Everything dies. I wonder what's gonna appear below this...... playing DnD with buddies, I'm a human fighter because >tfw no originality we just killed a band of orcs, need to take proof of death "I roll to cut off  DnD 4Chan greentext
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#3 - iizpurple ONLINE
Reply +11
(12/29/2013) [-]
playing DnD with buddies, I'm a human fighter because >tfw no originality
we just killed a band of orcs, need to take proof of death
"I roll to cut off the ords head"
"roll for strength"
I roll
>1
"you miss the orc and castrate yourself, you take 3 points of damage and are bleeding"
healer fixes me up
I'm mad now
"I roll to drag the orc back to town"
"roll for strength"
>20
I dragged the entire orc band back across 300 kilometers of bush, with sliced up testicles, because I was too stupid to read the part about taking fingers or war trophies
#4 - applescryatnight
Reply +7
(12/29/2013) [-]
first game of dnd. have no clue what im doing.
>hobgoblin bard
>mentally retarded and plays a magical stick. favorite song is "song of hitting things with stick"
>hobgoblins are the apex of goblin hierarchy, which is treated as sortve a religion, with goblins at the bottom
>my character travels to a hobgoblin city, where he is accidentally mistaken as a philosopher, and somehow goes with it.
>suddenly asked about the caste system
>character loves everything. sunshine and sparkles and cute little bunnies. replies with "everyone should be nice to each other, and be equals"
>taken as speaking against hierarchy, banished from hobgoblin society
>accidentally starts rebellion of goblins against hobgoblins
>massive civil war started
>**** is heading south fast
>accidentally crowned high king of goblins, because they are even dumber than me and think im supporting their rebellion
>accidentally lead army of goblins to do my bidding.
>defeat everything

all by accident.
#1 - monkeybrains
Reply +7
(12/28/2013) [-]
Mine I'm on Hiatus with in Rogue Trader. Arch-Militant Alexander Degtyarev. Ex-Imperial Guard Valhallan (Russian) tank driver, demolitions expert, and sniper.

>1st session
>show up 4 hours late because of family
>party is on-world surrounded and taking cover behind a wrecked car
>they hear an engine revving
>Rhino APC bursts through a building, powerslides through 2 mercenaries and 16 civilians.
>Skids to a halt in front of the party
>A drunken guy with a thick russian accent and a bottle of vodka bursts from the top hatch of the blood covered Rhino
>"I AM HERE!"
>3rd mercenary passes out from the massacre
>Party grabs him, loads up, and heads back to the Frigate in orbit
>I removed the mercenary's kindey because someone suggested it and my PC was heavily drunk
#6 to #1 - sptnfouroneseven ONLINE
Reply 0
(01/04/2014) [-]
#5 - Lambda
Reply +5
(12/29/2013) [-]
I've never played D&D, but you know, reading stuff like this it sounds AWESOME.
#2 - groovierpoet
Reply +5
(12/29/2013) [-]
man do i love D&D stories
man do i love D&D stories