]
it was a regular thing
User avatar #55 to #50 - konysugandanbitch (04/23/2014) [-]
I would probably have a nervous breakdown trying not to tell him that it's not a big deal.
User avatar #14 - jakedertree (04/23/2014) [-]
Dad: "What are you afraid of?"

Son: "Not a god-damn thing, Dad. Not a god-damn thing."
#73 - joshthepoet (04/23/2014) [-]
what the **** did the toaster do?
User avatar #76 to #73 - twixt (04/23/2014) [-]
Clearly it was a robot in disguise, and thus was worthy of death.
User avatar #3 - hellomynameisbill (04/23/2014) [-]
I live in such a good neighbourhood.
my shotgun is stationed behind the door as opposed to on the porch.
#40 to #3 - cplkoeksuster (04/23/2014) [-]
What, where the burglars can just pick it up and rob you with it? Perhaps we have a different understanding of the word porch. In fact I'm betting on it.
#4 - PubLandlord ONLINE (04/23/2014) [-]
For the Americans on this site, is it a constant worry or something you think about daily, having someone break into your house ? (or maybe just for the gun owners)
#24 to #4 - Orc (04/23/2014) [-]
**Orc rolled image** twenty-five
#25 to #4 - anon (04/23/2014) [-]
I'm really paranoid and have anxiety issues, and sometimes I might hear a door opening (or imagine it?) even though i know neither of my parents or anyone for that matter should be coming home at that time, and I'll start freaking out and I go to hide in my parents bedroom until I realize how retarded I am and come out of my parents bedroom. If someone did actually come into my house and decided to break down my parents door all I would have to defend myself is a crowbar and a machete with a serrated backside and I don't know how well that would go.
User avatar #65 to #25 - lolme (04/23/2014) [-]
I do belive you should get some counseling before you hurt some of your loved ones or that **** develops further.
User avatar #67 to #4 - capslockjunk (04/23/2014) [-]
When I went to the UK that is when I was worried about getting robbed.
User avatar #68 to #67 - capslockjunk (04/23/2014) [-]
Also some gun owners fantasize about having their house burglarized just so they can put their gun to use
#102 to #4 - walmartysnextghost (04/23/2014) [-]
I hate to bring up the old fire extinguisher arguement, but it's really an ounce of prevention. Not to mention you have to be a moron to break into a house in a rural area because your ass WILL get shot.
User avatar #136 to #4 - thewellhungarian (04/24/2014) [-]
For me and my family back home, we worry mostly about animals. Last year we had a bear break into the neighbors house and attack them. The husband got it with his 12 gauge before it got to him. Normally, in this instance, you just lock yourself somewhere safe and call for help, but sometimes, the animals are kinda aggressive.

Talking about people breaking in though, there was also a bunch of people getting raided for their 4-wheelers, even the ones that were locked up. Luckily, they got nabbed by the cops before it got too out of hand. We also had some scumbag break into our vehicle one night, I'm surprised he didn't try to hit the house too.
#28 to #4 - puttman (04/23/2014) [-]
the second amendment was made for the sole purpose of allowing the people to have the means to protect them selves from a tyrannical government. and if you dont use it you lose it
#109 to #4 - erpee (04/23/2014) [-]
No, it's just that there are a bunch of armchair generals who can only get off if someone breaks into their house so they can shoot the guy. In reality, it usually doesn't go that way. gif semi-related
No, it's just that there are a bunch of armchair generals who can only get off if someone breaks into their house so they can shoot the guy. In reality, it usually doesn't go that way. gif semi-related
User avatar #12 to #4 - roninneko (04/23/2014) [-]
Depends on where you live, but gang-related crime is actually a pretty big deal.
User avatar #29 to #4 - useroftheLOLZ (04/23/2014) [-]
Kind of sort of. There is almost always the chance that someone is going to break into your house, which is why I used to have my AK47 ready, with a loaded magazine near by, just in case.

Thankfully, I never had to shoot anyone, but there have been times when people have had someone break into their house, and they have had to use lethal force, and I used to live in a up state, blue/whtie collar area. Unfortunately, where I live now, my firearms have to be constantly locked up, on the other side, there is almost no chance of someone breaking in, and if they do, someone will be there in a matter of minutes for sure. But I still have a plate carrier and permitted self defense equipment stashed away, just in case.

It's partially because I'm a paranoid ************ , and partially because I was living with people I greatly cared about, and really, having a firearm at the ready, was one of the best ways to be prepared, if something were to happen.
User avatar #99 to #4 - commontroll (04/23/2014) [-]
I'm just a person who is constantly on edge and prepared for the worst. I live in the fourth largest city in America, and grew up in a bad part of town. Because of seeing what kind of crap happens and knowing how ****** some people are, I just don't trust people. It's one of the main reasons I hate crowds, I just am always on guard. But that's just me. A huge amount of Americans are scared ******** of guns, that's why we're debating gun control.

So the reasons I have weapons are: with a knife it's a tool first, weapon second. I've never needed to pull out my knife for self defense, though there were situations it could have helped but it also gives me peace of mind. Guns are for sport, then hunting, then self defense. Also I like to think that if **** ever hits the fan massively, I can go into the woods and have something to at least help keep me and my family alive.

But more than anything, most Americans who love guns, like them because they're just a ton of fun. You're stabbing things from a distance via explosive launching. What's not to love? Especially when recipients of said stabs are paper or ballistic gel.
#128 to #4 - twofreegerbils (04/24/2014) [-]
I don't constantly worry about my house burning down, but I keep a fire extinguisher anyways.
#39 to #4 - devildogpratt (04/23/2014) [-]
Not worried about it really, but definitely prepared. The area I live in doesn't have a ton of crime but there is a lot of drug use, specifically heroin and people can do crazy things when they are desperate for their fix. I've never had to use a gun defensively thankfully, but I do use them at the range often, as well as for hunting and competition purposes
User avatar #9 to #4 - RageRambo ONLINE (04/23/2014) [-]
Not really. But Going to the firing range is quite fun.
User avatar #5 to #4 - fuckingmeese (04/23/2014) [-]
No, not a constant fear. I just like to know that should i need to protect my life or the lives of my children, that I am equipped to do so. I live in a rural are and police response time can be to long if there is an armed intruder.
Also most gun owners are usually very responsible, it's just the few nut jobs that make gun owners look bad.
User avatar #6 to #5 - PubLandlord ONLINE (04/23/2014) [-]
Fair , it just seems like a very different culture, because here ( UK small village) the thought of someone breaking in has never even crossed mine or my friends minds, because the likelihood is so small
User avatar #7 to #6 - fuckingmeese (04/23/2014) [-]
Honestly it really comes down to culture. I mean, I'm a veteran and I've been trained to be on edge. Beyond any of that, I'm just tired of the criminals that will have guns regardless of the laws, The same ones that shoot children or kill their families.
User avatar #16 to #6 - lean (04/23/2014) [-]
I don't even lock the doors in my house (small town northern MN), but I have a Ruger SR40 holstered in my nightstand. I hope I never have to draw it on a person.
#113 to #16 - darkace (04/23/2014) [-]
Are you big Rugger fan? I love my SR9 its like your SR40 but a 9mm version.
User avatar #143 to #113 - fuckingmeese (04/24/2014) [-]
I love my 10/22 and sr22 and my Ruger 380 with laser, Ruger fan over here.
#144 to #143 - darkace (04/24/2014) [-]
Nice, good assortment there. I really like the SR9s weight and feel it was the one 9mm I kept coming to when I was testing some at a range so I decided to pick it up. It's my favorite gun. My other guns are a model 60 22LR, and a 20 gauge my grandma left behind when she went back home. Wish I had more of a budget for guns but I don't.
User avatar #71 to #16 - rollinggolem (04/23/2014) [-]
But it's be pretty radical if a bear broke in.
#114 to #71 - darkace (04/23/2014) [-]
I looked into that once. Most smaller firearms can't do much to a bear, their skin and bones are to thick. If you managed a really lucky shot through the eye you might be able to kill a bear with a hand gun but that is nearly impossible if it is attacking you. Some bears have been found with multiple pistol rounds stuck in their skull. You will need a heavier hunting round to take down a bear.
User avatar #121 to #114 - rollinggolem (04/24/2014) [-]
Stick a b in his ear!
#122 to #121 - darkace (04/24/2014) [-]
Alrighty then????
User avatar #96 to #71 - commontroll (04/23/2014) [-]
Not really. It takes a lot to take down a bear.
User avatar #98 to #96 - rollinggolem (04/23/2014) [-]
I can swallow like 3 bears at once.
User avatar #104 to #6 - fuelnfire ONLINE (04/23/2014) [-]
Aight, so I used to live in the US. Was a Marine, joined the Navy later on. Nothing ever happened at home, albeit, I was never home long.

I moved to Canada a few years ago, land of polar bears, ehs, and politness. Moved to a nice big neighbourhood, huge house etc. After two years of living here, a bunch of punks kicked in my back door while I was sleeping, grabbed my PS3 (two months after release mind you), rummaged through my fridge for beers as well.

No handguns, only rifle was in a lockbox, so I picked up a wooden chair, one of them pulled a knife. Few wacks later, I knocked him out, and the other guy made off with the PS3. Huge pissoff, and the fact that someone had a knife, and broke into my house while I was sleeping made me pretty mad.

Still not scared to this day of anyone breaking in. Just kinda mad that they'd think of it.
User avatar #10 to #5 - jibb (04/23/2014) [-]
Wow, that says alot though.

If someone were to break in here in Norway, 90 % of them would not have weapons, and they would've fled if they were detected.

Perhaps because of gun control though, just sayan
User avatar #63 to #10 - pheonixinstinct (04/23/2014) [-]
yes because criminals tend to carry legal firearms bought at a local store and not from Pablos the trafficker

perhaps im wrong though
#30 to #4 - ccplb (04/23/2014) [-]
No, not really, we think about it now and then. We run a few scenarios in our heads every now and then, set up a plan on how we would move through the house in the event of an incident, and train frequently at the range. However, most of the time, we treat firearms like we would a fire extinguisher in the event of a house fire. We recognize that said scenario that is highly unlikely to happen, but it is better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it.
User avatar #44 to #30 - meierme (04/23/2014) [-]
perfect description! i could not have said it any better myself.
#133 to #30 - anon (04/24/2014) [-]
wow, i'm european and i have like 5 fire extinguisher in my house.... and i'm not even afraid of a house fire.

i can totally understand guns now
User avatar #8 to #4 - rollinggolem (04/23/2014) [-]
Sometimes I fantasize about someone breaking into my house and me killing them with a sword, but in reality people can walk right into my room while I'm on my computer and I don't even notice.
#140 - theflatulentpotato (04/24/2014) [-]
This is the first thing that came to mind when I read "the toaster laughed"...
#132 - darkdragonswrath (04/24/2014) [-]
toaster face after being shot
toaster face after being shot
#85 - miiaaaaa (04/23/2014) [-]
Never trust anyone!
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