Alot of D&D things lately.. D&D.. submitted to You wanna fuck the lava beetles, fine! BE MY GUEST." highers submitted to I wasted my nat 20 determining how  d and d
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Alot of D&D things lately.

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Tags: d and d
submitted to
You wanna fuck the lava
beetles, fine! BE MY GUEST."
highers submitted to
I wasted my nat 20
determining how straight I
the sexually contusing viking
Player 1: Se, "basically, theme no meld he place detain.
Player 2: Challenge accepted,
So what turns a horse on? Is there
like, , or something? What
about horseradish?
431]! mated:
That' s a morto end up with as points of nonlethal ass damage"
marauders submitted to
It may be a totalitarian insect dictatorship's- but it' s a totalitarian insect
dicktatorship that weeks!
Rogue: Naw, it' s an excellent plan. Not in this dimension, and pobably not even in this reality,
but Pm absolutaly certain it is an excellent plan .
What, are YOU gonna tell the
Bard: , minotaur he cant swim in the
community pool?
We need tn talk about this genicide fetish we win have picked up."
druid tn with
It: genus play goud cap tn the J swans bad mp.”
Sorry, we cant hear you, youre in
hell.
It: just not sure Pm commit tn an any}? naeh this early in the morning''
Bard: Hes: didyoufall an egg?
Um : I was a little ea.
...
+751
Views: 40213 Submitted: 07/12/2014
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[ 125 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #2 - fargfive
Reply +144 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
"How big is the owlbear's beak?"
"It's owlbear beak-sized. Why do you want to know?"
"I want to wear it as a hat."

From my pathfinder group a few sessions ago.
User avatar #107 to #2 - duelknight
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Every single day i want to play D&D more

Damn you all
#3 to #2 - zeatguy [OP]
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
******* great.
******* great.
User avatar #6 - charredenay
Reply +126 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Rogue: Do I have time to enjoy some nookie with the princess before we set out?
DM: She's an anthropomorphic rat.
Rogue: Don't you judge me.
User avatar #16 to #6 - unusualmoo
Reply +36 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Well I mean, so are rogues.
User avatar #5 - ragingspacepanda
Reply +86 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
me- "does the dead guy have a wedding ring?"
DM- "yes, yes he does"
me- "I take the ring"
DM- "REALLY? your gonna take the dead guys wedding ring? HAVE YOU NO DECENCY???"
me- "well fine, if you want to make the widow come in to get it, be my guest, I was gonna bring it to her"
User avatar #11 to #5 - MoparMan
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
DM- Fine take the ring
Me- I sell the ring to the first fence I can find
DM- ...
User avatar #14 to #11 - ragingspacepanda
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
I returned the ring and saved the widow's daugther from a werewolf... and nearly killed the widow's mom via fire
User avatar #25 to #14 - MoparMan
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
I definitely would have sold it and bought arrows or something
User avatar #55 to #14 - jacksipian
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
ooh, more story!
User avatar #4 - rockmanfan
Reply +85 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
"we need to get enough blood to spray all over the town"
"why the **** is that you're FIRST plan for finding a vampire!?"
User avatar #28 to #4 - kirkbot
Reply -8 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
your *
#15 to #4 - urapooper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Is it bad that I don't see anything wrong with the first guy's idea?
User avatar #9 - slapchoppin
Reply +52 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
one time i got a helmet that let me speak any language so i made an army of bears
User avatar #45 to #9 - Kairyuka
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Lvl 17 monk in Pathfinder c:
User avatar #8 - mrdudeface
Reply +45 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
When I was 12, all of my "friends" started playing dnd without me. When I confronted them about it they said "your just not...interesting enough to play with us. your too boring. I got outcasted by the nerds.
#1 - ubercookieboy
Reply +41 123456789123345869
(07/12/2014) [-]
"nonlethal ass damage"
#124 to #1 - fugex
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/26/2014) [-]
#50 to #1 - tittylovin
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
#7 to #1 - caffeinecommissar
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
They might be playing FATAL y'know?
User avatar #75 to #7 - rottytops
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
what exactly is fatal?
#78 to #75 - caffeinecommissar
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Self-induced madness. A game designed for depraved sexual acts, the kind of stuff even 9gag /d/ would take a good hard look on and then board the first Nope-train out of intense bodyloveitville .
#83 to #78 - rottytops
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
oh wow... the only bit of what ive read is horrible...
User avatar #89 to #83 - caffeinecommissar
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Suddenly non-lethal anal damage doesn't sound so bad, right?

Go get some brain bleach before it burns itself into you're mind forever.
User avatar #90 to #89 - rottytops
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
too late
User avatar #91 to #90 - caffeinecommissar
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
In that case have some antidote: Both of the posts I've posted were jokes, here is a semi-serious description of the game:
1d4chan.org/wiki/FATAL
#112 to #91 - jarelk
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/14/2014) [-]
What a hilarious, albeit somewhat disturbing read
User avatar #109 to #75 - sharklazers
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
ANAL CIRCUMFERENCE
User avatar #99 to #75 - ompalomper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Please don't.

Just... Trust me. You don't want to know.
User avatar #49 - EmoHairflip
Reply +26 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
>Be in town plagued with AIDs
>Rogue goes into a bar
>"I have one dose for AIDs cure. Fight to the death for it."
>Bloodshed ensues, spilling AIDs blood on everyone in the bar
>infects every non-infected person, including rogue
>Deadbodieseverywhere.jpeg
>Last guy alive goes for his reward
>Rogue cuts his head off and drinks the potion
>Burned the town hall to the ground and left
Success, if you ask me
#54 to #49 - saltyfries
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #29 - jacksparojr
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
I went with a buddy to play dnd for the first time with some people I didn't know.
This is my first dnd conversation as we're all introducing ourselves
guy: I'm a level 5 orc barbarian
girl: I'm a mermiad
Me: which half?
Girl: the left half
#10 - Schofield
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Never played D&D before, can anybody help me get started?   
Gif related, it's YFW/
Never played D&D before, can anybody help me get started?
Gif related, it's YFW/
#113 to #10 - anon id: 8b6738b4
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/14/2014) [-]
It depends on if you want to do 3.5 or 4.0. 4.0 is more combat oriented and balanced at the cost of many things actually making sense. (example: Wizards training for years when the same level of power can be attained by bumming around a bad neighborhood)
3.5 is a combination of both roleplay and combat, and is more consistent in my experience, but the balance on it is rather wonky. There's even a tier list for classes, and I've made multiple builds that could kill an entire city in twelve seconds.
If you want to do 3.5, Dndtools.eu, d20srd.org, and You need to login to view this link are EXTREMELY useful. In addition, a simple google search will often assist you if you have any questions about rules or specific spells. You'll probably want to use Handbooks while your still getting used to things (for example, "D&d 3.5 Rogue Handbook" will net you a VERY good one); they're good tools for choosing feats, skills, etc.
Regardless of which version you choose, You need to login to view this link is you're place for sheets.
#114 to #113 - anon id: 8b6738b4
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/14/2014) [-]
you're*. God dammit.
User avatar #64 to #10 - lordgeneral
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
dndxplain can
User avatar #48 to #10 - commissarcrunch
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
depends on what you want to get into, each system is pretty different.
User avatar #31 to #10 - dongers
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
It all depends on what version you want to play, but if you actually want to start playing you should find a group, best thing i could suggest is going to a magic the gathering store and asking around for a group, ask them the version they play and start reading up. If they say 4th then go use that torrent, if they say 3.5 then dndtools.eu/ is a very good resource and so is www.d20srd.org/ for rules.
Also you dont need a torrent for 3.5 you can just look up a pdf of whatever book the first book you would need is players handbook so look up "players handbook dnd 3.5 pdf"
User avatar #12 to #10 - zeatguy [OP]
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #26 to #12 - orkoapprentice
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Eh, new edition's coming out next month. Thar be rule changes. Apparently, 3rd edition players bitched at Hasbro about the changes in the 4th edition. I'm hearing good things so far. The new starter kit is coming out in a few days:

www.amazon.com/Dungeons-Dragons-Starter-Set-Fundam

User avatar #13 to #12 - Schofield
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
Thank you so much, I was looking for a good torrent.
User avatar #46 to #10 - vigilum
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
roll20.net
In case you can't find local groups.
User avatar #56 to #46 - munchlord
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/13/2014) [-]
This guy knows what's up.