On Christmas Eve, a little boy named Lightbob Yagamipants lost a tooth. He put it under his pillow. When he went to sleep, the Tooth fairy AND santa claus came to his room. The tooth fairy glared at santa. She thought he was trying to take that little faggot Lightbob Yagamipants's tooth too. So she kicked Santa in the balls.
"Mother ****** " yelled Santa. He pulled out a chainsaw and buttchered the Tooth fairy. Soon Lightbob's room was coated with guts and blood stained his carpet. Then the Easter Bunny came and shot Lightbob and Santa. Then the Easter bunny had sex with the ToothFairy's corpse. When Soiricho woke up to fondle his son's boy parts, he noticed there was a bullet hole in his head. And that is how Lawliet won the Kira case, because Lightbob Yagamipants was dead.
Then Santa came back as a flesh eating zombie, which is the final sign of the Apocalypse, so Australia blamed it on Japan, who blamed it on Barack Obama, who blamed it on Nate River (aka Near) because he was born in 1991 and still plays with toys and looks like a seven year old. So the government made disney make Highschool Musical 4, starring Edward Cullen, and it brainwashed Americas youth, and so all the brain washed children killed Near. then the government noticed they no longer had a scape goat, so they blamed it on Rock and roll. All people who enjoyed this music were burned at the stake. Next, when they were dead, they said that all people who were "different" were causing it. So everybody turned into a conformist. and L, that evil sexy bastard, did not do a damn thing because HE DOES NOT TRY TO SOLVE CASES HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN!!! So everybody died, except for L lawliet and Donnie Darko, the demonic Rabbit Frank from donnie darko and Tyler Durden, and Zac Efron (gag) and Green Day and KURT COBAIN! and Mail Jeevas (Matt) and Ryuk. Ryuk was having the time of his life watching the human race destroy itself. Lawliet Made Zac Efron his man bitch. Kurt Cobain was busy being God, Green Day was making another album, Matt was playing DS, Frank was trying to convince Donnie they were in an alternate time lne that was going to end in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds. And tyler durden was trying to recreate the human race so that he could DESTROY IT AGAIN! oh and they also had another fight club that met on weeknights