Family Time. not mine, but funny.. My Dad asked me last night why I carry my 1911 in the house, what am I afraid of'? I looked him straight in the eye and said, decepticon gun safety lol Awesome
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#2 - xonorithedruid
Reply +207
(04/23/2014) [-]
Trust nothing, trust no one!!!
Trust nothing, trust no one!!!
#11 to #2 - dragonfucker
Reply +5
(04/23/2014) [-]
This would've been a much easier way to kill that son of a bitch
#84 to #2 - organicglory
Reply +8
(04/23/2014) [-]
#13 to #2 - roninneko
Reply +39
(04/23/2014) [-]
I knew I had something for this.
#21 to #13 - moshimoshi
Reply +7
(04/23/2014) [-]
#108 to #21 - anon
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Kill him 7 times more then!
#59 to #13 - mrpotatofudge
Reply +2
(04/23/2014) [-]
>saying a spell and not thinking it
******* pleb
#117 to #59 - cabbagemayhem
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
Even the ones that can cast it without speaking still can't beat 3000 fps.
#17 - icewizardftw
Reply +191
(04/23/2014) [-]
This time it was toast, this time...
#119 to #17 - twistedtheturtle
Reply +1
(04/24/2014) [-]
How long have you waited to use this
#124 to #119 - icewizardftw
Reply +1
(04/24/2014) [-]
I have waited a long time for this joke to be relevant
#69 to #17 - pappathethird
Reply +9
(04/23/2014) [-]
he looks strange from the side
#70 to #69 - icewizardftw
Reply +5
(04/23/2014) [-]
Well it was from one of the first episodes
#80 to #70 - bongconnery
Reply +4
(04/23/2014) [-]
i just thought your guys' comments in my head then saw your comments
#4 - PubLandlord ONLINE
Reply +19
(04/23/2014) [-]
For the Americans on this site, is it a constant worry or something you think about daily, having someone break into your house ? (or maybe just for the gun owners)
#24 to #4 - Orc
Reply -1
(04/23/2014) [-]
**Orc rolled image** twenty-five
#25 to #4 - anon
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I'm really paranoid and have anxiety issues, and sometimes I might hear a door opening (or imagine it?) even though i know neither of my parents or anyone for that matter should be coming home at that time, and I'll start freaking out and I go to hide in my parents bedroom until I realize how retarded I am and come out of my parents bedroom. If someone did actually come into my house and decided to break down my parents door all I would have to defend myself is a crowbar and a machete with a serrated backside and I don't know how well that would go.
#65 to #25 - lolme
Reply +2
(04/23/2014) [-]
I do belive you should get some counseling before you hurt some of your loved ones or that **** develops further.
#28 to #4 - puttman
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
the second amendment was made for the sole purpose of allowing the people to have the means to protect them selves from a tyrannical government. and if you dont use it you lose it
#67 to #4 - capslockjunk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Nah.
When I went to the UK that is when I was worried about getting robbed.
#68 to #67 - capslockjunk
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Also some gun owners fantasize about having their house burglarized just so they can put their gun to use
#102 to #4 - walmartysnextghost
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I hate to bring up the old fire extinguisher arguement, but it's really an ounce of prevention. Not to mention you have to be a moron to break into a house in a rural area because your ass WILL get shot.
#109 to #4 - erpee
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
No, it's just that there are a bunch of armchair generals who can only get off if someone breaks into their house so they can shoot the guy. In reality, it usually doesn't go that way. gif semi-related
No, it's just that there are a bunch of armchair generals who can only get off if someone breaks into their house so they can shoot the guy. In reality, it usually doesn't go that way. gif semi-related
#136 to #4 - thewellhungarian
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
For me and my family back home, we worry mostly about animals. Last year we had a bear break into the neighbors house and attack them. The husband got it with his 12 gauge before it got to him. Normally, in this instance, you just lock yourself somewhere safe and call for help, but sometimes, the animals are kinda aggressive.

Talking about people breaking in though, there was also a bunch of people getting raided for their 4-wheelers, even the ones that were locked up. Luckily, they got nabbed by the cops before it got too out of hand. We also had some scumbag break into our vehicle one night, I'm surprised he didn't try to hit the house too.
#12 to #4 - roninneko
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
Depends on where you live, but gang-related crime is actually a pretty big deal.
#29 to #4 - useroftheLOLZ
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
Kind of sort of. There is almost always the chance that someone is going to break into your house, which is why I used to have my AK47 ready, with a loaded magazine near by, just in case.

Thankfully, I never had to shoot anyone, but there have been times when people have had someone break into their house, and they have had to use lethal force, and I used to live in a up state, blue/whtie collar area. Unfortunately, where I live now, my firearms have to be constantly locked up, on the other side, there is almost no chance of someone breaking in, and if they do, someone will be there in a matter of minutes for sure. But I still have a plate carrier and permitted self defense equipment stashed away, just in case.

It's partially because I'm a paranoid ************, and partially because I was living with people I greatly cared about, and really, having a firearm at the ready, was one of the best ways to be prepared, if something were to happen.
#99 to #4 - commontroll
Reply +2
(04/23/2014) [-]
I'm just a person who is constantly on edge and prepared for the worst. I live in the fourth largest city in America, and grew up in a bad part of town. Because of seeing what kind of crap happens and knowing how ****** some people are, I just don't trust people. It's one of the main reasons I hate crowds, I just am always on guard. But that's just me. A huge amount of Americans are scared ******** of guns, that's why we're debating gun control.

So the reasons I have weapons are: with a knife it's a tool first, weapon second. I've never needed to pull out my knife for self defense, though there were situations it could have helped but it also gives me peace of mind. Guns are for sport, then hunting, then self defense. Also I like to think that if **** ever hits the fan massively, I can go into the woods and have something to at least help keep me and my family alive.

But more than anything, most Americans who love guns, like them because they're just a ton of fun. You're stabbing things from a distance via explosive launching. What's not to love? Especially when recipients of said stabs are paper or ballistic gel.
#128 to #4 - twofreegerbils
Reply +2
(04/24/2014) [-]
I don't constantly worry about my house burning down, but I keep a fire extinguisher anyways.
#39 to #4 - devildogpratt
Reply +3
(04/23/2014) [-]
Not worried about it really, but definitely prepared. The area I live in doesn't have a ton of crime but there is a lot of drug use, specifically heroin and people can do crazy things when they are desperate for their fix. I've never had to use a gun defensively thankfully, but I do use them at the range often, as well as for hunting and competition purposes
#5 to #4 - fuckingmeese ONLINE
Reply +11
(04/23/2014) [-]
No, not a constant fear. I just like to know that should i need to protect my life or the lives of my children, that I am equipped to do so. I live in a rural are and police response time can be to long if there is an armed intruder.
Also most gun owners are usually very responsible, it's just the few nut jobs that make gun owners look bad.
#6 to #5 - PubLandlord ONLINE
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
Fair , it just seems like a very different culture, because here ( UK small village) the thought of someone breaking in has never even crossed mine or my friends minds, because the likelihood is so small
#7 to #6 - fuckingmeese ONLINE
Reply +7
(04/23/2014) [-]
Honestly it really comes down to culture. I mean, I'm a veteran and I've been trained to be on edge. Beyond any of that, I'm just tired of the criminals that will have guns regardless of the laws, The same ones that shoot children or kill their families.
#16 to #6 - lean
Reply +5
(04/23/2014) [-]
I don't even lock the doors in my house (small town northern MN), but I have a Ruger SR40 holstered in my nightstand. I hope I never have to draw it on a person.
#113 to #16 - darkace
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Are you big Rugger fan? I love my SR9 its like your SR40 but a 9mm version.
#143 to #113 - fuckingmeese ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
I love my 10/22 and sr22 and my Ruger 380 with laser, Ruger fan over here.
#144 to #143 - darkace
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
Nice, good assortment there. I really like the SR9s weight and feel it was the one 9mm I kept coming to when I was testing some at a range so I decided to pick it up. It's my favorite gun. My other guns are a model 60 22LR, and a 20 gauge my grandma left behind when she went back home. Wish I had more of a budget for guns but I don't.
#71 to #16 - rollinggolem
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
But it's be pretty radical if a bear broke in.
#114 to #71 - darkace
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
I looked into that once. Most smaller firearms can't do much to a bear, their skin and bones are to thick. If you managed a really lucky shot through the eye you might be able to kill a bear with a hand gun but that is nearly impossible if it is attacking you. Some bears have been found with multiple pistol rounds stuck in their skull. You will need a heavier hunting round to take down a bear.
#121 to #114 - rollinggolem
Reply +1
(04/24/2014) [-]
Stick a b in his ear!
#122 to #121 - darkace
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
Alrighty then????
#96 to #71 - commontroll
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Not really. It takes a lot to take down a bear.
#98 to #96 - rollinggolem
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
I can swallow like 3 bears at once.
#104 to #6 - fuelnfire
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
Aight, so I used to live in the US. Was a Marine, joined the Navy later on. Nothing ever happened at home, albeit, I was never home long.

I moved to Canada a few years ago, land of polar bears, ehs, and politness. Moved to a nice big neighbourhood, huge house etc. After two years of living here, a bunch of punks kicked in my back door while I was sleeping, grabbed my PS3 (two months after release mind you), rummaged through my fridge for beers as well.

No handguns, only rifle was in a lockbox, so I picked up a wooden chair, one of them pulled a knife. Few wacks later, I knocked him out, and the other guy made off with the PS3. Huge pissoff, and the fact that someone had a knife, and broke into my house while I was sleeping made me pretty mad.

Still not scared to this day of anyone breaking in. Just kinda mad that they'd think of it.
#10 to #5 - jibb
Reply -5
(04/23/2014) [-]
Wow, that says alot though.

If someone were to break in here in Norway, 90 % of them would not have weapons, and they would've fled if they were detected.

Perhaps because of gun control though, just sayan
#63 to #10 - pheonixinstinct
Reply +9
(04/23/2014) [-]
yes because criminals tend to carry legal firearms bought at a local store and not from Pablos the trafficker

perhaps im wrong though
#9 to #4 - RageRambo
Reply +20
(04/23/2014) [-]
Not really. But Going to the firing range is quite fun.
#30 to #4 - ccplb
Reply +40
(04/23/2014) [-]
No, not really, we think about it now and then. We run a few scenarios in our heads every now and then, set up a plan on how we would move through the house in the event of an incident, and train frequently at the range. However, most of the time, we treat firearms like we would a fire extinguisher in the event of a house fire. We recognize that said scenario that is highly unlikely to happen, but it is better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it.
#44 to #30 - meierme
Reply +4
(04/23/2014) [-]
perfect description! i could not have said it any better myself.
#133 to #30 - anon
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
wow, i'm european and i have like 5 fire extinguisher in my house.... and i'm not even afraid of a house fire.

i can totally understand guns now
#8 to #4 - rollinggolem
Reply +153
(04/23/2014) [-]
Sometimes I fantasize about someone breaking into my house and me killing them with a sword, but in reality people can walk right into my room while I'm on my computer and I don't even notice.
#22 - MegalordMarcus
Reply +65
(04/23/2014) [-]
Soon, pitiful worms! Soon I will rule, and your lives will have their doneness setting turned to... darkest! Yeah, I know
#26 to #22 - amata
Reply +7
(04/23/2014) [-]
That may have been my favorite character in all of New Vegas
#31 to #26 - MegalordMarcus
Reply +12
(04/23/2014) [-]
He's everyone's favorite character
#37 to #26 - karson
Reply +9
(04/23/2014) [-]
I liked muggy.
#77 to #37 - scowler
Reply +6
(04/23/2014) [-]
"Do you know many coffee cups giant robot brains in jars use on a daily basis? NOT ******* MANY!!!"
#81 to #77 - karson
Reply +5
(04/23/2014) [-]
"Dr. O thought it would be ******* HILARIOUS to build a tiny neurotic robot. Big ******* laugh!"
#105 to #81 - scowler
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
*tiny neurotic Securitron.
#79 to #77 - karson
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#53 to #22 - samxdaxman
Reply +14
(04/23/2014) [-]
"I will burn the world in nuclear fire!"
'Already happened.'
"Oh... Well then I will burn the world in nuclear fire AGAIN!"
#82 - Killveous
Reply +61
(04/23/2014) [-]
> are there any decepticons in my kitchen?
> are there any decepticons in my kitchen?
#120 to #82 - anon
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
you could not get any more appropriate then that gif
#137 to #82 - tomthehippie
Reply +1
(04/24/2014) [-]
I don't think that gif has ever been more related.
#27 - useroftheLOLZ
Reply +37
(04/23/2014) [-]
>M1911 in .45 acp
>Not dual wielding gold plated Deagle Brand Deagle chambered in .50 African Eliminator, while getting blowed off by your 10/10 mom and 10/10 sister, while the cops bust open the door, see your Deagles, instantly becoming your *********** range buddies, who you share a beer with, after John Browning and Alexander Kahlaskinov descend from Valhalla, and give you their jointly designed rifle chambered in .50 Big ************* Gun, with scary assault features, and a fully semi automatic barrel shroud that when it goes up, it turns your assault bullets into heat seeking baby and cop killing missles that can shoot down planes, and can be easily concealed in your pocket, with 500 bullet clipazines.
>2/10 - Would shoot, and maybe loot if they had a chili and mac MRE
#42 to #27 - konysugandanbitch
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I'm sorry this isn't Borderlands.
#94 to #27 - hexadecimated ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
/k/- A magical place
#107 to #27 - marlton
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
Who is Alexander Kahlaskinov?
#110 to #107 - cidkh
Reply +1
(04/23/2014) [-]
A loving husband father and grandfather from Russia

....he also designed the AK-47 and some other successful firearms
#123 to #110 - marlton
Reply +1
(04/24/2014) [-]
Mikhail Kalashnikov designed the AK47 Avtomat Kalashnikova 1947 no Idea who Alexander Kahlaskinov is
#130 to #123 - useroftheLOLZ
Reply +1
(04/24/2014) [-]
Wow, I Mc ****** up. I was thinking of Alexandr Zaitsev when I was recalling Kalashnikov's name. Alexandr Zaitsev along with Vladimir Deikin, and a whole bunch of German scientists, were the guys who designed the AK47. Kalashnikov is honored as the sole designer, but he publicly stated that Alexandr and Vladimir were the two major collaborators when it came to designing the AK47. Thus, a cognitive **** up, known as Alexander Kahlaskinov.
#145 to #130 - Zaitsev
Reply +1
(04/24/2014) [-]
#127 to #123 - cidkh
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
touche, recognized the last name and brain made up some details to compensate. You are correct sir
#36 to #27 - karson
Reply +3
(04/23/2014) [-]
my new favorite comment. you completely won me over at "clipazines"
#89 - ppheadbuttface
Reply +33
(04/23/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#115 to #89 - darkace
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
That is one of the coolest Gifs I have seen in some time.
#126 - bslsk
Reply +3
(04/24/2014) [-]



The top three posts right now are Tumblr screencaps.

******* FJ.
#141 to #126 - anon
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
Tumblr you say?
#129 to #126 - joshofsouls
Reply +19
(04/24/2014) [-]
Here's an interesting concept.    
Not sure if this is groundbreaking or not, but due to the amount of people bitching about this sort of thing, I think I should share it with you.    
   
It's because people find it FUNNY   
I know this concept is sometimes hard to grasp, I mean, people on FunnyJunk having different senses of humour and finding things that you don't like funny? How strange, right?
Here's an interesting concept.
Not sure if this is groundbreaking or not, but due to the amount of people bitching about this sort of thing, I think I should share it with you.

It's because people find it FUNNY
I know this concept is sometimes hard to grasp, I mean, people on FunnyJunk having different senses of humour and finding things that you don't like funny? How strange, right?
#135 to #129 - givememoarpony
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
You can trust Bill Cosby.
#134 to #129 - tiredofthis
Reply 0
(04/24/2014) [-]
^^^^^^^^^^
This ******.
#86 - THISISNOTFUNNY
Reply +15
(04/23/2014) [-]
Disappointed in the lack of the brave little toaster post in the comments
#87 to #86 - anon
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
disappointed that you missed the chance to be the first and instead complained about it
#88 to #87 - THISISNOTFUNNY
Reply +14
(04/23/2014) [-]
log in and say that
log in and say that
#90 to #88 - anon
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
I never did the whole account thing. I don't like any of you people enough.
#91 to #90 - anon
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
you ******
#92 to #91 - anon
Reply 0
(04/23/2014) [-]
Not sure what you said, should I be offended?
#106 to #92 - atma
Reply +9
(04/23/2014) [-]
ANON FIGHT
ANON FIGHT
#14 - jakedertree
Reply +14
(04/23/2014) [-]
Dad: "What are you afraid of?"

Son: "Not a god-damn thing, Dad. Not a god-damn thing."