4chinese. I´m not funny so i post other people´s work. spread american sonly vete republican because snessy slave misgovernment disability benefits because sf o
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4chinese

4chinese. I´m not funny so i post other people´s work. spread american sonly vete republican because snessy slave misgovernment disability benefits because sf o

I´m not funny so i post other people´s work

spread american
sonly vete republican
because
snessy
slave misgovernment disability benefits because sf obesity
sbe
rumbling, haven' t eaten in 20 minutes
sshould gs to mcdonalds, just started serving lunch
strate get inte minivan with assistance lift
clift collapses due to excess weight
ifall out onto driveway
scala 911
s" siree longer have ambulances because sf obamacare. we can' t help you"
ddamn you obama
struck in driveway, cant get inte wheelchair
turn inte minutes, i' m getting hungrier and hungrier
can feel my stomach starting to digest itself
seeing mad with hunger
pull out my gun, and start firing in the wirte get attention
ssomeone hears and calls ceps
tthey arrive to my house 30 minutes later, put me back inte wheelchair
seeps mad as **** "sirree are not allowed to discharge a firearm in a residential area"
remind them that this is america and i have the freedom to fire a gun wherever and whenever i please
tthey place me under arrest because they dent know anything about my freedoms
wont fit en my wrists
scan' t fit inte police car
tthey have to call special geriatric handling police unit
tthey place en me en modified flatbed truck and bring me to police station
spat inte cell that can accomadate sameone with my needs
Mold i will be booked shortly
sne feed being brought
sat this point i' m absolutely starved, my vision is becoming blurry and my extremities are going numb
scream "THIS IS AMERICA AND I DEMAND TC) BE BROUGHT ) RIGHT NDW"
sene guard knows hew america works and asks me what i want mcdonalds
order E big macs with pickles, 3 supersize hies, A apple pies and at least 2 gallons eddied coke
squard semes back 30 minutes later
stee even scream at him forsaking SC) long
scrab bags and rifle through them frantically looking fer big macs
secund ene
Aspen it
sit has pickles en it
...
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Views: 37452
Favorited: 67
Submitted: 04/26/2014
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Comments(143):

[ 143 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#25 - coonseth (04/27/2014) [-]
"one guard knows how america works"
#1 - opisme (04/27/2014) [-]
If only this was the case. 4/26 never forget
User avatar #4 to #1 - WinnerofTheGame ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
As I read through the post, I had decided that if no one posted this pic i would. Thanks.
User avatar #115 to #1 - thenoodle (04/27/2014) [-]
Das my birthday do.
#17 - redstag (04/27/2014) [-]
Okay so I'm a middle of the fence guy, as far as politics go. I believe that a gay married couple should have the right to own high capacity magazines for there guns to protect their field of marijuana plants and their transgender kid But my conservative side is slightly offended by this.
User avatar #64 to #17 - apurpleliger (04/27/2014) [-]
Sounds like you're a Libertarian to me. I like Libertarians far more than I like Democrats.
User avatar #71 to #64 - redstag (04/27/2014) [-]
I consider myself unaffiliated.
User avatar #90 to #64 - Marker ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
eh, Libertarianism is interesting and all, but Ron Paul is a nutacse. His son is oddly moreso, but I think he identifies as conservative
User avatar #93 to #17 - oxymoronking ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
your not "on the fence", your a log cabin republican. republican, but liberal on most social issues. im the same
#18 to #17 - pebar (04/27/2014) [-]
What about your economic views?
#68 to #18 - redstag (04/27/2014) [-]
Pro small business/anti corporation
I don't believe that any company should ever be considered too big to fail. And the argument "what about all the workers losing there jobs?!" is complete ******** . Old companies die, new companies come back better than the ones before, those out of work employees move to the new company.
Anti Federal Tax/ Pro Local tax(more local than state)
Hate high taxes and hate forced taxation (I like to think of that as extortion.) However local taxes help out immediate areas around you and a better infrastructure, but there should still be more flexible options towards being taxed. And Federal tax is complete ******** Guys in DC who can't set a budget in over a decade who drive mazarati's and bentley's Shouldn't be turning to me because they spend too damn much and don' want to spend their rainy day money. I budget every month for every cost, hell I'm budgeting for **** five years down the road and these guys cant pull a realistic figure out of their ass? And why? Because they know they dont have too. Because we don't do **** about it. Fed taxes should be dropped on all non political citizens freeze every politician's bank accounts frozen till they can set a ******* budget. Problem would be fixed in a week.
Economically I guess I lean more conservative. Human right's and all that **** i guess I'm more liberal. But I like to think I'm a constitutionalist I personally think we have the best constitution out there, we just need to actually read it occasionally lol.

TL;DR **** you reading is good for you

User avatar #78 to #68 - pebar (04/27/2014) [-]
Sen. Ted Cruz: "The Obama economic agenda has exacerbated income inequality"
Taxing Corporations - Dr. Milton Friedman Pro-freedom =/= pro-business
#57 - yoloswagfourtwinty (04/27/2014) [-]
I HATE ze pickles!
#58 to #57 - yoloswagfourtwinty (04/27/2014) [-]
what just happened
#20 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
>live in cali
> generally votes over 60% democrat in pres elections
>more than half of residents on some sort of financial aid
>state is billions in debt
> schools that have banned american flags because it offends mexican students
>community college price is skyrocketing because 71%(in my school) receive financial aid (not loans)
>have to carry a weapon if i plan on staying in LA past 5 (im white)
>my unemployed uncle and his girlfriend have a larger food budget than my family does with both parents working
>constantly here liberals complain about republicans and how liberal policies are the best thing that can happen to this country
User avatar #96 to #20 - higaphix (04/27/2014) [-]
i live in cali too, sf sucks
User avatar #120 to #20 - Digitalphear (04/27/2014) [-]
Wait, Cali banned the American flag because it offended Mexican students?

I..what..
#23 to #20 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
You realise in your two party system, nothing changes no matter who is in charge 'liberals' or 'conservatives'; they're two sides of the same coin.
User avatar #32 to #23 - rottens (04/27/2014) [-]
America needs to be a one party system. No presidents, just one king. We also need to rid ourselves of fire arms and resort back to swords, and bows. Wars will no longer be fought for years, instead, we have one huge mosh pit with pointy sticks and rocks. No one will **** with us. Also, we must use magic and such.
#27 to #23 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
say that to the booming Texas economy.
User avatar #65 to #27 - reginleif ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
Texas is booming in the same way Russia is booming, because of the high cost of energy that pretty much powers their markets. They're basically gas stations with laws.

That coupled with the their non-existent labor and business laws pretty much explains their success, they're the cheap whores of industry. (Remember that California still leads the 50 states on tech hubs in spite of their restrictions, it's because they have something to offer besides cheap dirt and energy).
User avatar #116 to #65 - commontroll (04/27/2014) [-]
It's actually a lot more diversified of an economy than you think.

You need to login to view this link

Texas actually is worth more than California in tech exports now, our oil and gas industry only makes up 9.8% of our industry, compared to the Silicon Valley which only contributes to 10.4% of California's GDP. Texas actually has a higher manufacturing industry than mining (which includes oil and gas drilling) and farming is also another large industry, just like with California.

There's no personal income tax, and low property taxes. Almost all taxes that Texans have are federal. If Texas was an independent nation, it would surpass Australia and rival Canada when looking at GDP.

There's also a much lower cost of living in Texas than there is in California, and don't forget that Texas has remained relatively recession-proof. Whether this is because of government policies, the industries already in place, or just dumb luck, either way its proven.

So yeah, sorry, but California's industries are sinking, and they are leaving.
#39 to #27 - therebemoose (04/27/2014) [-]
The wont firing of guns doesn't make an economy "booming".
User avatar #63 to #39 - apurpleliger (04/27/2014) [-]
And your misunderstanding of Texans doesn't have anything to do with the way the economy works.
User avatar #67 to #63 - therebemoose (04/27/2014) [-]
It was a joke. I even included a highly relevant Simpsons reference.
User avatar #122 to #67 - apurpleliger (04/27/2014) [-]
Ah, I get it now. I don't watch the Simpsons.
#45 - adaaayyymmm (04/27/2014) [-]
my Grandma is extremely racist and hates Obama. This is what i got her for her birthday.
User avatar #80 to #45 - greatgranpapy (04/27/2014) [-]
Obama-hair?
User avatar #69 to #45 - kennyh (04/27/2014) [-]
I'm not racist and I hate Obama
User avatar #138 to #69 - iamthepapercut (04/27/2014) [-]
I'm Obama and I don't hate racists
#95 to #69 - jedawg (04/27/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #110 - ecowolfrb (04/27/2014) [-]
>only vote republican
>live off government disability
wat
#133 to #110 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
That is pretty much how is works. Every Conservative is ignorant and hypocritical. I once used to hang out with a guy named Tom who I've known since Elementary school. Tom, his brother and sister, and his mom and dad ALL live off of his dad's disability payments and his mom's welfare, but yet they're die-hard Republicans and they constantly complain about "moochers living off of the Government" when THEY THEMSELVES ARE LIVING OFF THE GOVERNMENT!!! That's why I stopped talking to those ******* retards. Every single Republican is just like those stupid cunts, too. Republicans are the sole reason why America is so ass-backwards and why Europeans love to make fun of us.
#142 to #133 - captainstinkypinky (04/27/2014) [-]
>every republican/conservative   
>gives example of one family   
yea
>every republican/conservative
>gives example of one family
yea
#74 - freedombirdman (04/27/2014) [-]
I can enjoy self depreciating humor, but save for the very last bit I didn't really see any actual humor, just more 'Americans are fat' bandwagoning. If you're going to make fun of a nation at least do it right.

Also, this is clearly inaccurate, Americans love pickles.
#102 to #74 - galedrive ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
"650lbs because of genetics" had me rolling though.
User avatar #28 - MrSunday (04/27/2014) [-]
> republican
> living off of government disability

right.
#82 to #28 - comradewinter (04/27/2014) [-]
The US is also famously known for its hypocricy.
User avatar #113 to #28 - damping (04/27/2014) [-]
You know Republican voting states use much more of their share of welfare right? Poor southern white people vote republican.
User avatar #47 to #28 - failtolawl ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
republicans only support government disability when they have the need for it themselves.
User avatar #50 to #47 - MrSunday (04/27/2014) [-]
people who call themselves republicans that support not saying that they should completely be abolished, but republicans by definition support less governmental intervention and a smaller government as a whole, not to be confused with conservatism. governmental programs such as welfare and the affordable care act .. arent republican.
User avatar #81 to #47 - pebar (04/27/2014) [-]
Responsibility to the Poor Actually not....
User avatar #59 to #47 - apurpleliger (04/27/2014) [-]
No. If you live in America, don't have a job, and live off government disability because you're obese, you will vote Democratic. You don't have another option if you want to continue living on welfare. The only people in that situation who vote Republican are misinformed people who have no idea that they're voting against themselves. You have to be some kind of stupid to think that someone living solely off welfare is a Republican.
User avatar #62 to #28 - apurpleliger (04/27/2014) [-]
This is what rustled my jimmies the most about this one. If you're going to stereotype, at least try to do it correctly.
#126 - ifourme (04/27/2014) [-]
op's face when
User avatar #34 - samoaspider (04/27/2014) [-]
Is the % of people who hate pickles really that high?
User avatar #38 to #34 - Bidoof (04/27/2014) [-]
well Im allergic so....
User avatar #97 to #38 - oxymoronking ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
I AM YOUR GOD
User avatar #37 to #34 - fuckthehabs (04/27/2014) [-]
Pickles: fantastic
Pickles on burgers: not so fantastic
User avatar #48 to #37 - kindremind (04/27/2014) [-]
I'm probably scum for this but i can only eat them on burgers.
User avatar #88 to #48 - Marker ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
I eat them any time provided they're made right (I've seen some overly sweet pickles claiming to be dill)
#43 - Gewdaism (04/27/2014) [-]
Southerners are the biggest ******* welfare queens there are
User avatar #70 to #43 - kennyh (04/27/2014) [-]
There are a lot more black people in the South.
User avatar #77 to #70 - reginleif ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
Lot more Klansmen too. :/
#135 to #77 - iamthepapercut (04/27/2014) [-]
And a few black klansmen
#73 to #70 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
Yes, there are so many black people in Montana and South/ North Dakota.
User avatar #101 to #73 - kennyh (04/27/2014) [-]
A lot of that is subsidies to farmers, not welfare. But whatever. people WANT to hate the South so you will look blatant fact right in the eye and ignore it to perpetuate your ******** ideologies.
User avatar #75 to #73 - kennyh (04/27/2014) [-]
There are more black people in the south, That is a true statement. You can point out whatever you want but all I said is that there are more black people in the south, which is a true statement.
User avatar #94 to #43 - oxymoronking ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
only .97, wow.
User avatar #130 to #43 - meganinja ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
Probably because the Civil War ****** up the Southern economy so bad that it hasn't been until the last 40 years or so that the economy's been within 80 percent or so of the North's.
User avatar #134 to #43 - retardedowl (04/27/2014) [-]
yeah because they got totally ****** in reconstruction so much that the effects still last today
User avatar #137 to #43 - iamthepapercut (04/27/2014) [-]
What does any of that even mean
User avatar #72 to #43 - soldieroffortunemp (04/27/2014) [-]
Don't judge this to harshly either, realize southern states are proportionally larger than northern states. Also don't hate on Montana for our number we have nothing but a bunch of lazy prairie ******* . Most people I know work hard, except them. I catch more of them stealing than any other color. I've only caught 1 black person and 3 white, the rest are prairie ******* .
#79 to #43 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
That's because unproductive blacks make up a huge chunk of the south.

If you look at the midwest, nearly all of government spending is agriculture subsidies, not welfare.

Get yo' facts straight.
#89 to #79 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
Aren't subsidies and welfare pretty similar? I mean at least a subsidy requires that someone be working, but still.
#92 to #89 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
the subsidies often go to big corporate industrial farmers, not poor people
User avatar #98 to #43 - durkadurka (04/27/2014) [-]
Rather skeptical over this map. California, for example, has been sinking in debt for years now. There's no way they're spending less than their tax revenue.

Also the classification of red/blue state based on election results is a bit flawed since a) 2008 was a high point for the left election-wise, and b) it's not indicative of which party's policies actually influence the state.

It's unclear whether they're comparing state spending and taxation rates or if they're looking at things federally.
#54 to #43 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
no way commifornia only has .79 cents.
User avatar #76 to #54 - reginleif ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
Commiefornia by itself produces more revenue than entire nations. :/ So it's entirely possible for them to get .79 for every dollar they get.

User avatar #87 - freebrainsforall (04/27/2014) [-]
+1 for honest description
#14 - kristofe ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
i just moved to germany from arkansas it is in the south were we are supposed to have a lot of fat people but i have seen more things for fat people and for people to be lazy here than any were i have been in the states
User avatar #24 to #14 - thesimonved (04/27/2014) [-]
Still we don't have those fat-scooters in our markets. And no McDonalds Supersize Meals.
User avatar #36 to #24 - alpacalypse ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
American McDonalds don't have supersize meals either, at least not since 2004.
User avatar #46 to #36 - thesimonved (04/27/2014) [-]
Good for all the fat people, at least it's a start.
#52 to #46 - kristofe ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
actually those fat scooters are made for people who have disability's and the fat people misuse them and at some stores like the Walmart in the town were i lived would make the fat people get out of them unless they had a thing saying they were handicap and i went to McDonalds the only difference i found in ours and here was that here it is way more expensive
User avatar #53 to #52 - thesimonved (04/27/2014) [-]
Thought so, but during the time I spent in the U.S., I never saw a disabled person using one of these, only fat people. Nobody seemed to care, all accepted it.

And even if they are meant for disabled persons, I personally think that Walmart has those things for fat people. You don't need 20 of those scooters just for naturally disabled people.
User avatar #66 to #53 - apurpleliger (04/27/2014) [-]
Go to Walmart at midnight and you might change your mind. Generally the mentally handicapped people shop at Walmart after normal operating hours because they don't have to deal with the normal crazy people.
#136 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
"Only vote Republican."

Euro-friends: Remember this line. It's not ALL Americans that are fat, lazy, gun-toting, retards who love to shout "MUH FREEDUMZ!!!!" It's the Republican party. That's it. Every single thing you love to make fun of Americans for, well, it's ALL Republicans. ALL of it.
#139 to #136 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
Maximum overbait
#83 - grimmwaters ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
Thanks America!
#35 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
I am an American white male, roughly 5'8" and 140 pounds. I just started to exercise again a few days ago after not doing any kind of physical activity for over a year, but even then I was never fat or skinny.
I don't represent the "American" band wagon of jokes that have been made on funny junk recently and I don't find them funny. We aren't just a bunch of fat balls who sit around all day shooting guns and eating McDonalds, we are just given a lot of crap and reflected upon poorly due to our leaders and the token few who actually have problems.
User avatar #41 to #35 - PrinceZukosLover (04/27/2014) [-]
As true as this is, its the vocal minority (and not the silent.... slight majority) that controls what people see and hear. Not to mention its funnier to make jokes about a stereotype than a normal person. Stereotypes exist for a reason.
User avatar #44 to #35 - batmanisarabbit (04/27/2014) [-]
"ohh it isent our fault it's the goverment" stop being such a whiny bitch.
User avatar #51 to #35 - roflnaut (04/27/2014) [-]
I talk to a lot of people that live in Asia and Europe, and nobody actually thinks that America is full of fat balls of lard. It is just a thing to joke about, kind of like how people say that the French are cowards, and that the Scottish **** sheep. It is just a joke.
User avatar #60 to #51 - skunkarena (04/27/2014) [-]
Its the welsh if **** sheep, not the scots. the scots just fight and be ginger whilst wearing kilts
User avatar #61 to #60 - skunkarena (04/27/2014) [-]
*that ****
User avatar #55 to #51 - apurpleliger (04/27/2014) [-]
Never heard that about the Scottish before, good to know.
#112 to #35 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
Lol, almost every single kid and adult in Europe knows that silly sterotypes formulated about Americans on the internet can't and shouldn't be taken seriously. However it's hilarious when americans get really defensive (not talking about you specifically) about some funny greentext story or funnyjunk image
#84 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
I'm sorry that you think Obamacare is a bad thing. Because it's supposed to keep poor people alive.
User avatar #106 to #84 - newsuperyoshi (04/27/2014) [-]
Communism was supposed to make people equal, look how that turned out.
#109 to #106 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
noone said anyting about communism
User avatar #111 to #109 - newsuperyoshi (04/27/2014) [-]
You are judging based on what should happen not what may or may not actually happen. I gave an example with a noble intent like Obamacare. Like pebar quoted, 'one of the great mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions, rather than their results'.
User avatar #117 to #111 - damnusername (04/27/2014) [-]
what you are describing is marxism I believe, and that step where people are un-equal is in-fact in the plan. After a period of time the government is supposed to dissolve. However I do not know enough about obama-care (nor do I care enough to research, canada's healthcare system more or less works) to comment on that particular issue.
#86 to #84 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
Hey man, come on, let's not do this today.
User avatar #85 to #84 - Marker ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
I'm sorry you don't get that this entire thing is a joke
#91 to #84 - pebar (04/27/2014) [-]
oh **** off
#131 - latinotornado (04/27/2014) [-]
alright alright i'm an american and I laugh at American jokes like the muh freedoms jokes and all that. However, the only thing I thought was funny was the wwjd part, the rest was so pants on head retarded that it didn't even make enough sense to be funny. Example: OP is supposed to be a proud republican voter but lives off of government welfare checks? whut? All this story does is tell one giant fat guy story.
#132 to #131 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
That's the joke you dumb **** .
#140 to #131 - anon (04/27/2014) [-]
Well, that is what many Republicans do. They take government benefits and then complain about black people taking government benefits. Republicans and all other Conservatives are stupid and hypocritical like that and they don't even realize how hypocritical they are because they're brainwashed unthinking Jesus freak sheep.
User avatar #143 to #140 - latinotornado (04/27/2014) [-]
i'm a conservative but I guess you're entitled to your opinion, Anon
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