English Motherfucker!. . If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in  English Motherfucker! If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem will be speaking better than 90% of the native speakers
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English Motherfucker!

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will
be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers
in the world,
After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he' d prefer six months of
hard labour to reading sis lines aloud,
Dearest cream re in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and swam, retain and Britain.
Mind the latter, how it' s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe,
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Immoral,
kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would,
viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your ' s DH
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with dangler.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, game, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, low.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fluffer does, and Zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal,
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succor r, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, am aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary,
Crevice and device and Erie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
large, but target, gin, give, verging,
ought, out, must and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation [think of Psyche!}
Is a paling stout and spiky?
won' t it make you lose your wits,
Writing goats and saying grits?
its a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
...
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Views: 29385 Submitted: 10/07/2013
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (99)
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20 comments displayed.
#53 - lanfear
Reply +9
(10/08/2013) [-]
stickied by talkingbrickbrick
A couple people below asked for a text version, Here I am giving it to everyone who feels they need to copy/paste it somewhere.    
   
www.i18nguy.com/chaos.html
A couple people below asked for a text version, Here I am giving it to everyone who feels they need to copy/paste it somewhere.

www.i18nguy.com/chaos.html
#58 - tekoronia
Reply +4
(10/08/2013) [-]
stickied by talkingbrickbrick
If anyone want to hear it, I found two videos on youtube.
Female: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y51qdpA0WoA
Male: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1edPxKqiptw
#4 - xtremehivoltage
Reply +52
(10/07/2013) [-]
Frenchman would rather surrender to words than read them
#9 to #4 - mikesch
Reply -1
(10/08/2013) [-]
**mikesch rolled a random image posted in comment #11 at Can we uh... **

Did you just...
I laughed irl.
#28 to #4 - fuckthemhipsters
Reply 0
(10/08/2013) [-]
Oh my god, you beautiful bastard.
Oh my god, you beautiful bastard.
#10 - ogloko
Reply +12
(10/08/2013) [-]
got 2/3s of the way through w/o making mistake. then i got bored.
#76 - xgeneration
Reply +2
(10/08/2013) [-]
tl;dr
#77 to #76 - Keoul
Reply +9
(10/08/2013) [-]
You are the 90%
You are the 90%
#80 to #77 - indonesia
Reply 0
(10/08/2013) [-]
sauce?
#81 to #80 - Keoul
Reply 0
(10/08/2013) [-]
Boondocks
#47 - ilovehue
Reply +7
(10/08/2013) [-]
What's a Fe0ffer?
#2 - fuiuki
Reply +6
(10/07/2013) [-]
My english teacher printed this out and put in our classroom c:
#64 - verycoolcat ONLINE
Reply +5
(10/08/2013) [-]
Still easier to read than old english literature.
#21 - itemexchange
Reply +4
(10/08/2013) [-]
this wasnt that hard actually im sure if you read it really fast you can get twisted but just reading it i was able to get it
#23 to #21 - jtwagner
Reply +1
(10/08/2013) [-]
But the faster you read the more poem like it is and the easier it becomes.
#24 to #23 - itemexchange
Reply 0
(10/08/2013) [-]
to an exsend if yo uread it so fast it doesnt flow your brain loses the connections and is jsut reading words which causes you to not think of what word your reading
#25 to #24 - warioteam
Reply +2
(10/08/2013) [-]
...are you sure you read it completely right?
#26 to #25 - itemexchange
Reply 0
(10/08/2013) [-]
yes i read a lot and so iv seen a lot of these words before
also iv seen this post before so i unfairly remembered learning a lot of these
because i read a lot and have seen this before iv learned a lot of the little things that make these different
plus its like with plague you have to be able to pronounce it to know what it is
so unless theres a word i dont know up there i can read it
#15 - ofalo
Reply +4
(10/08/2013) [-]
so, is this suppose to be hard for native english speakers? because it isnt
#55 to #15 - anon
Reply 0
(10/08/2013) [-]
as in people i england that speak english.