Best Divorce Letter ever. Probably repost but meh. BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER I Dear Wife, I' m writing you this letter to tell you that I' m leaving you forever. Girl divorce Marriage words stuff millions dollars haircut

Best Divorce Letter ever

Best Divorce Letter ever. Probably repost but meh. BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER I Dear Wife, I' m writing you this letter to tell you that I' m leaving you forever.

Probably repost but meh

Dear Wife,
I' m writing you this letter to tell you that I' m leaving
you forever. I' been a good man to you for
years a I have nothing to show for it. These last 2
weeks have been hell. ___ Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today a that was the last
straw. Last week, you came home 8 didn' t even
notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite
meal A even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers
You ate in 2 minutes, is went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. You don' t tell me you
love me anymore; you don' t want sex or anything
that connects us as husband 3: wife Either you' re
cheating on me or you don' t love me anymore;
whatever the case, I' m gone.
PS. don' t try to find me- Your SISTER 8: I are
moving away to West Virginia togethere Have a
great life!
Nothing has made my day more than receiving
your letter. It' s true you a I have been married for if
years, although a good man is a far cry from what
you' been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant whining El griping Ton
bad that doesn' t work. I DID notice when you got a
hair cut last week, but the sst thing that came to
mind was 'You look just like a girly Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if you can' t say
something nice, I didn' t comment. And when you
cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped
eating pork T years ago. About those new silk
boxers: I turned away from you because the . 99
price tag was still on them, 8 I prayed it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed
from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved
you El felt we could work it out. So when I hit the
lotto for IO million dollars, I quit my job 8 bought us
2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were
gone- Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I
hope you have the fuming life you always wanted.,
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures
you won' t get a dime from me So take care
Signed, Your Exlife, Rich As Hell 8 Free!
PS- I don? know if I ever told you this, but my sister
Carla was born Carl. I hope that' s not a problem.
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Submitted: 10/14/2013
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#14 - internetrage (10/14/2013) [-]
The Carla/Carl bit ruined the whole thing
#17 to #14 - tommythek (10/14/2013) [-]
I actually remember seeing something like this a long time ago, pretty much the same joke except the wife was the one who cheated.
User avatar #38 to #17 - internetrage (10/15/2013) [-]
yeah I saw that too
#20 - xenause (10/14/2013) [-]
Sorry if i do not realize it is a repost.
User avatar #2 - rynkar (10/14/2013) [-]
too bad its often the opposite way around.
User avatar #10 to #2 - pkashp (10/14/2013) [-]
The original was... this is an altered version where the genders are all switched.
User avatar #13 to #10 - DJstar (10/14/2013) [-]
#1 - anon (10/14/2013) [-]
Best RESPONSE ever.
#26 - anon (10/15/2013) [-]
I thought this was going to be some gender swap thing since the man was whining about cooking, sex, and her not noticing his hair cut (the other two are realistic, but that? Hell no), while the woman was working.
User avatar #23 - gatorotterdolphin (10/14/2013) [-]
I thought he was mocking the wife at first "you never listen to me, say you love me"
#22 - perolaf (10/14/2013) [-]
Just saying "i just won 10 million dollars and you aint gettin **** " would be enough
#25 - justthisonepost **User deleted account** (10/15/2013) [-]
This looks like something my grandma would share on facebook

Jesus christ funnyjunk get your **** together
User avatar #16 - syntheticdoll (10/14/2013) [-]
I read this with switched genders and it sounded much better.
User avatar #3 - skypatrol (10/14/2013) [-]
I actually feel bad for the guy.
User avatar #11 to #3 - oceanmist (10/14/2013) [-]
Pretty clearly fake though
#4 to #3 - LewdFlapjack (10/14/2013) [-]
Dude was clearly cheating on her. He deserves this lol.
User avatar #5 to #4 - skypatrol (10/14/2013) [-]
#8 to #5 - taurusguy (10/14/2013) [-]
Well, if he had cheated on her, ok, not forgivable in my mind but i guess some can overlook that, but accusing your wife of cheating when you are doing it yourself? God damn anyone that does that deserves nothing more than heaven, because i dont want someone like that down in hell with me.
#31 - walmartysghost **User deleted account** (10/15/2013) [-]
I feel like this was gender-swapped
User avatar #32 to #31 - ilikethisusername ONLINE (10/15/2013) [-]
girls dont have to be the ones who are the assholes all the time man. maybe it wasn't gender-swapped and thats the story. i dont know if it's true or not but it was fun to read. if it was real, then i guess the asshole husband got what he deserved.
#36 to #32 - walmartysghost **User deleted account** (10/15/2013) [-]
and i'm not saying it because he's the one being the asshole, i'm saying it because its clearly fake, due to the lottery and sexchange reference in the last line. And if you change sister with brother, boxers with thong, soaps with sports, it sounds like any good for this guy finally one upping the woman leaving him email you receive from one of your coworkers thats been made up in the last 10 years. I'm not being sexist, its just that it seems like a really bad gender swapping job in my humble opinion.
User avatar #37 to #36 - ilikethisusername ONLINE (10/15/2013) [-]
true. it does sound like its been made up. but meh, half the **** you read on the internet is made up anyways.
#33 to #31 - jayax (10/15/2013) [-]
The original version of the post was with different genders.
User avatar #30 - Lintutu (10/15/2013) [-]
This joke is backwards..
User avatar #29 - nicnacquarterback (10/15/2013) [-]
i actually saw this a couple years ago. it is originally girl leaving guy
#27 - robbuck has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #28 to #27 - swimmingprodigy (10/15/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure that this is the joke, sort sort of social irony how women can use this as an excuse for divorce, whereas if man tried to do the same thing he'd be called a pussy.

or something idk
User avatar #24 - manofparody (10/15/2013) [-]
Usually this would be a win, but there's too much **** in this to be true. It's blatantly ******** .
User avatar #21 - umaya (10/14/2013) [-]
That line about she stopped eating pork 7 years ago, that made me go "oh snap" out loud, which is uncommon for me, so what I'm saying is, that was a good comeback.
User avatar #19 - tuned (10/14/2013) [-]
but if the guy won the lottery oh you would never hear the end of it

User avatar #18 - pappanoodles (10/14/2013) [-]
so why change genders to this old joke ?
it doesnt even make sense... notice my haircut ? its more logical if he had married carl
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