Upload
Login or register
x

Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist

 
Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the **** out of just about anything. And as they have no limbs, or organs, they can absorb pretty much all of the damage no sweat. Beware the sea, for only porous rage ascends from it's salty depths.


(Enlarge)
Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

For some reason the near fetishistic tree-worship of the Elves means they get super offended if they see stuff made from wood?


Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

Your Dwarves like the dark, dank closeness of their subterranean caves. But if they stay inside too long, when they have to make trips to the surface their bodies need to do a little "adjusting" to all that nasty sun and fresh air.


(Enlarge)
Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

So say something bad happens in your fortress. Just once. Don't worry about forgetting it, because your engravers will tirelessly engrave horrific scene after horrific scene depicting it over and over again all over your fortress walls. I mean c'mon guys, does the disembowelling of Urist by undead peacocks NEED to be carved on the walls of the children's quarters?


(Enlarge)
Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

Perfect sites exist in Dwarf Fortress. Deep soil, ample metal, friendly wildlife. Only one catch: AQUIFERS. These are several layers on your map which are basically entirely water, sitting beneath that deliciously farm-able soil and above all that precious metal. Common tactics include dropping a plug of earth into the water so you can mine down, and pumping it somewhere more useful.


Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

For something that is essentially murder-liquid, Magma sure is useful. Elves have trees, Humans have, I dunno, disease or something, and Dwarves have delicious Magma.


(Enlarge)
Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

This is the only waifu for me.


Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

I've had this happen before. Sometimes I'll lay tossing and turning in bed, thinking about that expansion I had planned.


(Enlarge)
Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

I think we all knew this was going to happen eventually. Seriously though, some people have made gorgeous constructions in Dwarf Fortress.


Dwarf Fortress 8, Dwarf Hand Urist. So yeah, for some reason sea sponges are balls of concentrated, absorbent rage. Without limbs they manage to maul the out of

I think we've all seen this image by now. But somehow it wouldn't be right if I didn't post it at some point.

Tomorrow, more humour! Or would you prefer art?

Hope you guys enjoy!

+389
Views: 23239
Favorited: 41
Submitted: 09/22/2015
Share On Facebook
submit to reddit +Favorite Subscribe to greenimp

Comments(45):

Leave a comment Refresh Comments Show GIFs
Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest
Anonymous comments allowed.
45 comments displayed.
Reply
+9
User avatar #1 - greenimp [OP](09/22/2015) [+] (8 replies)
stickied by greenimp
There is a first one of these, it is here: /Dwarf+fortress/funny-pictures/5685250/
There is also a second one of these, mysteriously it appears here: /Dwarf+fortress+humour+2+magma+boogaloo/funny-pictures/5686315/
There is ostensibly a third, but I don't believe their lies: /Dwarf+fortress+3+son+of+dwarf/funny-pictures/5687561/
I tell you lad I saw a fourth, I saw it with me own eyes: /Dwarf+fortress+4+art+attack/funny-pictures/5688684/
Rumours of a fifth abound, for those brave enough to seek it out: /Dwarf+fortress+5+the+revengening/funny-pictures/5690201/
We can now safely confirm the discovery of a sixth: /Dwarf+fortress+6+trouble+in+dwarftown/funny-pictures/5691338/
It's ok man, I know where we can get our fix, this guy has a seventh: /Dwarf+fortress+7+shot+through+the+art/funny-pictures/5691608/

If you're looking at getting into Dwarf Fortress but don't know **** about how it works, this is a great place to start: afteractionreporter.com/2009/02/09/the-complete-and-utter-newby-tutorial-for-dwarf-fortress-part-1-wtf/

If you want an easy to use program that'll boot DF with various tileset options and additional programs like Dwarf Manager (Dwarf Manager is truly fantastic, it lets you assign what jobs Dwaves do on the fly, easy as clicking.) You can grab the Lazy Newb Pack here: lazynewbpack.com/

And remember, losing is fun!

Mentions: funnyhat, nikolaier, echotheambient, boxcarracer, eurgh, zaxzwim, lexivex, rakogoki, willielilja, stickmanz
Reply
+39
#20 - thechosentroll (09/23/2015) [-]
I was actually playing v34 earlier today when something happened. My hunter was shooting at a pack of dingoes when she suddenly gave birth. This minor distraction made her drop her guard, so the dingoes decided to avenge their fallen comrades and attacked her. As she was fighting them off, the baby just sat there, helpless, as the dingoes encircled it and started drawing closer and closer. Just as I thought it was dead for sure, a goblin popped up out of nowhere, picked up the baby and ran off, while the hunter was busy rearranging the dingoes faces. That cheeky little cunt denied me the joy of telling the internet about how dingoes ate my baby.
Reply
+15
User avatar #10 - rakogoki (09/22/2015) [-]
i recently started a volcano fortress. it was in a haunted arctic, no grass, no trees, goblin fortresses surrounding it, salt water everywhere. as an extra challenge i made enemies with the elves and human caravans and used no traps, so there were invasions and sieges pretty much every season. kept a small working force of dwarves and every migrant after would become soldiers dedicated to training 24/7. population reached 100 and the biggest goblin siege yet had arrived. i forgot to let all the soldiers get some sunlight in the last year so every last one of them charged across the map leaving a gigantic green trail behind. i just sat there laughing for a good few minutes imagining the image of goblins staring in horror as an army of the tough as nails battle crazed dwarves of the inhospitable volcano of doom vomit everywhere, kill them all, then vomit all over their corpses and head back home like nothing happened.
Reply
+8
User avatar #15 - thekittyman (09/22/2015) [-]
Is this game good for people who have no desire to live anymore?
Reply
+1
#44 to #15 - anon (09/23/2015) [-]
The best.
Reply
+3
User avatar #18 to #15 - thechosentroll (09/23/2015) [-]
It's great.
Reply
+4
#2 - anon (09/22/2015) [-]
10/10 comp. Please do more.
Reply
+2
#30 - diespitris (09/23/2015) [-]

Because of these comments I downloaded Dwarf Fortress. Played it for ten minutes.

... And by ten minutes, I mean that sleep is for the weak.

Although, I have no ******* idea what I'm doing. Please tell me there's a Wiki for this...
Reply
0
User avatar #37 to #30 - snakiter (09/23/2015) [-]
This post also made me want to try.
I am following this guide : afteractionreporter.com/2009/02/09/the-complete-and-utter-newby-tutorial-for-dwarf-fortress-part-1-wtf/

And here is the link for the tileset (the link in the tuto is broken) : goblinart.pl/vg-eng/df.php
Reply
+1
User avatar #31 to #30 - greenimp [OP](09/23/2015) [-]
dwarffortresswiki.org/

You know it baby.
Reply
+3
#32 to #31 - diespitris (09/23/2015) [-]

Many thanks! You the real MVP.

Even though I could have easily Googled that, but I'm lazy and you're super nice so thank you.
Reply
+3
User avatar #23 - Shaostoul (09/23/2015) [-]
These Dwarf Fortress posts make me happy.
Reply
+2
#24 - hetreks (09/23/2015) [-]
**hetreks used "*roll picture*"**
**hetreks rolled image**theres so much i don't understand. so many questions unanswered. I kind of like it this way.
Reply
+2
User avatar #39 to #24 - elsanna (09/23/2015) [-]
S-sweet roll?
Reply
+2
#16 - bluebobdopepants (09/22/2015) [-]
"Cancels store item; Forbidden area"

Also, DF mentioned, glorious day
Reply
+2
User avatar #9 - jaevel ONLINE (09/22/2015) [-]
[Vinesauce] Joel - Dwarf Fortress Adventure Mode ( Part 1 )
Reply
0
User avatar #3 - nustix (09/22/2015) [-]
I am currently looking for iron, it's my first world and all I can find is dolomite and limonite or something like that nothing to craft weapons with. Is it possible I just got screwed on base location? Other than not finding minerals Im doing pretty good, it's my first try and only 2 dwarfs got accidently killed in a wererat accident.
Reply
0
User avatar #4 to #3 - greenimp [OP](09/22/2015) [-]
Yo, good news! If you've got Limonite you've got iron my friend. This tends to trip up most people new to DF, but like with most things, the creator loves him some realism. You won't get anything so mundane as "Iron ore" popping up in your stocks list. Just like in real life, Iron comes from specific types of Iron ores. The four major Iron ores are (In descending order of average % iron composition) Magnetite, Hematite, Goethite and Limonite. Would you believe that knowledge is from a childhood obsession with rocks and minerals?

Basically, build a smelter, and tell it to smelt Iron. Your Dorfs will grab a chunk of Limonite, melt the impurities out of it and you'll get a shiny new Iron bar.

Hope this helps!
Reply
0
User avatar #5 to #4 - nustix (09/22/2015) [-]
Now I feel like an idiot, I'm in my second week of university studying geology, I guess I'll be a pro at this game by the time I finish.
Reply
0
User avatar #6 to #5 - greenimp [OP](09/22/2015) [-]
Nah, don't feel bad. If someone handed you a rock of Limonite you'd spot it in a second. With all the names it can get a bit confusing is all. =P
Reply
+1
User avatar #7 to #6 - nustix (09/22/2015) [-]
Nah I still feel a bit idiotic, even though we haven't covered this in these two weeks. Anyway thank you for the heads up now I can finally arm the millitary and kill that wererat if it shows up again, it dissappeared after killing a miner and my expidition leader and never came back.
Reply
0
User avatar #8 to #6 - nustix (09/22/2015) [-]
New question, on a scale from 1 to your fortress is ruined, how bad is it when someone who is possessed goes mad?
Reply
+2
#14 to #8 - silvanyis (09/22/2015) [-]
Heh.

Let me tell you a story about Grimwold. He was one of the original 7 that started my hold. A master digger! He could blaze new rooms in seconds! Unfortunately he was adopted by an innocent..little..kitten.

This kitten would follow him everywhere. Including outside. It was outside that the kitten was viciously slaughtered by a mountain lion.

Grimwold became depressed. Then shut himself into his room and refused to leave. Even in this, he would have been cared for. However, it was sheer, administration oversight that drove him over the edge.

You see, we had been plagued with an abundance of kittens. The cats were exploding in population at an alarming rate. So, the leather workers began making clothing from their corpses. Kitten skin makes for very fine leather afterall.

No one is completely sure of the following events. Survivors speak in hushed tones of Grimwold going insane, running out into the halls, stripping to nothing but his own leathery backside, then slaughtering the guardsmen who attempted to preserve his dignity.

He ran into the underground farmlands, next to the aquafier that was held at bay by a basalt floodgate. (pull the damn lever!). He took his trusty pick, and for the love, or madness, of a kitten, dug a straight line directly into the aquafier.

No dwarf was able to stop the floodtides. No dwarf could foresee that they would drown in their own homes. Those that survived were already above the surface, their home..lost forever in a watery grave.

tl;dr: LOCK THE ************* UP.
Reply
+1
User avatar #45 to #14 - nustix (09/23/2015) [-]
Everything went k, he was a lye maker, so I googled what being possessed was and being the newbie I am I thought giving him an ashery would work. When it didn't work I kind of gave up, but when I made a craft dwarf thingy he did his bussines so crisis averted. I'm quite proud of myself, I only lost two people so far I could have done worse.
Reply
0
User avatar #12 to #8 - kungfuchedder (09/22/2015) [-]
It can differ, it can be a one if he wasn't really too liked or had any family, potential tantrum spiral if he was someone important which can be a ruiner if you have no balance between nice thoughts and bad. If you can help it, try and fulfill their needs or assign war dogs to the person possessed if you can't help them. The dogs will follow and attack as soon as he turns hostile.
Reply
+1
User avatar #42 - fawcks (09/23/2015) [-]
Been playing adventure mode nonstop. The combat system is absolutely nuts. Only game where I can punch a guy in the stomach till all of his organs are bruised and he starts vomiting, grab the vomit, forcefeed it to him, then make him barf it back up again while his permanently hobbled friend looks on in horror next to him as I butcher and eat his friend's heart.
Reply
+1
User avatar #13 - kungfuchedder (09/22/2015) [-]
I dream in ASCII after long hours as well.
Reply
0
#36 - blademontane (09/23/2015) [-]
>Be me
>Get Dwarf Fortress
>Play as adventurer
>Game lags. In Ascii.
Reply
0
#40 to #36 - anon (09/23/2015) [-]
It is loading everything that has happened for miles around, every thought, every action every GOD DAMN TREE LEAF FALLING.

it might take some time.
Reply
-1
#35 - mastercolossus (09/23/2015) [-]
yea im waiting for better interfaces.
Reply
0
User avatar #33 - nanako ONLINE (09/23/2015) [-]
So call me casual, but i can't really stand playing dorf fortress because i hate permadeath


I play rimworld a fair bit, but i always save scum if anyone dies. And i really like that i can replace any destroyed limb or organ and get people back to working order.

is there any casual baby mod for dorf fort that makes dwarves not able to die? i think i'd like it more with that
Reply
0
User avatar #34 to #33 - greenimp [OP](09/23/2015) [-]
I'm not aware of any mod that'll stop your dwarves from dying, but the base game auto-saves every season. You could roll back when you die maybe?

Is Rimworld worth it? I was looking at it the other day. Would you recommend it?
Reply
0
#41 to #34 - anon (09/23/2015) [-]
Rimworld might not have all the awesome detail that DF has but it has a better interface graphics and a different setting so you could have fun with it.
Reply
0
User avatar #43 to #33 - fawcks (09/23/2015) [-]
Save often, close with task manager instead of quitting if you die.

Frowned upon but not forbidden.
Reply
0
#29 - ohhitheree (09/23/2015) [-]
I always wanted to try this, but I'm pretty sure my brain would explode
Reply
0
#17 - verycoolcat (09/22/2015) [-]
I've tried dwarf fortress like 3 times... never could really get into it.
 
Leave a comment
<
>
 Friends (0)