Check Description. HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT Bathroom at a Subway. One of those bathrooms that has 2 stalls and a urinal. Anyhoo. I notice a soldier, dressed in fa
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HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT

Bathroom at a Subway. One of those bathrooms that has 2 stalls and a urinal. Anyhoo. I notice a soldier, dressed in fatigues and everything, walking in behind me. He heads to the stall by the wall, I go to the one right next to it. Did I forget to mention... I had the shits... He was one of those shy shitters who holds it until the other person's done... He's a soldier, Im not going to make a hero's ass hole suffer.
So... I brace myself. Only to hear him drop 1, only to have him say "sorry"

--fuckno-- I grip the walls and concentrate, unleashing World War 3. I began to scream, "COVERING FIRE!" -graphic shitting sounds- "CALLING FOR AN AC-130! WE NEED BACK UP" -graphic shitting sounds- "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! WE NEED BACK UP!"

Suddenly, He answers me, "Roger that Zulu 16, you are code green for strike zone. Code green for strike zone" -graphic shitting sounds-

At this point I have the most moronic grin on my face, "COPY CONTROL! TAKE COVER BOYS" -both bombarding the toilets with explosive shit storm-

He calls out, "Boy am I glad to see you guys"

I respond, "We lost some good men... in war... there are no true winners... just heros who stand for what they believe in. I salute you sir"

We both finish up and flush. I wash my hands, and he exits the stall, I stand in salute until he finishes washing his hands and salutes me back.

We exit the bathroom laughing, only to have some of the people in the line at Subway clapping for us....

Go to Subway.... find embarrassed soldier with the shits... leave with a round of applause

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Views: 10247
Favorited: 44
Submitted: 01/26/2014
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User avatar #2 - potatomiley (01/26/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I really hope this is legit
#4 - crystalblue ONLINE (01/26/2014) [-]
Almost didnt read - glad i did
Almost didnt read - glad i did
User avatar #1 - rsca (01/26/2014) [+] (1 reply)
where is the fucking favorite button for this shit? Best damn think I've read on FJ yet.
#6 - anonymous (01/27/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Im pretty sure ive heard this exact story only with a recruiter at a high school
#9 - jonathankitty (01/27/2014) [-]
See now, you've gone and served our country. You're a hero.
See now, you've gone and served our country. You're a hero.
User avatar #5 - tittylovin (01/27/2014) [-]
Ancient copy pasta.
I think it was originally a greentext.
#10 - anonymous (01/27/2014) [-]
too bad that never happened
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