Bad start to a fairytale. Credit to borinq @ tumblr. Everyone SAYS they want fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I' m aseret tag
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#3 - mraye (11/10/2013) [+] (1 reply)
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User avatar #11 - subaqueousreach (11/11/2013) [+] (11 replies)
Whenever it is I get married, my wife can have anything she wants and I'll make it happen, so long as I get my one and only desire.

When we are up at the altar and the minister asks the best man to present the rings he will be at a loss because he won't have them. Suddenly the organist will strike a harrowing chord and a thin fog will emanate from under the benches in the church as the lights go from white to red.

The heavy doors will creak open and the sound of heavy metal footsteps will echo into the hall while several goblins cackle as they enter. Then the imposing figure of Lord Sauron arrives at the door, gazes around the room and begins to walk down the aisle.

The Dark Lord will approach me and raise a ring inscribed with elven writing and state "I present to you, the one ring to rule them all" and give it to my wife who will place it on my hand. Then he will turn to her with another ring similarly inscribed and state "And to you I present the one ring to rule his balls" and will give it to me to place on her hand.

Then he will leave, his goblin lackeys in tow, and as soon as the doors close the lights switch back to white and the organist goes back to playing the standard wedding tunes and I kiss my bride.

Otherwise I may as well not get married because nothing could ever top that experience for me.
User avatar #4 - adu (11/11/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Why would you even have a child at the point of your wedding? That hardly seems like "fair tale" criteria...
#5 to #4 - khepri ONLINE (11/11/2013) [-]
You're not getting the joke. He's talking about their first born child, when the child is born, it will be cursed.
#7 - lordvimless (11/11/2013) [+] (12 replies)
User avatar #13 - nimba (11/11/2013) [+] (2 replies)
ah man. I love tumblr. I wish there was some way that I could access only tumblr posts
#33 - neznanc **User deleted account** (11/11/2013) [-]
Better that than Red wedding...
Better that than Red wedding...
#2 - multus (11/10/2013) [-]
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#40 - fingernails (11/11/2013) [-]
Did someone say Fairy Tail. Please let me use this, I haven't used this in so long.
User avatar #29 - imagnetsux ONLINE (11/11/2013) [-]
they all hate it when i poison the bride and start a sword fight with the best man.
#39 - anonymous (11/11/2013) [-]
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #180 at proof cats have nine lives ** curse you!
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #180 at proof cats have nine lives ** curse you!
User avatar #37 - demonicchimera (11/11/2013) [-]
Doesn't their user name mean 'The Best Friend'?
That's some nice irony right there.
#28 - kotos ONLINE (11/11/2013) [-]
Later when kids ask the cursed child if he is cursed.
Later when kids ask the cursed child if he is cursed.
User avatar #26 - thesimonved (11/11/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Unrelated, except firstborn:

A year ago I was in Spain in Barcelona. I asked all of my friends if they wanted something from there, but none of them except an amigo I usually smoke some weed with, we'll call I him "SmokeBro".
SmokeBro demanded that I bring him a Chorizo, a spanish salami sausage; we both, SmokeBro and I, love to eat foreign **** while being high.
So 1 1/2 weeks later I come back from Spain and go almost directly to a party of another friend.
Knowing that Smokebro is coming, I take that Chorizo and some Whiskey and go to the houseparty.
After drinking some beer and smoking a spliff, Smokebro and I decide that we can't eat this awesome chorizo without some bread, butter and cheese.
So we go grocery shopping, which results in an argument over the best cheese.
After returning to the party, I see that another friend, we'll call him "FatBro", has arrived.
Me and Smokebro glance at each other and decide to keep or eating plans a secret, in fear of Fatbro's gluttony.
After hijacking the kitchen, we start making awesome chorizo sandwiches using the bread, butter and some other ingredients we found in Partybro's freezer.
We smoke another two spliffs whilst finishing the preparations.
After a short argument on how long to grill the sandwiches we start eating...and damn, these were some fine ass sandwiches.

Smokebro finishes all his sandwiches at once, while I decide to keep one for later highs.
AND THEN HE COMES, *dum dum* jaws melody *dum dum* there is Fatbro staring at me and my last of the sandwichians.

High as a was, I try to make a deal, partly of fear losing my arm to Fatbro's jaw/ partly of not wanting to give that last thing up without something in exchange.

I tell him to give me something of equal worth....and he, and I do not **** you,
he signs over his firstborn to me.

Might have been a good deal, still miss that sandwich.
So now I wait to collect the debt.
#23 - sindreo (11/11/2013) [-]
User avatar #16 - gragasvlad (11/11/2013) [-]
I agree that if they wanted a fairytale wedding they should not be angry at you the person that gave them one.
User avatar #14 - admiralen ONLINE (11/11/2013) [-]
people, you can curse someones firstborn without them having one yet, its just saying that YOUR FIRSTBORN WILL BE BORN CURSED!
#8 - anonymous (11/11/2013) [-]
That's because you're supposed to do the cursing at the celebration of the birth.

Fairy tale couples don't have babies at their weddings. They're not trashy like the rest of us.
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