Boy, that escalated quickly.. . Two chemists wall: We a Bar. One of them asks tor - The other asks tor and giggles. The Bartender serves them truth peroxide bec

Boy, that escalated quickly.

Two chemists wall: We a Bar.
One of them asks tor - The other asks tor and giggles.
The Bartender serves them truth peroxide because he' s tucking
tired of chemists walking into his bar and trying that take
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Submitted: 04/01/2014
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#47 to #41 - wimwam (04/02/2014) [-]
#52 to #47 - wrongexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
The second scientist is a addicted to bifilium nitrate. He wanted to get high on it by harvesting the souls of the h2o molecules found in the water
User avatar #48 to #47 - xanderpetty (04/02/2014) [-]
H2O2 is deadly. The first scientist was hoping he would say "I would like some H2O too"
User avatar #49 to #48 - wimwam (04/02/2014) [-]
Thanks. Now I can just wonder why a bartender would serve H2O2 in a glass to a customer.
User avatar #50 to #49 - xanderpetty (04/02/2014) [-]
Refer to comment #7
User avatar #51 to #50 - wimwam (04/02/2014) [-]
You're on fire today. +2
#24 to #1 - budgeting (04/01/2014) [-]
104 isn't Oh.. It's actually Rutherfordium
User avatar #2 to #1 - benschien (04/01/2014) [-]
well actually it's hydroxide
User avatar #3 to #2 - kjoni (04/01/2014) [-]
No the h isn't capitalized and it's missing the little net charge minus sign at the top right
User avatar #4 to #3 - benschien (04/01/2014) [-]
User avatar #5 to #4 - kjoni (04/01/2014) [-]
No it ISN'T Oh YOU ******* IT's MISSING THE ******** oh wait you were just saying oh.
User avatar #6 to #5 - benschien (04/01/2014) [-]
#59 to #6 - hillbillypowpow (04/02/2014) [-]
what the hell do you people want?
#81 to #3 - anon (04/02/2014) [-]
User avatar #106 to #81 - kjoni (04/02/2014) [-]
Neither is hydroxide.
#20 to #1 - biscuitsunited (04/01/2014) [-]
I like mine better
#23 - vgmddg (04/01/2014) [-]
#70 - skeptical (04/02/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#57 - include (04/02/2014) [-]
What happens when   
A former chemistry teacher accidentally hires hitmen to kill his relative and his partner.   
They Barium.
What happens when

A former chemistry teacher accidentally hires hitmen to kill his relative and his partner.

They Barium.
#58 to #57 - magerogue (04/02/2014) [-]
that's when they kill hank
#78 to #58 - Orc (04/02/2014) [-]
User avatar #60 to #58 - include (04/02/2014) [-]
#61 to #60 - magerogue (04/02/2014) [-]
honk is kill
User avatar #62 to #61 - include (04/02/2014) [-]
#63 to #62 - magerogue (04/02/2014) [-]
User avatar #97 to #57 - sovietsamurai (04/02/2014) [-]
I was happy when hank died ... I hated him and his HURR DURR YER NAT MAH FAMILY ANY MOOR I DUN EHEN KNOW YEW!!!

The only character that I ever truly liked was Mike

I was happy though that those stupid rednecks got killed off by Heisenberg's rotating gun ..... Mainly because I dislike rednecks ..... and for some reason it made me really happy to see them bleeding and choking in their own blood

please don't judge me
#73 to #57 - malhaloc (04/02/2014) [-]
Why are helium, curium and barium the medical elements? Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium.
User avatar #32 - theblastradius (04/01/2014) [-]
Johnny was a chemist's son,
But Johnny is no more.
What Johnny thought was H2O
was H2SO4.
#22 - anon (04/01/2014) [-]
Two Nazis walk into a BAR...
User avatar #107 - thomaster (04/02/2014) [-]
You could really say all the good chemistry jokes argon by now...
User avatar #108 to #107 - forett (04/02/2014) [-]
that was so-dium funny.
User avatar #76 - nimbin (04/02/2014) [-]
Johnny was a chemist's son, but johnny is no more, what he thought in his glass was H2O, in fact, was H2SO4.
#8 - mysticninja (04/01/2014) [-]
jokexplain ?
User avatar #90 to #8 - contentexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
The man's father was a chemist and he has serious daddy issues
User avatar #71 to #8 - peoplexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
bandwagons can escalate quickly
#9 to #8 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
I got this. This is a reference to a joke where two scientists go into a bar, one of them orders H2O which is the molecular formula for water while the other says "I'll have some H2O too" which sounds like "I'll have some H2O2" which is the molecular formula for hydrogen peroxide which is toxic. So the second scientist dies.
User avatar #36 to #9 - axeul (04/01/2014) [-]
Hey, you took er jerbs! This was a job for chemexplain!
User avatar #37 to #36 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Oh god. I'm so sorry chemexplain.
#44 to #37 - chemexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
It's all good. You can answer whatever you can as you wish.
User avatar #45 to #44 - historiexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
Do not fear historiexplain is here (there is a lot less history content on here then i anticipated...)
User avatar #65 to #45 - mostlyjunk ONLINE (04/02/2014) [-]
You could explain how when why and where H2O2 was first used?
User avatar #68 to #65 - historiexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
i appreciate the bone tossing, also i've been doing similar stuff on other content.. anywho Louis Jacques Thénard discovered it in 1818 when he threw in some barium peroxide and nitric acid. He later improved this by adding sulfuric acid to hydrochloric acid (which precipitates the barium sulfate byproduct.). His way for manufacturing 2(HO) was used until the 20th century, until they improved upon it by using ammonium bisulfate. However, now they take the elements and use thermodynamics to create it just from hydrogen and oxygen. This was a problem because doing this usually would want to become water instead (because less energy is required) However, in '05 some German technicians developed a minute (nanometer-size) phase-controlled noble metal crystal particles on carbon support, which acts as a catalyst to make 2(HO) instead of H2O. Louis was a teacher, and a obviously a chemist. He (like most 19th century scientists) liked playing around with **** , and one day he discovered 2(HO) he also did a profound research paper on bile.Louis was a cool scientist, and actually got his name inscribed on the Eiffel tower, along with 71 other people. Finally he deveolped a pigment known as Thernard's blue, as a cheap coloring agent, because Jean-Antoine-Claude Chaptal wanted him to. Thernard's blue is also more commonly known as cobalt blue, a coloring option on the Jeep Wrangler, and the color of Sonic the Hedgehog.
User avatar #69 to #68 - historiexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
-batman the reason i do this is because there are 4 of us running the historiexplain side of funny junk, and we all have nicknames, white shadow, batman, saber, and boardgame
#112 to #68 - mostlyjunk ONLINE (04/04/2014) [-]
Sorry for the late reply, but thank you in this expansive and interesting information! That was a good read and very fluent for a not so light subject.
10/10 would call in action again.
User avatar #113 to #112 - historiexplain (04/04/2014) [-]
Thank you very much for your seal of approval, I try my damned hardest
#111 to #68 - historiexplain has deleted their comment [-]
#82 to #68 - anon (04/02/2014) [-]
This is cool. We get bioxplain, chemexplain and history on the subject. Please do drop whatever wherever, all of you. I would like to learn on fj, so whatever subject is even slightly related can be responded to
User avatar #94 to #82 - frankpolard (04/02/2014) [-]
so weaponexplain, what destruction can Water do?
User avatar #103 to #94 - weaponexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
Sorry for the delay, I was busy, definitely not being emotionally distraught over the HIMYM finale.

Anyway, where do I even begin on how water can be used as a weapon? What weapon in mother nature's arsenal can even come close to the sheer destructive force of water? Over the course of human history, nothing except for maybe disease, has killed as many people as tsunamis, floods, and the ocean have.

And that's just the earth alone. Humans can be far more intricate with water. Perhaps the simplest and most savage way to kill with water is to shove someones face underwater, or take a pointy icicle and shove it through their jugular. And then in the civil rights period south, police were fond of using fire hoses to give a quick bath to disgruntled citizens who happened to have more melanin in their skin than others. Steam could also be used as a weapon, provided you can get close enough to somebody to turn their face into a reenactment of the Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I have heard of new research trying to use sound waves to pulse water forcefully enough to cause damage, but I don't know where they are on that. I guess it depends on where you draw the line, how much of the weapon has to be water based for it to count?
User avatar #110 to #103 - frankpolard (04/02/2014) [-]
That's already more information than I expected!

And you didn't say water bomb or riot water cannon, applause!
#56 to #37 - dontread (04/02/2014) [-]
to be fair water is pretty damn important in bio
#64 to #56 - mostlyjunk has deleted their comment [-]
#66 to #64 - dontread (04/02/2014) [-]
Prolly with like 10 minutes prep time
User avatar #67 to #66 - mostlyjunk ONLINE (04/02/2014) [-]
Sorry, weirdly enough that replied on your comment, was trying to toss historiexplain a bone
User avatar #75 to #37 - assrocket (04/02/2014) [-]
I have a feeling it's gonna be a while before you -explain-ers learn not to stumble over each other.
Ye jus' got ter get yer sea legs, cap'n. It'll come to ye.
User avatar #100 to #9 - droghandel (04/02/2014) [-]
its funny cuz its not biology hurhurhurhur
#84 to #9 - chupavisor (04/02/2014) [-]
Excellent work! However, the bartender serves them both peroxide so they both die
User avatar #25 to #9 - jamesisnotreal (04/01/2014) [-]
Although Hydrogen Peroxide is deadly in high concentrations, we do have small concentrations in our body, specifically our blood, to ensure that the haem group in our blood doesn't 'rust' in our body agree with everything you said, just thought i'd add to it because i'ma smartass
User avatar #26 to #25 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Appreciate it man. Expansion is always welcome.
#42 to #26 - anon (04/02/2014) [-]
That's what she said.   
 tee hee
That's what she said.
tee hee
User avatar #43 to #42 - bioexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
She sounds like a very polite lady.
#11 to #9 - urapooper (04/01/2014) [-]
so where is chemexplain?
User avatar #12 to #11 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Sciencexplain covers chemistry.
#13 to #12 - urapooper (04/01/2014) [-]
then why do you exist biology should also be under science?
User avatar #14 to #13 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Because Sciencexplain is more a chem/phys person so when something biological comes up I get called. I'm a biochemist irl so I can answer questions on chemistry as well when sciencexplain is not around.
#15 to #14 - urapooper (04/01/2014) [-]
Ah I see... so you sort of work under him in a way that you know more stuff in one field while scienexplain will deal with general science questions and other fields until other experts on the field shows up
User avatar #16 to #15 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Exactly. I'm also making content teaching some topics in biology. Next content is going to be on genetics if I can figure out how to use GIMP to make panels.
#27 to #16 - mcbexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
ohh nice, Genetics. I loved that class. Which topics are you covering?

And do you use GIMP 2, because if so, panels are pretty easy to make on it
User avatar #28 to #27 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Well first I'm going to be covering the basics (what is a gene, mitosis and meiosis, punnett squares etc.) then I will do recombination and genetic linkage, then a short one on constructing a genetic map. After that I'll do transcription and then cloning. Also yes I use GIMP 2.
#29 to #28 - mcbexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
You might as well through replication and translation there as well. I know that back when I made those videos, people found transcription easier to understand once they understood DNA replication in the molecular level.

Also, if you plan on making educational videos, I suggest using camtasia, but if you want to stick to picture panels, then you could still use gimp.

Just hit file-new, pick the dimensions of the background and set it as transparent. Make the separate pictures that you want to use as a slide separately, and insert them as layers. This helps if you want to add some nice effects to the pictures.

Another thing I recommend, is using pyMol (you should be able to get the educational one with You need to login to view this link e-mail address). I used it a lot back when I took Biophysics and it's awesome for 3D molecular rendering.

Its nice to see people who like biology as much as I do on here
User avatar #33 to #29 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Oh of course replication and translation will be covered. I touch on it in the first content but I'll cover it more fully when I talk about the differences between eukaryotic genes and prokaryotic genes. I'm thinking of making comics. I may do videos later but not quite yet. I use pyMol all the time! It's ridiculously useful for modelling proteins.
#34 to #33 - mcbexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Oh awesome. I'm gonna sub so I can see them when they're posted
User avatar #35 to #34 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
I presume your name means molecular and cell biology explain?
#38 to #35 - mcbexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
yup! though I doubt there'll be much need for it haha.
Not too often you see people posting about any of the content that my degree covers haha (especially since my focus is Microbiology)
User avatar #39 to #38 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Yeah, sorry about that. I kinda took the general biology name. So are you currently doing any research? I always like talking about stuff in the other fields of biology. I'm a biochemist and I'm currently doing research on Anastatica.
#40 to #39 - mcbexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
oh thats fine man, I doubt I'd have had the time to explain things on here anyway. Plus you probably know a ton more about it then I do seeing as I'm only on the first actual year of my master's.

But yeah I'm currently working with Absidia corymbifera vs. certain strains of bacteria and Gauses's exlusion principle, though I'm beginning to notice that it the fungus isn't just out-competing the bacteria in the dishes, it might be producing some kind of antibiotic and killing them, because every time I try to isolate bacteria in the dish, I can't find any. But I haven't had the time to look further into it and design an experiment to determine whether thats true or not. Plus I don't have any funding at the moments so it's been delayed.

And nice, you got to travel. What are you working on?
User avatar #46 to #40 - bioexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
That sounds like a lot of fun. During my masters I looked rhododendron responses to topology. It was dull. In the small amount of time I worked on microorganisms I remember so many things going wrong. I once had a mixture of gram negative rods and gram positive cocci collected from a sample. The first week went well, the streak plates had all that was expected but the second week when we isolated them in different types of agar the gram positive cocci has just vanished. Wasn't even in regular nutrient agar. Anyway, I'm currently expanding on the work of Friedman et. al. on the drought tolerance of Anastatica hierochuntica, pretty much doing the same thing just with better equipment.
#109 to #46 - mcbexplain (04/02/2014) [-]
yeah that has happened to me a few times. It's pretty frustrating and time consuming. But that sounds like awesome research man, wish you all the luck with it
#31 to #29 - mcbexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
also, the optimal resolution is 5672 pixels per inch, choose that for both x and y
#30 to #29 - mcbexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
go through*
#19 to #15 - chemexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Hi, I also cover chemistry, though all three of us are probably pretty well rounded, so if it's not something super specific to our field, whoever gets called or shows up first can just answer the question.
User avatar #17 to #15 - bioexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
Unless you know any free programs I can use.
#10 to #9 - mysticninja (04/01/2014) [-]
OH H2O "too" got it. Thanks boiexplain.
#7 - anon (04/01/2014) [-]
Alternative ending: They both get water, what kind of bar would serve hydrogen peroxide?
User avatar #18 to #7 - sciencexplain (04/01/2014) [-]
This one. Duh...
User avatar #89 - mrgoodlove (04/02/2014) [-]
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesn't get offended when you tell this joke
#91 to #89 - anon (04/02/2014) [-]
pic unrelated
User avatar #92 to #91 - mrgoodlove (04/02/2014) [-]
That looks like an offended pizza if I've ever seen one
User avatar #98 to #89 - sovietsamurai (04/02/2014) [-]
The Jew taste delicious even without the oven

But the pizza, you have to bake it to make it good ...
User avatar #88 to #87 - zahnrad (04/02/2014) [-]
Oh, I get it.
#105 to #87 - anon (04/02/2014) [-]
H2O Delirious.... nice lol
#102 - stunnedmullet (04/02/2014) [-]
And that Bartender put a stop to that tag-team's momentum with authority, King!
#101 - seizure (04/02/2014) [-]
You should be really dedicated to the ******* joke if you're gonna order H2O2 and giggle and then die.
User avatar #99 - youreminenow (04/02/2014) [-]
There's only one real question I have... why does the bartender have that **** ?
User avatar #54 - captinchikin (04/02/2014) [-]
If I was a bartender I'd wonder why they were being such dickholes and saying "h2o" instead of "water", but hey.
#53 - skatin (04/02/2014) [-]
Hydrogen peroxide will not kill you, at least not a glass of it. You would regurgitate it almost immediately, if you could even consume it in the first place.
User avatar #77 to #53 - Mortuus (04/02/2014) [-]
Pure hydrogen peroxide would burn you fairly well. Even with regurgitation, there would be a large amount of damage.
User avatar #86 to #53 - huffe (04/02/2014) [-]
h2o2 you get from the store will feel a bit like carbonated water, except worse. food grade will have you burping and regretting taking your first breath.
pure h2o2 would just set you on fire
#95 to #74 - gedab (04/02/2014) [-]
Nito with it
Nito with it
#114 to #95 - wereallcrazyhere (04/08/2014) [-]
omg that's awesomer
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