A Guide to Life Part 2. Part two of the 'A Guide to Life' series, enjoy! Find part one here /A+Guide+to+Life/funny-pictures/4853025. Things They Don' t Tell You a Guide to Life Part two
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A Guide to Life Part 2

A Guide to Life Part 2. Part two of the 'A Guide to Life' series, enjoy! Find part one here /A+Guide+to+Life/funny-pictures/4853025. Things They Don' t Tell You

Part two of the 'A Guide to Life' series, enjoy!

Find part one here /A+Guide+to+Life/funny-pictures/4853025

Tags: a | Guide | to | Life | Part | two
Things They Don' t Tell You
But Should)
A Guide to Life
Early to bed and early to rise makes you
a member shim working class.
Wealthy people get to sleep in.
Tall people only date other tall people, so ifyou
tum out to be short then don' t bother looking up
Just because yours is smaller doesn' t make you
less ofa rush. Unless we' re talking about your brain.
Everyone is full of wonderful advice that they won' t heathen:
to thrust upon you at the slightest chance. Everyone is full of
something else, too, so you might want to pass on the advice.
The majority of people are borderline sociopath: who' d
stop over your corpse to get a better parking space, and
yet they won' t hesitate to pass howling judgement on you
if you screw up in even the must minute. insignificant way.
Just one more reason to not screw up. Ever.
...
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Views: 11977
Favorited: 29
Submitted: 10/22/2013
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User avatar #22 - Underground (10/23/2013) [-]
stickied by Underground
Before I get any more angry notifications, the part about being tall or short is supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek metaphor for other things such as being born into money, or good looks etc. It isn't a personal attack on tall people, that would be way too specific and silly for life advice.

If you are offended by it, your anger is recognized and noted.
User avatar #1 - talfur (10/22/2013) [-]
I'm gonna be that guy and just say, me being 6' 4", I actually prefer shorter people.

I like the content though.
#15 to #1 - John Cena (10/23/2013) [-]
are you one of those ***** who date someone who's like 4 11
what kind of sick fetish do you have jesus **** christ
#16 to #15 - talfur (10/23/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #3 to #1 - Underground (10/22/2013) [-]
There was a lot of discussion surrounding this when I first posted them and I think its a metaphor for, say, a person being born into money and not looking 'down' to find a partner who wasn't. Same could be said for looks etc. Of course it can always be taken literally as well. Glad you liked it though
User avatar #4 to #3 - talfur (10/22/2013) [-]
That makes a lot more sense than actual height. I feel slightly ashamed for not realizing that lol
User avatar #5 to #4 - Underground (10/22/2013) [-]
lol yeah don't worry a lot of other people took it literally too. That was what the majority of the comments were about when I very first posted this in like '09 or '10.
User avatar #14 to #3 - adu (10/23/2013) [-]
Sorry, but the fact that it explicitly says "tall people" and "if you happen to be short" paired with the illustration makes it pretty obvious that it's speaking quite literally. Inferring a completely different message from it doesn't make the advice any less ******** .
User avatar #18 to #14 - Underground (10/23/2013) [-]
In the metaphor 'The job fair was a circus and John was a dancing bear.' it specifically states that the person John is a dancing bear and could even be paired with an illustration of such and it wouldn't be completely literal.

There are a lot of different ways it can be interpreted but its not an attack on tall people so you don't have to take it personally~
User avatar #20 to #18 - adu (10/23/2013) [-]
Except that it is, unless it's an unjustified attack on something else.
Your metaphor started with "The job fair was a circus" which drew an immediate comparison, and "John was a dancing bear" could be comprehensively read as just being another comparison. This is different from simply saying "Tall people" and "Short people" without drawing any comparisons or relations whatsoever. Everything about that statement implies the literal.
User avatar #21 to #20 - Underground (10/23/2013) [-]
It's a very dry tongue-in-cheek sort of metaphor but it is one none the less because it being literal would indeed be pretty stupid and way too specific to just be life advice. It makes more sense to interpret it as just being an example for other things.

If you want to take it as a personal unjustified attack on your person though no ones stopping you.
User avatar #8 to #3 - badgerbaiting (10/23/2013) [-]
I'm poor as **** and dated a rich girl (her father's a Lord) for 9 months. Then she cheated on me with a Frenchman. So I told her to **** herself with a bag of hammers.
User avatar #2 - xxhadesflamesxx (10/22/2013) [-]
the only good one was the last one
#17 - fuckthepopo (10/23/2013) [-]
I'm 6"9 and I like girls who are 5"2-5"7 as a general rule.

Does this only apply to tall girls? I know tall girls generally do date guys who are equally as tall or taller as evidenced by my high school and currently ongoing college years, but my sister is 6"2 and her fiancée is a midgety-man who is like 5"5. I get the fact girls want guys who are masculine and buff, but does height matter to a lot of you FunnyJunkers? Do you care about height via dating preference, like strictly? Or do you have to have a taller/shorter/equal height person to date them? Just curious.
User avatar #19 to #17 - Underground (10/23/2013) [-]
As I've stated previously I believe it's supposed to be interpreted as a metaphor. Being 'tall' can be the same as being, for instance, wealthy, and so in general wealthy people usually look for other wealthy people to date. It's using height as an example, I don't think its meant to be taken too seriously.
User avatar #23 to #17 - Bobtheblob (10/23/2013) [-]
Not all girls. I'm about 6'4" and my boyfriend is 5'4".
User avatar #30 to #23 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
6'5" and my only girlfriend was 5'2". A part of me wonders what it would be like to flirt with a girl that can stare me down at dead eye-level. Part of me thinks it would be hot, part of me thinks it would be scary. One thing I know for a fact is that really tall girls are more likely to swoon for guys taller than them, since it's less common and seems more masculine. If you're a good 9 inches taller than your boyfriend then it probably means he has some legitimate advantages in other romantic areas.
User avatar #37 to #30 - Bobtheblob (10/24/2013) [-]
It's hard sometimes. You gotta deal with the staring and stuff, sometimes I wonder how it is to be with someone my own height, but you get used to it.
User avatar #39 to #37 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
As long as love is in the air, **** what everyone else thinks.
Be honest though... you like to dominate him sometimes, don't you.
User avatar #40 to #39 - Bobtheblob (10/24/2013) [-]
I won't lie, I enjoy it occasionally. And as long as he likes it, it all works out.
User avatar #41 to #40 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
I could write 100 page essay about how badly I want a girl to dominate me in the bedroom. They don't even have to be tall, they just need generous hips and strong thighs, and I'm happy to be their plaything.

But this is all inevitably repressed in public and only discussed anonymously online.
#virginproblems
User avatar #42 to #41 - Bobtheblob (10/24/2013) [-]
Someday you'll find a chick who likes it like that. I believe in you friend.
User avatar #43 to #42 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
Found one, lost her, mostly over it except for the times I dream about her.
**** .
User avatar #44 to #43 - Bobtheblob (10/24/2013) [-]
I kinda understand. I'm mainly over my first except for the times I dream of her, too.
User avatar #45 to #44 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
Bi? Strange, so is she...
User avatar #46 to #45 - Bobtheblob (10/24/2013) [-]
It must be the side effect of being bi. It gives you the occasional dominating streak.
User avatar #47 to #46 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
Does that mean I'm secretly bi too? Because as a guy I like being dominated... a lot... but I also like it when I turn the tables.

I talk about this almost as if I've had sex before...
User avatar #48 to #47 - Bobtheblob (10/24/2013) [-]
There's a way to know if you are bi. Do you enjoy masculine men? If yes, then perhaps. If not, then you're probably just straight. And you can know tons of things like preference, and kinks, without having sex yet.
User avatar #49 to #48 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
I just pretty much know what turns me on in fantasies. Also near-sex experiences, if you know what I mean. (Only managed to meet my girlfriend twice since it was long-distance, and neither time did we get enough real privacy.)
User avatar #50 to #49 - Bobtheblob (10/24/2013) [-]
I know that feeling. Me and him are long-distance too, 2 hours away in different states.
User avatar #29 to #17 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
6'9" Jesus Christ, if you just put on a hat then you'd have to crouch through doorways.
User avatar #31 to #29 - fuckthepopo (10/24/2013) [-]
I already do most of the time. And I don't even have to wear a hat. My hair naturally grows into an afro, so I DESPERATELY try to keep it short. I don't need another 6 inches of hair getting in the way of doors.

# **************
User avatar #32 to #31 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
Ah, vertically gifted, naturally growing afro, ****** powers ACTIVATE! You must be awesome at basketball! I kid.

To answer your first question, height doesn't make a big difference to me. I'm 6'5" so most girls are going to be considerably shorter than me no matter what. My ex was 5'2" so I already have some practice with doing romantic lean-over-and-take-her-in-my-arms kissing. I've put some thought into what would happen if I fell for a girl that was taller than me. I would probably find it a bit scary, but mostly hot. I have a secret fetish for being dominated, but I honestly can't say for certain what my definitive preferences are.
#virginproblems
#33 to #32 - fuckthepopo (10/24/2013) [-]
lel ur virgin white ass honkey   
no jk   
I did play basketball, but I wasn't exactly good at it. The team relied on me too much because I was black and tall and overall I had to be the "lead" of the team per se...didn't go over too well when I'm essentially multi-tasking in the entire court because most of the team thinks I was the pro. Although I played it throughout junior and senior year and we got a lot of awards and 			****		   
   
>mfw my entire high school career when everyone sucks up to me or picks me first in sports and get several requests to join the football team
lel ur virgin white ass honkey
no jk
I did play basketball, but I wasn't exactly good at it. The team relied on me too much because I was black and tall and overall I had to be the "lead" of the team per se...didn't go over too well when I'm essentially multi-tasking in the entire court because most of the team thinks I was the pro. Although I played it throughout junior and senior year and we got a lot of awards and ****

>mfw my entire high school career when everyone sucks up to me or picks me first in sports and get several requests to join the football team
#34 to #33 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
Guess which one I am.
#35 to #34 - fuckthepopo (10/24/2013) [-]
Yeah. Tall people stereotypes. Not all of us are that good at sports. I don't even watch football and I don't understand it, never knew how to play it growing up. Never played baseball. I played basketball and dodgeball during recess. Continued playing basketball until I graduated from high school.   
   
I don't play basketball anymore. It probably could have helped me get a scholarship but now I'm on student loan debt and I'm 			******		 for the rest of my life.
Yeah. Tall people stereotypes. Not all of us are that good at sports. I don't even watch football and I don't understand it, never knew how to play it growing up. Never played baseball. I played basketball and dodgeball during recess. Continued playing basketball until I graduated from high school.

I don't play basketball anymore. It probably could have helped me get a scholarship but now I'm on student loan debt and I'm ****** for the rest of my life.
User avatar #36 to #35 - adu (10/24/2013) [-]
Yep. Can't help but feel jealous for all the guys getting full rides because they can dribble a ball or toss a pigskin.
User avatar #38 to #36 - fuckthepopo (10/24/2013) [-]
I go to Cal-Poly and a guy who plays forward is a few dorm rooms across from me so I could probably get in for the 14-15 roster seeing as I have a pretty good point, rebound, and block average.

Na tho. I don't want any attention or other **** to go along with an Aerospace degree. Don't need that. I'm a freshman in college. I don't sleep with all the coursework I'm assigned.
#9 - crzylion (10/23/2013) [-]
mfw im 6ft5, like petite girls but they hardly ever bother looking all the way up unless i call attention to myself.

**** your tips
User avatar #10 - tittylovin (10/23/2013) [-]
These are **** , especially the one about height.
At least you ended on a good one, that one's true.
User avatar #13 - adu (10/23/2013) [-]
This whole thing is a crock of **** and it pisses me off that people think this.
I'm a 6'5" guy waiting for the opportunity to get to know a truly sweet girl, and I don't need ******** telling people to ignore the tall ones because we're somehow stuck-up elitists because of our ******* genetics. Jesus Christ.

Only helpful advice is from #4, which I found immediately applicable.
User avatar #28 - sparkyoneonetwo (10/23/2013) [-]
this is some ****** guide...
User avatar #26 - backupclover (10/23/2013) [-]
I'm 6 foot 3 and I'm into short girls...
User avatar #25 - doktorpaj (10/23/2013) [-]
Have you uploaded part 3? If so, will you put a link to it in the description or in a stickied comment?
User avatar #24 - Pikachuuu (10/23/2013) [-]
My father wakes up at 5:30 am and isn't home till around 6 pm. Not trying to sound like a douche, but he makes a lot of money. Not all wealthy people sleep in..
User avatar #12 - gurtol (10/23/2013) [-]
Useful advice
User avatar #11 - tisjunkisdamnfunny (10/23/2013) [-]
tall girls go for guys taller they never downgrade
User avatar #7 - agrofenlas (10/23/2013) [-]
The last sentiment on this list is amazing. And its got a point, people freak over the little things, but whats it matter in the long run?
#6 - secretmouse (10/22/2013) [-]
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