Best Divorce Letter ever. Probably repost but meh. BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER I Dear Wife, I' m writing you this letter to tell you that I' m leaving you forever.
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Best Divorce Letter ever

Probably repost but meh

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER I
Dear Wife,
I' m writing you this letter to tell you that I' m leaving
you forever. I' been a good man to you for
years a I have nothing to show for it. These last 2
weeks have been hell. ___ Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today a that was the last
straw. Last week, you came home 8 didn' t even
notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite
meal A even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers
You ate in 2 minutes, is went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. You don' t tell me you
love me anymore; you don' t want sex or anything
that connects us as husband 3: wife Either you' re
cheating on me or you don' t love me anymore;
whatever the case, I' m gone.
Your
PS. don' t try to find me- Your SISTER 8: I are
moving away to West Virginia togethere Have a
great life!
Nothing has made my day more than receiving
your letter. It' s true you a I have been married for if
years, although a good man is a far cry from what
you' been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant whining El griping Ton
bad that doesn' t work. I DID notice when you got a
hair cut last week, but the sst thing that came to
mind was 'You look just like a girly Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if you can' t say
something nice, I didn' t comment. And when you
cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped
eating pork T years ago. About those new silk
boxers: I turned away from you because the . 99
price tag was still on them, 8 I prayed it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed
from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved
you El felt we could work it out. So when I hit the
lotto for IO million dollars, I quit my job 8 bought us
2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were
gone- Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I
hope you have the fuming life you always wanted.,
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures
you won' t get a dime from me So take care
Signed, Your Exlife, Rich As Hell 8 Free!
PS- I don? know if I ever told you this, but my sister
Carla was born Carl. I hope that' s not a problem.
...
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Views: 21889
Favorited: 41
Submitted: 10/14/2013
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Comments(37):

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#14 - internetrage (10/14/2013) [+] (2 replies)
The Carla/Carl bit ruined the whole thing
User avatar #3 - skypatrol (10/14/2013) [+] (4 replies)
I actually feel bad for the guy.
#4 to #3 - LewdFlapjack (10/14/2013) [-]
Dude was clearly cheating on her. He deserves this lol.
User avatar #2 - rynkar (10/14/2013) [+] (2 replies)
too bad its often the opposite way around.
#20 - xenause (10/14/2013) [-]
Sorry if i do not realize it is a repost.
#1 - anonymous (10/14/2013) [-]
Best RESPONSE ever.
#26 - anonymous (10/15/2013) [-]
I thought this was going to be some gender swap thing since the man was whining about cooking, sex, and her not noticing his hair cut (the other two are realistic, but that? Hell no), while the woman was working.
#25 - justthisonepost **User deleted account** (10/15/2013) [-]
This looks like something my grandma would share on facebook

Jesus christ funnyjunk get your shit together
User avatar #23 - gatorotterdolphin (10/14/2013) [-]
I thought he was mocking the wife at first "you never listen to me, say you love me"
#22 - perolaf (10/14/2013) [-]
Just saying "i just won 10 million dollars and you aint gettin shit" would be enough
#35 - lotlizard (10/15/2013) [-]
See, even shit like this makes us West Virginians look bad. Can't we just invent something to help further the lives of others... or better our economy in some small way... or learn to read?
#31 - walmartysghost **User deleted account** (10/15/2013) [+] (4 replies)
I feel like this was gender-swapped
#33 to #31 - jayax (10/15/2013) [-]
The original version of the post was with different genders.
User avatar #30 - Lintutu (10/15/2013) [-]
This joke is backwards..
User avatar #29 - nicnacquarterback (10/15/2013) [-]
i actually saw this a couple years ago. it is originally girl leaving guy
User avatar #24 - manofparody (10/15/2013) [-]
Usually this would be a win, but there's too much shit in this to be true. It's blatantly bullshit.
User avatar #21 - umaya (10/14/2013) [-]
That line about she stopped eating pork 7 years ago, that made me go "oh snap" out loud, which is uncommon for me, so what I'm saying is, that was a good comeback.
User avatar #19 - tuned (10/14/2013) [-]
but if the guy won the lottery oh you would never hear the end of it

User avatar #12 - flemsdfer ONLINE (10/14/2013) [-]
I don't know any guys who would piss and moan like that about their significant other not noticing new clothes or hair cuts immediately.
User avatar #9 - lmOldGreg (10/14/2013) [-]
His ex wins the lottery and his new missus is a bloke... seems legit.
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