Conan's Celebrity Survey Strikes again. . t probably won' t see the movie "Noah" because... I probably won' t see the movie "Noah" because... it doesn' t appeal
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Conan's Celebrity Survey Strikes again

t probably won' t see the
movie "Noah" because...
I probably won' t see the
movie "Noah" because...
it doesn' t appeal to me.
Oblivia Wilde wrote..-
it doesn’ t appeal to me
t probably won' t see the
movie "Noah" because...
I' m not very religious.
Bevin Cross wrote...
I' m not very religious.
t probably won' t see the
movie "Noah" because...
I was bullied by Noah in
high school.
Limy King wrote...
I was bullied by Noah in high school
...
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Submitted: 03/27/2014
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Comments(92):

[ 92 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#14 - dafuckisthishit (03/28/2014) [-]
i hope it's a lot like when russel crowe was on south park
#3 - tannerninja (03/28/2014) [-]
**tannerninja rolled image** the only reason I want to see Noah.... Is Emma
User avatar #5 - pocketstooheavy (03/28/2014) [-]
Thank god it was captioned. I don't know what I would have done without them...
User avatar #97 to #5 - pocketstooheavy (03/29/2014) [-]
148 greens? Wtf?
#9 - sedativechunk (03/28/2014) [-]
... I don't know why but the 			*******		 captions russled my jimmies hard ruining an otherwise good post.
... I don't know why but the ******* captions russled my jimmies hard ruining an otherwise good post.
#50 - BigDoktor (03/28/2014) [-]
From the same episode:   
   
"I love March Madness because..."   
   
Gary Busey wrote:   
   
"...It's right before April-Through-February Madness."
From the same episode:

"I love March Madness because..."

Gary Busey wrote:

"...It's right before April-Through-February Madness."
#47 - justalie **User deleted account** (03/28/2014) [-]
**justalie rolled image** if ponies i Delete account
User avatar #62 to #47 - spookyblack (03/28/2014) [-]
Probably just disabled it
#49 to #47 - Rascal (03/28/2014) [-]
I'm so sad... This was my account
#57 to #49 - shadowbreech (03/28/2014) [-]
I applaud your dedication.
I applaud your dedication.
#56 to #49 - pulluspardus (03/28/2014) [-]
**pulluspardus rolled image** if ponies dat means I love you more den 4ever.
User avatar #58 to #56 - pulluspardus (03/28/2014) [-]
I crimea evrytiem
#28 - pabloenis (03/28/2014) [-]
**pabloenis rolled comment #1044837 ** :
top kek.
why I don't wanna see noah.
User avatar #82 to #28 - mcfluffykins **User deleted account** (03/28/2014) [-]
Holy **** , my story...
#34 - comradewinter ONLINE (03/28/2014) [-]
David Cross is not religious.
David Cross is not religious.
User avatar #59 - lucozadeaholic (03/28/2014) [-]
I don't Noah why I wouldn't see it.
#41 - Rascal (03/28/2014) [-]
i can barely comprehend what they're saying.
we needed some captions damnit
#31 - bulanu (03/28/2014) [-]
**bulanu rolled image**
#39 - babbe (03/28/2014) [-]
Im not religious either, but its still a cool story/koncept for a film, so why not watch it for that purpose?
#11 - Rascal (03/28/2014) [-]
I'm actually very excited to see that movie. It looks like an amazing story whether you are religious or not.
User avatar #13 to #11 - demandsgayversion (03/28/2014) [-]
It'd be too annoying watching it while some large black woman is there, all, "Mmmmhmm", every 10 seconds.
#25 to #13 - Rascal (03/28/2014) [-]
I am a Christian and I totally agree. That get's annoying.
#7 - Shadwstryker (03/28/2014) [-]
The reason I won't see Noah  not that anyone cares  is cause they're taking the story from the jewish bible and smashing it together with a bunch of other religions and making it all a green peace movie which is not appealing to me at all. If you're gonna tell a story, either do it right or make your own. Don't butcher it to make it fit with what you believe and then label it as the opposite of what it really is. And yes, that goes for everyone that butchers the bible to further their own agendas, from the westboro baptist church to the vatican to athiests and everything in between.   
That's my two cents.
The reason I won't see Noah not that anyone cares is cause they're taking the story from the jewish bible and smashing it together with a bunch of other religions and making it all a green peace movie which is not appealing to me at all. If you're gonna tell a story, either do it right or make your own. Don't butcher it to make it fit with what you believe and then label it as the opposite of what it really is. And yes, that goes for everyone that butchers the bible to further their own agendas, from the westboro baptist church to the vatican to athiests and everything in between.
That's my two cents.
#15 to #7 - thevoodoofrog (03/28/2014) [-]
I find it weird that they're doing a movie about the story of Noah, when previous films about the same subject matter have done REALLY badly.

That, and the Noah story is pretty much universally considered stupid by everyone, even the Catholics at my high school thought it was a silly story.
#27 to #7 - presentdent (03/28/2014) [-]
You're a moron. They're not mashing it with other religions. They're taking all of the Apocrypha (that is, Biblical accounts that the Roman church of the 300s AD decided not to include in the Bible because it didn't fit their agenda) about the world/story of Noah and using it in the story because the Noah story preserved in the King James' Bible would make a horrible, preachy movie.

Furthermore, if you don't believe in going green, **** you in general. But the movie's message is not about that. It's about "Don't piss off God or a bunch of Half-Angels and Demons will **** up the world and... also... the bible is way crazier than we thought."

Most of the time, Biblical movies that 'follow the bible' don't even do so. You know how your idea of an angel is some long-haired dude with wings? 1. Totally not true. 2. Totally less badass. Never are angels described this way in the Bible. Angels are either Cherubim (not the fat child angels), who have four faces (Eagle, Lion, Ox, Man) facing in different directions, Seraphim (creatures who use their six wings to cover their bodies lest their holy purity kill you if you see them), and Thrones (described as "wheels within wheels" rimmed with eyes).

If anything, Noah is getting back to Biblical basics by including all the ****** up monsters.
#95 to #27 - Shadwstryker (03/28/2014) [-]
You judge me without even knowing me, and I'm the moron? And yeah, the biblical account of Noah as read in the (not edited by Catholics) Jewish texts does not include Noah wanting to kill himself so the animals could live. It does not include stone giants, it does not include angels and demons 			*******		 up the world because God got pissed off. The story of Noah, again, from the JEWISH texts and NOT from the Christian/Catholic bible includes ANGELS who left heaven, going around and impregnating humans, animals, and pretty much anything they could get their dick inside who then gave birth to all sorts of 			******		 up soulless creatures who thought of nothing but base instincts at all times. Rape, murder, thievery, gluttony, pretty much every bad thing was abundant, and Noah was NOT chosen because he was a good guy, Noah was chosen because his bloodline was the last bloodline unmarred by the angel's 			*******		 around. THAT is the sole reason he, his wife, his sons, and their wives were chosen.   
Also, My idea of an angel has never been some long haired dude with wings. Real or not, that's an argument for another time that I'm not stating my opinion on. But when they show in the, again, NOT edited by Catholics Jewish text, they show in the form of men. Because that is how God chose to show them to certain men. Granted, he showed Ezekiel what you described, but angels are not limited to physical forms because they are spirit beings. (Side note, when God said "Let us make man in our image" he did not mean the physical human form, but the spirit that resides in the body.)   
And one last thing, I have nothing against going green. I recycle as much as I possibly can, I drive a car with a low emission rating, and I bike whenever possible, because I believe in taking care of what I am a part of. However, I do not believe in killing off the human race so that animals can inherit the earth, because humans are capable of great things when they're not busy being total assholes.   
/rant
You judge me without even knowing me, and I'm the moron? And yeah, the biblical account of Noah as read in the (not edited by Catholics) Jewish texts does not include Noah wanting to kill himself so the animals could live. It does not include stone giants, it does not include angels and demons ******* up the world because God got pissed off. The story of Noah, again, from the JEWISH texts and NOT from the Christian/Catholic bible includes ANGELS who left heaven, going around and impregnating humans, animals, and pretty much anything they could get their dick inside who then gave birth to all sorts of ****** up soulless creatures who thought of nothing but base instincts at all times. Rape, murder, thievery, gluttony, pretty much every bad thing was abundant, and Noah was NOT chosen because he was a good guy, Noah was chosen because his bloodline was the last bloodline unmarred by the angel's ******* around. THAT is the sole reason he, his wife, his sons, and their wives were chosen.
Also, My idea of an angel has never been some long haired dude with wings. Real or not, that's an argument for another time that I'm not stating my opinion on. But when they show in the, again, NOT edited by Catholics Jewish text, they show in the form of men. Because that is how God chose to show them to certain men. Granted, he showed Ezekiel what you described, but angels are not limited to physical forms because they are spirit beings. (Side note, when God said "Let us make man in our image" he did not mean the physical human form, but the spirit that resides in the body.)
And one last thing, I have nothing against going green. I recycle as much as I possibly can, I drive a car with a low emission rating, and I bike whenever possible, because I believe in taking care of what I am a part of. However, I do not believe in killing off the human race so that animals can inherit the earth, because humans are capable of great things when they're not busy being total assholes.
/rant
#99 to #95 - presentdent (03/29/2014) [-]
Not a big fan of the stone giants myself. Thought they had plenty of material with Niphelim in general. As for the rest of it, it's drawing on Apocrypha, as far as they said during production.
User avatar #96 to #27 - Shadwstryker (03/28/2014) [-]
Furthermore, I apologize for the lateness of the reply, I just got off work. Regardless of whatever differences we may have, you are a beautiful person and I respect you and your opinion. I only replied in defense of myself. Continue to have a swell day, or night, depending on your location.
#92 to #27 - Rascal (03/28/2014) [-]
That sounds pretty cool, we need more of those bible movies.
#94 to #92 - presentdent (03/28/2014) [-]
Hell, most Bible movies now'a'days take out all of the sex and violence than even the King James' Bible includes. Honestly, movies like Son of God are complete wastes of time by nutjobs/people trying to make a buck off faith.

Just for reference: In the "Golden Age" of Hollywood, they made more Biblical movies because they could get around censors to show more sex and violence if they claimed they were just shooting for Biblical accuracy, than they could if they just made an action/romance movie.
User avatar #10 to #7 - mechaemperor (03/28/2014) [-]
Dude, the Bible's been edited, translated and re-edited countless times.
Movies are entertainment for the most part, and this particular story can be interpreted in many ways, since the source material isn't all that reliable.

It's akin to bitching about Disney movies because they "butcher" original stories.
#80 - MasterManiac (03/28/2014) [-]
"I probably won't see the movie Noah because I'm not religious."   
   
This argument hurts my brain. It's like saying "I don't want to see 12 Years a Slave because I'm not a 			******		."
"I probably won't see the movie Noah because I'm not religious."

This argument hurts my brain. It's like saying "I don't want to see 12 Years a Slave because I'm not a ****** ."
User avatar #83 to #80 - popcornisland (03/28/2014) [-]
"I don't want to see 12 Years a Slave
What was that meant to say?
User avatar #87 to #83 - MasterManiac (03/28/2014) [-]
The film "12 Years a Slave"...
User avatar #89 to #87 - popcornisland (03/28/2014) [-]
Ah I see. thanks
#86 to #80 - Rascal (03/28/2014) [-]
He might mean he has little knowledge on the subject, and it just doesn't appeal to him because it's about religion/is from a religious book.
He probably put no thought into his comments, and just posted it as a justification why, it's a quote from twitter, dude, not everyone puts thought into every post they make on there.
#68 - neogiga (03/28/2014) [-]
**neogiga rolled image**
#32 - brothrak (03/28/2014) [-]
**brothrak rolled image**
**brothrak rolled image**
User avatar #26 - luqmanr (03/28/2014) [-]
I won't see Noah because it won't be in the theaters where I live
User avatar #12 - evilanakie (03/28/2014) [-]
i wont see it
because im blind
User avatar #17 to #12 - huffe (03/28/2014) [-]
do you see blackness or just nothing at all?
User avatar #18 to #17 - evilanakie (03/28/2014) [-]
i see MS paint objects
User avatar #19 to #18 - huffe (03/28/2014) [-]
i see, very intradesting
#20 to #19 - evilanakie (03/28/2014) [-]
**evilanakie rolled image** i will make this into what i see
0
#22 to #20 - evilanakie has deleted their comment [-]
#21 to #19 - evilanakie (03/28/2014) [-]
did i the thing
User avatar #23 to #21 - huffe (03/28/2014) [-]
dear diary: today i learned i should be very sorry for blind people
User avatar #24 to #23 - evilanakie (03/28/2014) [-]
why do you think we wear the less eye ***** shades
#66 to #24 - Rascal (03/28/2014) [-]
I hate to be insensitive, but are you actually visually impaired?
Notsureifhavingagiggleornot.jpg
User avatar #98 to #66 - evilanakie (03/29/2014) [-]
yes i am, i have glasses but when i remove them its exactly like i shown above, with blur lines and FOX engine lighting
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