English. . PERM or BEING an E HMS H Mani KNEE? In susumu, an Hamil} Lute in THE PRESIDENT- I NEH: vow " THE Hum Fvst cqtm. All these clever folks in the comments section figuring out this complicated satirical masterpiece right in front of my eyes. What a beautiful triumph of human
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#19 - paintplayer (12/10/2013) [-]
All these clever folks in the comments section figuring out this complicated satirical masterpiece right in front of my eyes. What a beautiful triumph of human intellect.
User avatar #26 to #19 - thesovereigngrave (12/10/2013) [-]
Who is that man, and why does he remind me of Andrew Ryan?
User avatar #28 to #26 - paintplayer (12/10/2013) [-]
Vincent Price. They do look quite similar
User avatar #29 to #28 - thesovereigngrave (12/10/2013) [-]
Why thank you, kind sir.
#37 to #20 - paranoidweazle (12/11/2013) [-]
I read that in his voice...
User avatar #44 - brettyoke (12/11/2013) [-]
Glad somebody realized all of the jobs available as an English major:

Teacher
Author
Teacher
Poet
Teacher
Garbage collector
Teacher
Goldfish breeder
Teacher
Porn star acting as teacher
Teacher
User avatar #46 to #44 - mondominiman ONLINE (12/11/2013) [-]
Is poet even a real profession or something some guy refers himself as when he's doing some side job down at the coffee shop.
User avatar #47 to #46 - brettyoke (12/11/2013) [-]
It's a real job.

Requirements:
Macbook
False sense of superiority

(except Shel Silverstein, he's my ***** )
User avatar #1 - brobathehutt (12/10/2013) [-]
So is this like an alternate reality?
#11 to #1 - Rascal (12/10/2013) [-]
im about 3% shure that this is truth..
#2 to #1 - tezhy (12/10/2013) [-]
Nope 100% reality.
User avatar #4 to #2 - brobathehutt (12/10/2013) [-]
Well it must be on a different planet then.
#6 to #4 - taurusguy (12/10/2013) [-]
Nah, its on the same planet, our beloved Erth.
User avatar #33 to #6 - brobathehutt (12/11/2013) [-]
Oh yes I love e-ar-f
User avatar #16 to #6 - heartlessrobot (12/10/2013) [-]
**** , I took a wrong turn at albuquerque and ended up on Korriban.
User avatar #9 - sanbonzakura (12/10/2013) [-]
*meanwhile in a place that doesnt exist*
User avatar #3 - obsidicus (12/10/2013) [-]
my best friend is an English major. It's more like "As a result of your exceptional prowess in English, we would like to offer you no job."
#5 to #3 - charming (12/10/2013) [-]
Yeah, that's a part of the joke,
User avatar #7 to #5 - obsidicus (12/10/2013) [-]
ah thanks. My ineptitude at sarcasm strikes again.
User avatar #8 to #7 - obsidicus (12/10/2013) [-]
This is why I am not an English major.
User avatar #38 - gnarlueck (12/11/2013) [-]
my name is jacob but im not an english major
#35 - skiskate (12/11/2013) [-]
Meanwhile in a parallel universe
#36 to #35 - Rascal (12/11/2013) [-]
I feel like the pillow parents would be yelling at them, because it take a lot of baths to get blood out of your fabric.
#42 - wamesburger (12/11/2013) [-]
My English teacher has this on her wall
User avatar #12 - hankpym (12/10/2013) [-]
If you're an english major you apply for a government job
they usually need those guys to go to places and write reports about the location for them
all expense paid trip and they pay you money for it as well
#34 to #12 - Rascal (12/11/2013) [-]
Woah... you get paid... for a JOB??
User avatar #18 to #12 - noblexfenrir (12/10/2013) [-]
Yeah but usually they tend to go for people with atleast a minor in political sci. or something of that nature. Not to mention those jobs are very few.
#13 to #12 - places (12/10/2013) [-]
Well I certainly haven't seen any of them. I thought you said they were coming to me.
#22 to #13 - asdffes (12/10/2013) [-]
this has been a rough day for you hasn't it? people are calling you out all over the place, yet no one has the decency to actually show up.
#24 to #22 - places (12/10/2013) [-]
It's very lonely.
#25 to #24 - asdffes (12/10/2013) [-]
i believe it. maybe someday one of these people will actually go places and you will see them.
User avatar #14 to #13 - hankpym (12/10/2013) [-]
they aren't gonna go to you, but I know a person who applied and got the job quickly since not many people know about it

and its america
#15 to #14 - places (12/10/2013) [-]
I thought you said they go to places. I am places.
User avatar #27 to #15 - sepheroth (12/10/2013) [-]
There are a few places I love, you're now one of them.
#30 to #27 - places (12/10/2013) [-]
Thank you.
#23 to #14 - asdffes (12/10/2013) [-]
I dunno, have you ever tried to use USAjobs...its easier to talk to women then try and get an interview on that site.
User avatar #48 - charagrin (12/14/2013) [-]
lol, reminds me of my 9th grade English Teacher. She made a big deal out of every little thing in stories, and especially loved local artists. She brought in a exert from a local newspaper that had a submission from a locale. It was a poem, and the teacher made a huge deal over the double meanings the author was going for, the symbolism behind every word. one of the chicks stood up in class and told her she was wrong and did not know what she was talking about. The English teacher threw a bitch fit(like all teachers when questioned) until the girl revealed SHE wrote the poem, she said she literally made it in 5 minutes and her mom submitted it without telling her. Her name was on it and everything. We had a new English Teacher the next semester.
#32 - pursh (12/11/2013) [-]
Christopher Nolan studied English literature!!!
TAKE THAT!

...
User avatar #31 - swimmingprodigy (12/11/2013) [-]
>in a parallel universe.....
#17 - Rascal (12/10/2013) [-]
Or you can work a normal job while writing a future best seller novel, get it published , and live the rest of your life swimming in mulah like J.K. Rowling. Just a thought...
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