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Desperate

Funnyjunk...if ever there was a time I needed advice and support it is right now.

Backstory: I am 22 and been married for 2 years, though the past 6 months she has been living with another man and left me only because I did not have all the monetary things she wanted, we have a 2 year old son whom i love to death and hardly get to see.

Now, because of past proceedings my mental state has been past the bar for a long time, and I have learned just tonight that she allows this man to discipline my son and I am at a point that I do not know what I can do that will let me be with my son, I NEED HELP! all the things that have transpired to this point I have been unable to do anything and my mind is turning to a violence i wish to never do for the sake of being with my son and not in jail for anything.

please help me guys and girls.....i do not know anymore
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Views: 1371
Favorited: 1
Submitted: 12/26/2015
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User avatar #2 - cutegif ONLINE (12/26/2015) [-]
Are you filing for divorce?
-Did she cheat? Did you cheat?
-Why did you split?

If you don't mind also sharing, care to explain why you are hard on funds? Did you lose a job? To gain custody, a big factor is who can provide financial stability for the family.
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User avatar #6 to #2 - bloodeyes [OP](12/26/2015) [-]
and she is the one who wanted the divorce in the first place, after she starting seeing the other guy
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User avatar #5 to #2 - bloodeyes [OP](12/26/2015) [-]
I am making her pay for the divorce as she is the one who cheat, we owned a home, and because she would not get rid of one dog, we lost it, she went to live at her parents place while i had to live in a hotel, and she left me because i could not give her the best ****
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User avatar #12 to #5 - lindypop (12/26/2015) [-]
Ummmm so you were renting a home, because if you owned the home...no one could tell you that you couldn't have a dog...so you guys were renting and broke the lease I'm going to assume there was more than just the dog because very few landlords would just be like GET THE **** OUT if it was just you had a dog that wasn't ******* up the property. I'm not sure what your lease was like but that sounds kinda janky. So kind of from your story your wife left you because she wanted you to provide her and the son you both share with food and shelter? Or was she demanding designer purses and **** ?
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User avatar #8 to #5 - cutegif ONLINE (12/26/2015) [-]
A divorce isn't something you should let her spearhead; even if it costs you financially, please present as much evidence as you can and have it laid out clear that she is the reason the divorce is happening. If she spins it as that you were for any fault, it can severely impact your chances of getting custody.

I'm assuming you're American, and if yes; you may want to get a legal council on how to walk away best from this, as in America you have a negative bias in the court system for child custody hearings. If you can get her to give you custody or state that she doesn't want full custody, you'll be better off. If she's fighting for the kid as much as you, I'm sorry; the road ahead will be tough, but a legal council can help you. Especially if she is the reason the divorce is happening, a legal council will hopefully get you what you're looking for.
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#14 - anon (12/27/2015) [-]
I went through a similar situation... only the roles were reversed.

A woman I was friends with could not get a divorce from her husband, nor to get him out of her house. Cops said " you're married, he lives here with your kids, he isn't doing anything illegal and we can't do a thing unless he does".

So she ends up moving into my place with her kids, after two months of this we start dating. Had been close friends for years and the kids loved me.

As a result, her husband who she was seperate from, filed the papers for divorce and tried seeking custody. The ex-husband was unemployed/unemployable because of PTSD due to serving, had no home, and was textbook definition a piece of **** - not saying you are man as it seems you actually care ABOUT the kids and not pissing off your spouse.

Turns out the state of WI was going to rule in HIS favor because he claimed " she cheated on me to force our divorce and emotionally traumatized me".

Yeah - pure bitch. He wouldn't let go and was destroying his childrens lives and a woman who was supposed to be important he treated like **** .

Tl:dr having been in the position of your spouse, it can be easy to screw her over as a mentally unfit homeless bum was going to get custody of children by default until we went to court to fight it.

Get a lawyer, do it for the kids, and make sure your heart and mind is in the right place. If you cannot provide your children with an amazing life, whatever that means to you, sometimes it is better to allow someone else to fill in for you. ****** as that reality sounds, boss.

On another note - that's beyond ****** up that he disciplined your kids. I still don't do that to my step kids after 3 years of marriage and an additional 3 of dating now - 6 years in total. One thing if your wife permits it, but not his place or right to do.

Hell I got accused of the same **** and had to beat down dude at my house on MY BIRTHDAY because he was being stupid about it. And his kids watched. Then told me " I always told dad one day someone will beat him like he did us."

And a guy like THAT was nearly given custody over the parent that was stable and the children's preference.

So you should get it if done right - all the best, guy.
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User avatar #13 - idhitjack (12/26/2015) [-]
Lawyer up. Never get married again
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User avatar #1 - zaperzero (12/26/2015) [-]
The best thing for your mental state is to avoid FJ for a while. Maybe get a job.
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User avatar #11 to #1 - lindypop (12/26/2015) [-]
for some reason I can't stop giggling at the get a job...kudos even though I'm fairly certain that was not meant to be funny.
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#15 - anon (12/27/2015) [-]
Do you have supervised visits? If not take him to the playground, some place rough where he will get bruises. Then call ss / police saying you suspect your kid is being abused because of all the bruising, just noticed it while changing his diaper, and you want it investigated.

Once your spose and her boyfriend are investigated the balls in your court, and unless you drop it, too much momentum for the pendulum to swing back in her favor through the gov't view.

May or may not be ethical though to allow your boy to get bruised so that the two cucks/pieces of trash get investigated go reveal how ****** up they are. Really all you've gotta do to win it cause normal people don't do this, and whatever their amoral quirk is won't remain hidden under a fine tooth comb.
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#10 - anon (12/26/2015) [-]
"cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccscccczcccccccccccccccccc"-Friend's cat
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User avatar #9 - sinery (12/26/2015) [-]
You're ****** mate, if she got legals over the kid.
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User avatar #7 - magneficat (12/26/2015) [-]
i feel sorry for you man - same thing happened to my sister so get a divorce asap - my sister let it drag out for 5 years

try to save any texts (especially bitchy/mean ones) she or her cheater boyfriend sent you - these can help you allot in court for settlements with your son.

times have changed - although you're the father the court should sway in your favour for you ever since your partner cheated

if your having money problems to pay for a court settlement in regards to your son (i think it might cost money i'm not sure) ask your friends, family and maybe on FJ ask for a $1 donation - there's no harm in asking and most of the people here are decent. suck up any pride you got from asking for help - this is for the better of your son.
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User avatar #4 - whompers ONLINE (12/26/2015) [-]
Seeing a marriage counselor with your wife might help. You can advocate for getting more time with your son in front of a neutral third party and figure out where your marriage is headed.
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User avatar #3 - fatminion ONLINE (12/26/2015) [-]
get divorced, go back to uni, learn about life and how great it is and how you almost ****** up your life by getting married before you can legally drink alcohol in the US, and then enjoy your new life and forget about that woman and kid.

Sorry, no sympathy for people who get married before they even know what life is all about.
 
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